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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #1  
Old 12-28-2017, 06:24 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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On the day we separated, once I semi-recovered from the initial shock, the first thing I did was change the sheets on my bed. And I said to myself in 1 year when I am officially divorced I am going to buy new bedding. I naively thought I would be divorced in a year. I see now that is highly unlikely. I dream of the day when I am finally divorced, receive that piece of paper, and I will buy myself new bedding. That I pick out myself, with no thought to what anyone else thinks of it, in a feminine pattern, and is obscenely expensive. Just the thing I could never do when I was married. It will be my reward for the divorce process.

I know the actual divorce paper doesn't really mean much legally unless you get married again (of which I have no intention of ever doing), but it is symbolically important for me.

did you /will you get the actual divorce and if so will you commemorate it?
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Old 12-28-2017, 08:33 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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better get your new sheets now...

I received my divorce within 9 months (binding arbitration) after 30-year marriage.

Problem is that my ex has kept me in litigation, disputing terms of divorce, for past 7 years.

One never knows what the future holds.

New bedding is a great idea. I have never "rewarded" myself for divorce. I have a pleasant day-to-day life now. However, I am cognizant that as I float into old age I am alone. Fortunately, I like myself and can cope just fine with a good book, fine wine and pleasure of watching whatever the hell I want on TV, when I want to.

Get the sheets!
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Old 12-28-2017, 11:52 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denbigh View Post
I know the actual divorce paper doesn't really mean much legally unless you get married again (of which I have no intention of ever doing), but it is symbolically important for me.

did you /will you get the actual divorce and if so will you commemorate it?
It can mean more than you think, especially in the event of your death. Your ex might get some of your assets, even if you don't want him to! Even if you have a will or separation agreement saying otherwise, he can contest it as your legal spouse. Some pensions have unexpected rules about division of survivor benefits for spouses, even if long separated.
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Old 12-31-2017, 08:44 PM
rollingesto rollingesto is offline
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6+ years separated, no SA. My divorce order was granted in November, final a couple weeks ago. Yesterday I attended the courthouse to obtain my ďdivorce certificateĒ. GOD does it feel good to have that in hand...regardless of future plans!
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Old 12-31-2017, 08:45 PM
rollingesto rollingesto is offline
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And I will buy sheets, too. Even though X kept the originals.
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Old 01-01-2018, 02:17 AM
piggybanktoex piggybanktoex is offline
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My divorce was granted in 2010, but the real end date is 2027 when the support payments end. How's that for a bloody symbol.

My divorce lasted as long as the damn marriage.
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Old 01-01-2018, 10:44 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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My partner bought a bicycle. He was never allowed to spend money on himself without a fight or to have a nice bike. He went and spent $700 on a bike he loves.
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Old 08-16-2018, 09:11 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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Well I am still not divorced but I did eventually buy new bedding, but more out of necessity. So who knows how I will feel when eventually have a divorce. Right now I would be happy with a signed separation ahreement
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Old 08-16-2018, 10:00 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Me too, I just want an agreement! This living in "limbo" I find stressful. We were never married, but I celebrated by taking over his closet
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Old 08-17-2018, 08:23 AM
PeacefulMoments PeacefulMoments is offline
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I was fortunate to never set foot in a courtroom when my first husband and I divorced. We were both very young and had no kids or real estate which dramatically cut down on possible things to fight over. The day he gave me his decision to leave rather than work with me to try to save our marriage, I opened up my own bank account with exactly half of the money in our joint account. He moved out immediately and I told him that as we had a lease on our apartment I expected him to pay half the rent until I moved out. For my part, I would find a new apartment as quickly as I could. We both kept our end of the bargain. One financial decision I made that worked out but could have been a problem was the car. I told him he could have it but then that would mean he also took the car payment too. I didnít even consider any equity in the car for some reason. Luckily he was responsible with money and being on the loan didnít come back to bite me. We managed to sit down and agree on how to divide our household possessions. He paid the fees for the divorce since he wanted it and I didnít contest anything. I only went once to his lawyers office to sign something and that was it. Got my final divorce papers in the mail.

It was very painful as I truly believed in til death do you part and I really loved him but at least there was no fighting over separation issues. We both managed to act pretty maturely.

I did also go buy the most girly flowery bedspread I could once I was in my new place lol.
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