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  • #61
    You don't have to explain yourself. In a blended family there are times when you won't be there, just like in an intact family both parents are not always around. Yesterday was my step daughters birthday. I was able to take the day off to spend with her and her brother. Unfortunately their Dad had to work. At least one of us got to spend the whole day with her and Dad joined us for dinner, cake and presents.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
      To be clear regarding some false assumptions. We are lucky enough to live 6 minutes from a nice beach .. which I know a nice fishing hole in...
      Don't even explain yourself.
      Certain posters clearly have "issues".

      Have a fun summer with your daughter. It's going by fast.

      Comment


      • #63
        Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
        Maybe.

        But he says he got d4 on the 20th.

        Hard to believe he crammed in the beach, the zoo, fairs, fishing and "you name it" into three days already.

        No wonder the poor child is tired.
        I just spat my coffee all over the screen. I 'cram' that number of activities into my kids days on a regular basis. They have tons of energy, just like their dad. It looks like LF32 and D4 are pretty much the same.

        Oh, and the only one who seems to think that D4 is tired and miserable is her crazy mother, who is clearly projecting her own misery and insecurities onto her daughter.

        I know that the concept of an involved father doing activities terrifies you, but try to embrace the concept, eh?

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        • #64
          Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
          Maybe.

          But he says he got d4 on the 20th.

          Hard to believe he crammed in the beach, the zoo, fairs, fishing and "you name it" into three days already.

          No wonder the poor child is tired.
          And this is relevant how?

          I can easily see doing that in three days. I can also understand wanting to do as many fun things with the child when you've had precious little time with them.

          What you believe is not relevant to the matter at hand.

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          • #65
            Berner .. that's great. That's exactly how it should be.

            My explanation was more to disentangle certain poster's allegations that I tire poor D4 out to support my ex's position. This is a vacation. Beach/fishing was on same spot...home by supper for normal bedtime routine. Zoo another day. Relaxed to a movie and follows normal routine.

            Regarding a certain posters "taunting" that my g/f does most the child care .. it couldnt be more wrong. She is in full time school. I cook the meals (pretty darn good chef), I've taken them out most places this summer by myself (shes in midterms, etc).

            I just find it odd that she would stop by just to make stuff up and put negative twists and turns on my life.

            Anyways .. big camping trip today when the girls get up. I cant WAIT!!

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            • #66
              I've done the forums a disservice by even explaining myself. I shouldn't be. Thank you for the posters who came on and cleared this up for that poster. It really is appreciated....more then you know.

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                ...Anyways .. big camping trip today when the girls get up. I cant WAIT!!
                Whoa. "when the girls get up"? They aren't up yet? Clearly, you must keep them up too late, in order that you and your girlfriend can sleep in. How very selfish of you. More tiring out the children.

                Ahaha. Just kidding. :-)
                Enjoy the camping.

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                • #68
                  Frittata

                  Originally posted by dad2bandm View Post
                  Whoa. "when the girls get up"? They aren't up yet? Clearly, you must keep them up too late, in order that you and your girlfriend can sleep in. How very selfish of you. More tiring out the children.

                  Ahaha. Just kidding. :-)
                  Enjoy the camping.
                  I heard little footsteps going to her sisters room. I now hear them reading and laughing. (They're besties!!) I'm going to surprise them with my frittata specialty in 5 minutes. yummy lmao

                  Have a great weekend everyone!!!!!

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                  • #69
                    Ok this is what I think.

                    Your girls and life sound almost too good to be true. Fishing with a 4 year old?, Fishing is all patience and somber peaceful sitting, camping with little kids is a lot of work, cleaning tooth brushing wondering around and learning there boundaries with other campers , and bed time is what most parents need to do to their kids for their health and our sanity, you know, and as for meals their palates are bland at this age and unpredictable.

                    Now in saying this maybe you fished for only ten minutes and that was the perfect amount of time and a great thrill, and camped in a comfortable trailer with shower and toilet, or had the best tent and camp site ever with perfect weather. Maybe your girls love spicy curry or greek salad , sauteed vegetables and or tomato sandwiches and have the same exact taste and finish the meals and ask for more with a big please and thank you after.

                    I am proud of my children,s eating and sleeping habits but boy i,ll tell you I have had more tough camps and meals and bed times than any thing else.
                    S and T wrote out what I was thinking I,ll give her that and some of your happy post make me a little jealous, although not at all resentful.

                    If it makes you happy to be super positive and share your joy, I say, go for it, and maybe it can rub off on the rest of us and make for a lighter day.
                    Last edited by Franklin; 07-25-2015, 08:38 AM.

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                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Franklin View Post
                      Ok this is what I think.

