I'm at a total loss on how to handle this.
My ex has a number of pets in her house, most notably a gerbil, and two sugar gliders. The sugar gliders (feel free to google them) generate a lot of smell and odour, especially if the cages are not cleaned on a regular basis. For quite some time, on the odd occasion that I picked up the kids from her house, the smell has pretty much hit me on the face whenever the door to the house has opened.
I'm normally of the mindset of "ex's house is her house, her business is her business, stay out of it" etc. etc.
Here's the problem. In the last two times that the kids have come to my place, the uncleaned rodent cage smell has been clinging to their coats and clothes. I normally just throw them in the shower and put their clothes in the washing machine, but I'm getting concerned that on the weeks they are with her, the smell is following them to school. I can smell it on them right away, and the smell even clings to my ex, which I discovered when we sat together during my daughter's participation in a community Remembrance Day ceremony.
Kids can be enormously cruel. I worry about them getting teased for what is becoming an increasingly noticeable stench on their clothing. Before, it was just a matter of the smell sitting in my ex's house, and I was content to leave it at that, since what happens in my ex's house is her business, and I totally get that.
But now I'm looking at it from the perspective of a parent that doesn't want their kids to get picked on at school. They are already wearing clothes to school from her house that are too small or too big for them, because my ex has not stayed on top of what they need for clothes, and also chooses to only do laundry once a week. (she actually told that to me)
I'm racking my brain trying to think of a some magical way to bring this up with my ex, but I just know that she's going to get defensive and deny it is an issue, and then also asset that it isn't any of my business. Any suggestions on how to frame this in a child-centred way that doesn't piss her off would be great.
I already know that if I eventually talk to her, that it will be framed as being about preventing our kids from being teased, but I have a sinking feeling that won't matter. What makes it worse is that she won't even realize it is a problem, much in the same way that smokers don't quite realize how the smell sticks to their clothing, and the clothing of their kids.
I really need to reiterate that I'm not looking for folks to slam me and tell me this is none of my business. I'm going to respectfully assert that when it comes to my kids being teased at school, the fact that they happen to be at their mom's for the week shouldn't completely remove me from being worried about them.
Am I over-thinking this? Should I just flat-out email her and plead my case, and hope for the best? For the moment, I am doing what I can to mitigate the problem by washing their winter coats, but I'm not sure what else I can do. I just don't want my kids getting ostracized for something like this.
My ex has a number of pets in her house, most notably a gerbil, and two sugar gliders. The sugar gliders (feel free to google them) generate a lot of smell and odour, especially if the cages are not cleaned on a regular basis. For quite some time, on the odd occasion that I picked up the kids from her house, the smell has pretty much hit me on the face whenever the door to the house has opened.
I'm normally of the mindset of "ex's house is her house, her business is her business, stay out of it" etc. etc.
Here's the problem. In the last two times that the kids have come to my place, the uncleaned rodent cage smell has been clinging to their coats and clothes. I normally just throw them in the shower and put their clothes in the washing machine, but I'm getting concerned that on the weeks they are with her, the smell is following them to school. I can smell it on them right away, and the smell even clings to my ex, which I discovered when we sat together during my daughter's participation in a community Remembrance Day ceremony.
Kids can be enormously cruel. I worry about them getting teased for what is becoming an increasingly noticeable stench on their clothing. Before, it was just a matter of the smell sitting in my ex's house, and I was content to leave it at that, since what happens in my ex's house is her business, and I totally get that.
But now I'm looking at it from the perspective of a parent that doesn't want their kids to get picked on at school. They are already wearing clothes to school from her house that are too small or too big for them, because my ex has not stayed on top of what they need for clothes, and also chooses to only do laundry once a week. (she actually told that to me)
I'm racking my brain trying to think of a some magical way to bring this up with my ex, but I just know that she's going to get defensive and deny it is an issue, and then also asset that it isn't any of my business. Any suggestions on how to frame this in a child-centred way that doesn't piss her off would be great.
I already know that if I eventually talk to her, that it will be framed as being about preventing our kids from being teased, but I have a sinking feeling that won't matter. What makes it worse is that she won't even realize it is a problem, much in the same way that smokers don't quite realize how the smell sticks to their clothing, and the clothing of their kids.
I really need to reiterate that I'm not looking for folks to slam me and tell me this is none of my business. I'm going to respectfully assert that when it comes to my kids being teased at school, the fact that they happen to be at their mom's for the week shouldn't completely remove me from being worried about them.
Am I over-thinking this? Should I just flat-out email her and plead my case, and hope for the best? For the moment, I am doing what I can to mitigate the problem by washing their winter coats, but I'm not sure what else I can do. I just don't want my kids getting ostracized for something like this.
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