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SC's, Motions and Trial's.. Oh My!

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  • Originally posted by stripes View Post
    You know what? There is nothing wrong with Mom not racing to the ER. If I got a call from my ex on his parenting time saying Kid had broken something and was being attended to in the ER, I would thank him for the information and let him handle it. I'd call Kid later to see how she was feeling. And I'm not stoned, or partying, or out of the provnce.

    Mom may be a huge jerk in many ways, but that doesn't mean that every single thing she does is the worst possible thing anyone could have done. Dad is right to look at the positive side of this incident - it demonstrates that both parties can act like adults when it comes to Kid's welfare - rather than hunting for some way that this makes Mom look bad.
    very good post. This wasn't a life or death situation. Kids get bumps, bruises, scrapes, cuts and yes sometimes break things.

    Comment


    • Kids do have injuries all the time, however, the fact remains that LF32 and his ex are currently going through a high-conflict custody battle. The two have agreed on nothing todate and access has been court-ordered. The child has been prompted/coerced to say inappropriate things (she is only 3) and therefore everything that happens is under close scrutiny.

      I wouldn't be surprised if his ex has the child welfare people knocking at his door.

      This is not a "normal" situation by any means. The stakes are very high.

      Comment


      • Wonder if ex would be willing to allow exchanges at her place or drop her off here today instead of a meeting spot to lessen the physical transitions of a child with a cast?

        But she's asked me not to text or e-mail her q's anymore because I sent one a few weeks ago regarding summer access.

        For sure I won't even ask to do it at her place right? As she claims she feels "uncomfortable"?

        Another thing. Yesterday morning showed up with her mom. Her mom came directly to my doorstep with a mean grin, shaking her head as i in sheer disappointment. I politely let her know that ex and I could handle it. She said she wanted to take D3 and put her in the car. (Ex and I were fully capable).

        I debriefed ex (yes inside front entrance of my home --> (she's cozy doing that) and told her .. no hard feelings about your mom coming to my doorstep. She relied with .."Im not going there with you". I said "have a nice day" and she left.

        The crazy stuff that her mom put in that OCL report about my family and I are insanely outlandish. I really dont need her instigating anything at my residence. Nobody in my family, including myself attacked ex in any reports or made created any falsehoods.

        I did it in a calmly and relaxed and polite as I could.
        Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-01-2015, 07:10 AM.

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        • I'd simply email her that at this time you would like to do exchanges at her place until such time that D3 is fully recovered.

          Why is the MIL involved anyhow?

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          • Ex says she has meeting with LAO .. my guess is MIL is attending. And since ex is always coming to and from mtl....she comes for the rides.
            D3 also said something about living beside MIL the other day. I didn't give it much weight....but I smell something sour going on.

            Do you think she'll call it harassment, etc if I ask to come to her place again even though she's said no before? Even though it's in D3's best interest I don't want any trouble.
            Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-01-2015, 08:02 AM.

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            • Surely this is a trick question? Look on this site to see how many of those are involved. I think most MILs by default attach themselves when their daughters are involved in separations.

              It's a very common theme with everyone I know and have spoken to with regards to divorces.

              Originally posted by arabian View Post
              I'd simply email her that at this time you would like to do exchanges at her place until such time that D3 is fully recovered.

              Why is the MIL involved anyhow?

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              • Don't go to your ex's house. Go to the regular drop off.

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                • I don't think it hurts to ask these things. Worst that can happen is she will say "no." I believe that if one doesn't ask for things then one doesn't get things. If she says no then I guess you will just have to suck it up.

                  The regular drop-off place seems to be your home correct? Oh well, if they want to continue to schlep around to do this so be it.

                  Like any other strange thing that comes from your daughter, I'd simply have a conversation with her and tell her that no, she is not moving to Montreal - address it the same way you successfully addressed the matter of your daughter calling the g/f "mommy" - seems to have worked.

                  Comment


                  • I agree with continuing to let Goldilocks play the victim and letting her have exchanges where she feels comfortable.

                    Judges don't read minds so whatever reason your continuing to ALLOW dropoff/ pickups in a park must be CLEARLY STATED....you can't manuever around an issue and hope a Judge fills in the blanks.

                    You think it's best D3 gets dropped of at MOMs.....(formally state it)
                    Is this a reasonable request? Is it in D3's best interests?

