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I found it to be a good read :)

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  • I found it to be a good read :)

    Marriage Isn’t For You | Seth Adam Smith

  • #2
    “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

    Sadly it's a fact nowadays, most of us enter marriage with the wrong attitude.

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    • #3
      I don't think a person who is in a abused, toxic relationship would agree with this article.

      "God helps those who help themselves" comes to mind.

      just sayin....

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      • #4
        I cannot appreciate quote by Oscar Wilde. How can one find pleasure in this? Am I missing something? It sounds wicked.

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        • #5
          I believe Oscar's Wilde's quote could be paraphrased as simply, "Ignorance is bliss".

          Given all of the awful things, people and institutions I've had to deal with since separation, I can 100% agree that ignorance is bliss.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
            This article has been popping up all over my facebook as well. I read it, so did my new partner. We both agree it's beautiful but fairly naive. The writer was still essentially a newlywed and there were no kids in the picture.

            Sadly the pattern that we see as an extension of this article:

            -The husband continue to love his wife and live his marriage for her and to an extent his kids.
            -The wife becomes a mom, and changes... now she lives her marriage for the children, putting them ahead of everything, especially her partner and to an extent herself.
            -The husband is living for the wife, the wife is living for the kids but no one is really looking out for the husband anymore... Fast forward several years and watch how easily things will fall apart. For example, when the husband meets someone who cares about his needs again.

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            • #7
              ^justifiable adultery is what you're getting at?

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              • #8
                I'm not justifying adultery. My point remains that the article about living the marriage for the other person is naive in assuming that it will be reciprocated once "real life" happens which includes kids.

                Unfortunately we don't live in magical Christmas land with glitter farting unicorns where the two spouses continue to put each other first every day forever.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by FightingForFamily View Post
                  I'm not justifying adultery. My point remains that the article about living the marriage for the other person is naive in assuming that it will be reciprocated once "real life" happens which includes kids.

                  Unfortunately we don't live in magical Christmas land with glitter farting unicorns where the two spouses continue to put each other first every day forever.
                  I take it that you were not a teenager in the 70's?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Janibel View Post
                    I take it that you were not a teenager in the 70's?
                    lol Janibel, I just spewed my coffee on my keyboard.

                    I'm not justifying adultery. My point remains that the article about living the marriage for the other person is naive in assuming that it will be reciprocated once "real life" happens which includes kids.
                    I think you raise a valid point - having children does change the dynamics of the relationship.
                    Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by FightingForFamily View Post
                      I believe Oscar's Wilde's quote could be paraphrased as simply, "Ignorance is bliss".
                      Or it could be a knock against the 'comfort' of religion.

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                      • #12
                        It's not a perfect answer. But it is something that is missing more and more in todays world.

                        Putting someone else first. Can be very powerful on the outcome, and therefore your own well being.

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