                      Your girls and life sound almost too good to be true. Fishing with a 4 year old?, Fishing is all patience and somber peaceful sitting, camping with little kids is a lot of work, cleaning tooth brushing wondering around and learning there boundaries with other campers , and bed time is what most parents need to do to their kids for their health and our sanity, you know, and as for meals their palates are bland at this age and unpredictable.

                      In defense of LF32 (not that he is unable to defend himself or has any need to do so) I've seen photos of his little girl through PM, and have no doubt as to whether or not she's up to all these various activities. In fact I'm sure that LF32 has trouble keeping up with her at times, rather than vice-versa (lol).

                      As mentioned by above posters - this kind of involved parenting is what good parenting is all about. It is not too good to be true, it comes naturally to any of us who want what is best for our little ones (great memories are what soften the hard times in life).

                      Just my 2 cents.

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                      • #71
                        I was around 5 when I went fishing was with my father in Jasper National Park. I remember it well, particularly the cleaning of the fish part which he of course had me do with him (he was a veterinarian and had me exposed to blood and guts early on). I'm sure we were taken out to go fishing to give my mom a break. Just the same it left a life-long memory of doing something with my father when I was young. Through the years when I have driven in Jasper I always think back of those early years with my parents. We stayed in a one room cabin with no running water or electricity. Curtains separated our sleeping areas. At night my sister and I used to put on a "show" for our parents using those curtains and an oil lantern to make hand puppets. I remember long walks up around Miette Hot Springs. Highways weren't paved all the way to Jasper so the travel there was long and often very hot. In the car we would wet our hair first with water and then with Dippety-Do and style crazy hair dos. We'd then rinse the gunk off at a gas station and start all over. Great way to pass the time in car.

                        What you do today with your kids, even if it is just for 10 minutes, will be memories they will have for their lives.

                        I think it is nice that LF32 has time this year to create these memories with his daughters.

                        Lucky girls!

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                        • #72
                          BTW - I have received 12 wonderful pictures from LF32 of his camping weekend. Looks like girls are having lots of fun. Beautiful scenery - wish I was there!


                          Yes proper flotation devices are worn when daughters are in lake.
                          Yes girls are indeed fishing and in one picture LF32 is showing them a live worm ewewewewewe!

                          All fun!
                          Last edited by arabian; 07-25-2015, 10:48 AM.

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                          • #73
                            Take it easy. This is an intellectual forum for exploring and learning through others. I don,t need proof of a good time. I believe in this poster as I give the benefit of the doubt. Just sounds like trying to hard to make things seem perfect is all. No need be defensive.

                            I have made 10 trips to the park in one day with my then 5 and 7 year old more than once. They loved it, to me it was an ok thing to do and well worth my effort in making them happy as this makes me happy. LF seems to need to prove to others he is a good father. I am sure he is

                            Just had a thought to why I made a comment bout his perfect sounding life.
                            Do you think LF that the accusations you were forced to prove your innocence from have hurt you even deeper than you can imagine? I know I am still dealing with mine 5 years later and they don,t hold a candle to what you went through.
                            Now I am not saying you have a problem anymore than the rest of us.

                            Time heals all wounds. So they say.

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Franklin if this is an "intellectual forum" then why are you and some others making digs or putting LF32 down? That isn't very smart or "intellectual" to me. All it does is belie your own insecurities. Bullies do this.

                              LF32 has already "proven" he is a good father. In the end the only person who matters is his daughter. If he wants to share the activities that he is now doing with his daughter then good for him. It is, after all, his thread. For those of us who have followed his situation since he first started to post here, we are heartened that after a year he can finally spend some quality time with his daughter. Last summer he had none. If I were him I would be pumped as well.

                              The old saying goes "if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all" comes to mind.

                              Constructive criticism is a good thing as is encouragement.

                              Wikipedia:

                              "Constructive criticism is the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one. The purpose of constructive criticism is to improve the outcome."
                              Last edited by arabian; 07-25-2015, 11:52 AM.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Franklin didn't put it very well, but I think there's a grain of truth in what he says. I think for those of us who are divorced parents, we sometimes feel like we have to constantly reassure ourselves (and show others) how well our kids are doing, how happy and energetic and lively they are, because we're compensating for covert and overt criticism of our parenting by the ex. I think there's a a tendency sometimes to say "look how great my kid is doing, I really am a good parent! See what a good time we're having!". I know I sometimes fall into this.

                                And when my kid is having a typical less-than-perfect kid moment (backtalk, whiny, upset and won't say why), there's that extra bit of anxiety that this might be because her father and I are divorced or because I'm inadequate as a single parent.

                                I'm not saying this to criticize LF's happy posts about vacations, but to draw attention to a dynamic that I think operates without many of us even realizing it. (Of course, I have no idea if this is the case with LF, and your mileage may vary).

                                Comment

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