                    Wait for the GET LOST and CYA in the PARK

                    This request is ACCESS RELATED and not (indirectly) Court related the only part that is Court related is the inability of Goldilocks to communicate and be reasonable (get along)......the above is just more circumstancial junk to add to the hostile parent pile. (which has to be condensed into a easily summarized pile of item(s) for Court. (best picks to prove a point)

                    3 THREADS back I wrote that the OLD GOAT is Goldilocks lawyer,

                    OLD GOAT is the driver of Goldilock's crazy train, and it's not crazy to OP because OLD GOAT wants all (or nothing.. is not even being considered) she hates LF32 that much.

                    Goldilock's fallback position is to blame her mother for whatever eventuality happens (which is normal) and then go back to sitting on a barstool in Quebec (with a better reason to get drunk)

                    LF32 is correct to have his OLD GOAT radar flashing away because there probably is something in the works. It costs a lot of money for OLD GOAT to have a lengthy siege

                    Changes in "victim freebies" is definitely going to happen at some point...and that'll cost OLD GOAT even more

                    IF the LAO scumbag lawyer says at any point "the taps turned off" let's settle this.....OLD GOAT will reject any settlement and look to cause TROUBLE (to shorten this and get D3)

                    HIDE UNDER THE BED!

                    Comment


                    • Arabian:
                      Drop off's are usually at playgroup near ex's home except for Thursday and Monday mornings, when ex comes to my home.

                      So ex got back to me and agreed that it would be in D3's best interest to have be picked up at her home today.

                      Remember, ex has received served papers now and will be EXTRA reasonable for now Im sure.

                      But she says Im not allowed to ask for summer access .. that LAO will get back to me. (Which will be in late June). So for sure she'll tell the judge that she already has plans.

                      MIL will be at ex's today for the exchange. I usually just record, but today I may have it videoed as well.

                      Mr. T.:
                      The question is .. when will the TAPS be turned off. How was LAO able to get this far I wonder? I'm being told not to complain by my lawyer or I look like a high conflict nutcase. So I haven't.

                      Previous Motion Results:
                      I couldnt help but notice that the motion transcripts are not being entered as an exhibit by my lawyer. She indicates it is far too much for a judge to read. She said she will keep them with her though during the motion.

                      I feel like those are extremely important! But she probably has a good point. Lot's to read. As well, she did make reference to important points in the affidavit.

                      Mr T .. remember way back when you said there's a cool spot to direct a judges attention to a particular document? I think 14C N.O.M? Perhaps I can have my lawyer attach the transcripts to that. I'd like those transcripts to be fresh in his/her mind when they enter the court room. (CAS report too?) God knows OP will be waving the OCL report around.

                      Oh boy

                      Comment


                      • Strange that you are being told that you "aren't allowed to ask for summer access" - actually that sounds ridiculous. Perhaps she wants to be able to say "he never asked me so I have never technically refused" ???

                        Unless you get financials out in the open it could easily be assumed that you are financially able to afford a lawyer. There is then a perception that she needs the legal aid lawyer to even-up her factious victim position. Having income imputed doesn't happen overnight and I'd therefore get the money talks rolling asap. A letter from your lawyer to her lawyer requesting very specific financial information would be appropriate. If you wait till June to do this then the other side has a legitimate reason to adjourn until a later date.

                        Comment


                        • Motions aren't long and there for urgent items (which you don't have in my opinion) Your transcript from the last Motion certianly would consume a heck of a lot of time to sift through.

                          What were you proposeing to do HIGHLIGHT quotes/phrases and put the transcript as a attachment on Judges copy then have your lawyer refer to the attachment transcript items?

                          Last Novembers Motion is over..it resulted in a interim Order....You want to CHANGE that Order. You have to PROVE a change of circumstances and why it's urgent in the middle of the Conference process.

                          All the Judge wants is the current Order and to go over Endorsements, then get a feel for the matter between parties.

                          Goldilocks probably is correct, 'your not allowed to ask for more access' because she's given the access you asked for in the current order (the minimum)

                          I'd rather see a TMC setup and get the heck to Trial than these Motions....too many looks bad and a waste of your money. But maybe your lawyer knows better

                          I'd go after financials (for dirt and gold) and I'd complain to LAO (don't complain then be curious in a letter about the process and eloborate on your matter)

                          Since you've forgotten that you NEED stuff for Trial lemme help you.

                          1) Goldilocks has 3 maybe 4 witnesses to say you a drunk/yeller

                          2) You don't have complete disclosure and LAO scumbag is gonna pull Facebook stuff, liqour store reciepts, short vids on you...old texts you forgot and letters that go back 7 years.

                          3) OCL is gonna take the stand ...and it won't be good what she says.

                          END of DAY 1

                          ....if your not prepared you are going to be so friggin dizzy you'll forget why you were there.

                          LAO scumbag is waiting to "win" this at Trial even though he has no case and already lost Motion(s) and Conferences.

