New research supports shared custody for children in divorce

[arabian]

I think "education" needs to be directed at the legal profession. Many professionals have to take compulsory upgrading to maintain their designations. Why don't lawyers?

I read many of the above comments and what comes to mind is the simple fact that family law is typically the first and only experience people have with any sort of legal issue. People put their trust in lawyers they hire so if a lawyer tells someone "custody always goes to the stay-at-home-mom" or "don't bother fighting this" they believe this. Why shouldn't they?

Do lawyers stay up-to-date on precedent-setting cases? Dunno. some may but others may not. Often times a lawyer who represents a father is a lawyer who doesn't specialize in family law. Also, factor in the lousy "advice" people get from friends.

With this in mind, I think the problem isn't so much as a bra-burning feminist problem but rather a profession and society that simply is not up-to-date on current decisions coming out of our courts. As many have mentioned in numerous threads on this forum, CanLII isn't the end-all as it represents but a fraction of cases that are argued in court. However, CanLII is better than an ill-informed friend or a lousy lawyer.

[mcdreamy]

I have yet to see a study that convinces me that the immediate presumption of equal 50-50 shared parenting at DOS is actually in the best interest of the child (and no amount of flaming has managed to convince me otherwise), but I continue to enjoy reading those posted.

It would seem obvious that for the most part, children will flourish when both parents are involved - and it also seems obvious that a healthy parent-child relationship post-separation can and does include any of a 30-70; 40-60; or 50-50 parenting arrangement.

The CS tables and their calculations are a nightmare - personally, we've never followed them. I don't know how to separate the $$- other than call for a new formula.

Each family is unique, and applying the “one shoe fits all” strategy post-separation is not, imo, in the ‘best interest of the child”. Everyone posting here is quite familiar with the snail-paced and expensive process of the court system. If there is extreme conflict or abuse currently within the family unit, how pray tell would the children be saved from harm while it took the existing court system 5-6 years or longer to correct? Call the CAS? Call the OCL? How did that work out for you?

Our government(s) has failed in providing swift access to our court systems, and has equally failed in providing families in crisis with help they need. We all need to be paying more taxes into the system.

Social and economic issues will need to equalize between the genders [note: if you think they have already, let me send you some dry-cleaning bill noted "his shirts vs her blouses".. (or both genders could protest tax on tampons!)]

Once equalized, perhaps we will have families establishing mothers as the financially supportive role of the family when the children are young, and have more fathers being the SAHP. Any disparity in custody arrangements between the genders will also balance.

[mcdreamy]

[QUOTE=arabian;223357]I think "education" needs to be directed at the legal profession. Many professionals have to take compulsory upgrading to maintain their designations. Why don't lawyers?/QUOTE]

Lawyers are mandated to complete continuing education/eligible courses, on an annual basis, in order to maintain their licence.

EA's and teachers are not. Nor, to my knowledge, are daycare providers. Who spends more time with your children?

[LovingFather32]

I have yet to see a study that convinces me that the immediate presumption of equal 50-50 shared parenting at DOS is actually in the best interest of the child (and no amount of flaming has managed to convince me otherwise), but I continue to enjoy reading those posted.

I'm not surprised. But then again, I can see why this is your stance. Your posts over the years come off very bitter against male ex's and fathers in general, let alone your discontent with equal relationships.

Each family is unique, and applying the “one shoe fits all” strategy post-separation is not, imo, in the ‘best interest of the child”.

Luckily we're using the terms "in general" and "if circumstances permit", etc.

You don't have to trust current studies, literature or caselaw .. but many here do, including myself. Anytime 50/50 is mentioned I love some posters immediate response "Its not one size fits all". Who ever said it was? Why is that always your go to? Are you running out of replies and/or ideas to back your stance?

[mcdreamy]

oh dear.. Male Biased!!

[LovingFather32]

Actually, females are my entire life. Some posters here on the forums know me and can vouch for that. So keep your bias talk to yourself.

Each family is unique .. 50/50 isnt for everybody .. but "in general", children fare much better when 2 loving parents are equally involved. But I suppose we dont require your approval .. we have a wide array of resources and expereinces that illustrate this for us.

[mcdreamy]

Quote:
I have yet to see a study that convinces me that the immediate presumption of equal 50-50 shared parenting at DOS is actually in the best interest of the child (and no amount of flaming has managed to convince me otherwise), but I continue to enjoy reading those posted.
I'm not surprised. But then again, I can see why this is your stance. Your posts over the years come off very bitter against male ex's and fathers in general, let alone your discontent with equal relationships.

Quote:
Each family is unique, and applying the “one shoe fits all” strategy post-separation is not, imo, in the ‘best interest of the child”.
Luckily we're using the terms "in general" and "if circumstances permit", etc.

Anytime 50/50 is mentioned I love some posters immediate response "Its not one size fits all". Who ever said it was? Why is that always your go to? Are you running out of replies and/or ideas to back your stance?

[mcdreamy]

Let me know when you are done editing, so I have a final version to review and answer.

[LovingFather32]

Yep .. reaching for the bottom of the barrel I see. So lets go Mc notsodreamy

[LovingFather32]

Point out your arguments "against" equal relationships and how the average child, in general, when circumstances permit .. does not fare better when 2 parents are involved equally and work as effective business partners for their kids.

You're not convinced by studies? .. okay
You're not convinced by caselaw? .. okay
You're not convinced by other gov't literature or the max. contact principle? Okay.

It seems that you're simply in denial, possibly scarred by your own experiences, Im not sure. As a long time poster and mod it would be nice to see you promote equal relationships on this site once in a while, in my opinion.

[LovingFather32]

By the way .. I meant that your posts were "not so dreamy"...not you as a person. I was going to edit it but I know that irritates you.

[Soiled]

Speaking as one undergoing this exact situation right now... An unequal parenting regime does not protect the child from abuse/neglect either, it simply reduces the exposure, a bit. McDreamys argument in favor of not having presumed 50/50, doesn't work in protecting children. Unless she is instead in favor of sole custody, no visitation being the norm at the start, until the other parent can be fully vetted?

[Ange71727]

Actually, females are my entire life. Some posters here on the forums know me and can vouch for that. So keep your bias talk to yourself.

Each family is unique .. 50/50 isnt for everybody .. but "in general", children fare much better when 2 loving parents are equally involved. But I suppose we dont require your approval .. we have a wide array of resources and expereinces that illustrate this for us.

Well actually, the articles posted at the beginning of this thread talk about how kids are better off in joint custody vs sole custody. They mention that kids fare better in life if there is at least involvement by both parents. Shared custody is even referred to as being as low as 35%. Hmmmm, that's not equal is it? Yet studies are saying that kids turn out just fine when there is involvement by both parents, but not necessarily equal involvement.



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[Ange71727]

In fact, the title of this thread is "New research supports shared custody...". We aren't even talking about equal parenting necessarily and none of these articles insist it needs to be equal.


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[Soiled]

Your really reaching with that one. The usual presumption when someone is speaking of sharing, is splitting equally. Tell two kids to share a cookie, and then split it between them 70/30 and see how that goes over.