                          Comment


                          • I feel like there have been some changes in circumstances that warrant the motion

                            1) Ex denying school. This is not good. Only a motion could get her in to j/k for Sept. Where she can flourish and build on her skills. Cant wait for a trial for this IMO.

                            2) New job = mega availability for holidays (March break, summer, etc). This is new since last motion. Holidays are currently being denied. This requires a motion. Thus, I feel like ex is NOT CORRECT in assuming I shouldn't get more access since I didnt ask for it. New job = new access.

                            3) Ex wants to make D3 victim and get her to women's ctr's. (Another change in circumstances = counseling should only be through referral of family Dr).

                            There is more but I feel like the above points alone warrant a motion. If there werent these changes in circumstances I would have a different opinion.

                            A TMC is definitely the next step after this.

                            Mr. T .. the trial is going to be crazy. You're correct. I do need disclosure.

                            They will have a flurry of crap .. that I already know. They can go over liquor store receipts all they want. I drank socially as did ex. Texts? She planned this for nearly a year and always had access to my phone. I can only imagine what she was able to cook up. Only negative texts I recall were minor .. not even swearing.

                            OCL report? I agree with motion judge. Throw it out. Her friends and family accounts? Dont care. Neither will the judge I would think. Not neutral parties.

                            It's going to be a dark storm for sure. I hope it doesn't kill me but it's for D3 so I have to give it my all. I made a choice to lawyer up in fear that I'd lose on technicalities, etc ... such as agreeing to supervision and CC. This motion was her idea. She promises that a judge will NOT like a mother trying to keep a child out of school, etc.

                            I'm still learning as I go though and praying that Im making the right moves.

                            I'm accumulating some great character references as well. My neighbors see me everyday playing with D8 and D3 (when shes there). Their kids come and play also. They see how I interact and what kind of person I am. My principal and teachers here would support me in a heartbeat.

                            In the end it will be "Joint" alternative "Sole" .. but Im not losing what I have now .. and as a previous poster said .. "When she's 15-16 yrs old her feet can do the talking .. straight to my doorstep.
                            Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-01-2015, 02:14 PM.

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                            • I hear you LF32 and those maybe valid points for a change in circumstances but they may ALSO be weighed against ..can or is there enough time to let the process (including Trial) resolve and finalize the issue.

                              Everybody gets a fair hearing on thier matters (Trial) but Motions aren't Trials and the question becomes ..how much will Motion Judge(s) keep taking from the OP before OP has no case left and loose the right to a fair Trial.

                              Right or Wrong the OP will be Judged on the merits of their position (they should of settled) but chose to keep pushing and will be sanctioned for that. EVEN if your unprepared, and a lousy Trial lawyer.

                              2nd arm of Court...POOR PEOPLES JUSTICE...Both parties aren't rich....so access to Court is where JOE/JANE PUBLIC go get a pat on the head, thanked for coming out, handed a split decision (joint custody) a unworkable Order and booted out the Couthouse door.

                              GO loaded to this June Motion with CANll caselaw (3 almost exact cases would be nice). I'll be surprised if you can find any.

                              Just want you to be prepared to throw caselaw into Judges face. Thats how they work OLD LAW,,and if your making new law, you be the dinosaur Judge setting new precidents.(floodgates)
                              Last edited by MrToronto; 05-01-2015, 05:13 PM.

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                              • Agreed. I'm hoping the judge sees what's happening here .. like the Motion judge did. What ex has done .. and is doing.

                                Let's go joint 50/50 and move on. There's no need to continue this in court. Tens of thousands of $$ for court costs instead of D3's education is simply not in her best interests...which is the point of all this.
                                Judge may well want this to be decided via trial, but perhaps he/she will understand that their decision impacts a young child's life, dramatically. Judge has the opportunity to grant a child the wonderful experience of J/K.
                                D3 was wrongfully withheld from me for the lionshare of last summer. Judge would have opportunity to help make up for that this summer.
                                Judge may also realize that dragging a 3 year old from counselor to counselor at the women's shelter (and not to her own family Dr. For some odd reason) has to stop. Especially after already being questioned by CAS and OCL. It's not in her best interest to keep having that done until a trial.

                                I also agree that s judge may wonder if resolve is possible. I'm ready for resolve and I have been since day 1. ( remember my blitz offers of mediation, Sep. Agreements, etc).....my hopes are that they can help smooth out some OP speed bumps .. because they can SEE what's happening and their decision can ultimately have the power to make major reforms in the way family law operates. But more importantly, it's in the child's best interest.

                                Comment

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