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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 02-18-2020, 09:10 AM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Originally Posted by UnderPressure View Post
What do you mean by ďif there is a conflictĒ?

By being careful about march break and Easter do you mean to include those in the rotation?

Thank you very much for sharing your experience. How has the Christmas-New Years schedule worked out for the kids? Do you guys include in the agreement FaceTime and phone calls as well? Especially during holidays or all the time?
SCHEDULE D TO THE SEPARATION AGREEMENT DATED XXXX
1. HOLIDAY AND SPECIAL OCCASION SCHEDULE
1.1 This Holiday and Special Occasion schedule takes precedence over the Regular Residency Schedule. If the Holiday and Special Occasion Schedule conflicts with the Regular Residency Schedule then XX and YY agree that the parent who has the children for the holiday or special occasion will have them 2 weekends in a row. The other parent will be the on-duty parent for the children for the following 2 weekends.
1.2 Should the occasion period commence or conclude on a day that does not coincide with the Regular Residency Schedule then the drop-off times below will apply. The parties agree that the children will be dropped off at the other parentís home unless otherwise agreed to in writing.
1.3 XX and YY will share the childrenís holidays and special occasions as follows:
(a) Christmas Week: The parties agree that Christmas Week is 1:00 pm December 24 to 1:00 pm on December 31. Starting in 2013, YY will be the on-duty parent for the children in odd numbered years and XX will be the on-duty parent for the in even numbered years.
(b) New Yearís Week: The parties agree that New Yearís Week is 1:00 pm on December 31 (drop-off) to 3:30 PM on January 7 (drop-off). XX will be the on-duty parent for the children in even numbered years and YY will be the on-duty parent for the children in odd numbered years.
(c) March/Spring Break: The parties agree that March/Spring Break is comprised of the first Monday of the Break at 9:00 am to the following Monday at 9:00 am. YY will be the on-duty parent for the children for in even numbered years and XX will be the on-duty parent in odd numbered years. Costs for child-care during Spring break will be treated as Special Expenses.
(d) Easter Weekend: The parties agree Easter Weekend includes Good Friday at 9:00 AM Eastern Time to 5:00PM Easter Monday. Starting in 2014, YY will be the on-duty parent for the children in even numbered years and XX will be the on-duty parent for the children in odd numbered years.
(e) Motherís Day Weekend and Fatherís Day Weekends: The parties agree that Motherís Day Weekend and Fatherís Day Weekend will be comprised of the Friday at 5:00 pm to Sunday at 5:00 pm. The children will be with YY on Motherís Day Weekend. The children will be with XX on Fatherís Day Weekend. Where this conflicts with the Regular Residency schedule then the other parent will be the on-duty parent for the children for the following 2 weekends.
(f) Childrenís Birthday: The parties agree that the Birthday is from 5:00 PM on YYYYMMDD to 9:00 am on YYYYMMDD each year. Starting in 2016, YY will be the on-duty parent in even numbered years and XX in odd numbered years.
(g) Thanksgiving Weekend: The parties agree that Thanksgiving Weekend is 5:00 PM on the Friday to 5:00 PM on Thanksgiving Monday. Starting in 2013, XX will be the on-duty parent in odd numbered years and YY will be the on-duty parent for the children in even numbered years.
1.4 The regular schedule per Schedule C applies for the remainder of the long weekends, statutory holidays, PD days and when the children are not attending school in the summer unless otherwise agreed.
1.5 Drop-Off Time: The parties agree that the children will be dropped off at the other parentís home at the commencement of any Holiday or Special Occasion period set out above unless the drop-off at period commencement falls within the on-duty parentís residency schedule making drop-off unnecessary. At the end of the period the on-duty parent will drop the children at the other parentís home unless the drop-off at period end falls within the on-duty parentís residency schedule making drop-off unnecessary.
1.6 Changes to Schedule D: XX and YY agree that if an unavoidable event or activity fall on the switched weekend both parents will be as flexible as possible to accommodate this event or activity however neither parent is authorized to make changes to the schedule for any reason whatsoever unless expressly agreed to in writing by both parents. The parties agree to respect the final decision of the other parent in the event that a request for a change is declined by the other parent.
1.7 In the event that a material change of circumstances occurs either party may request their revisions to this Schedule in writing subject to mutual acceptance and otherwise the provisions for dispute resolution will apply.
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  #12  
Old 02-20-2020, 08:26 AM
UnderPressure UnderPressure is offline
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Thank you so much! This is extremely valuable and helpful.

I have this prepared going into mediation (edited for my situation) and it will save me time and money, but most valuable is being able to think about this and be prepared to include it in the agreement.

Thank you Abba435, thank you.
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Old 02-20-2020, 10:28 AM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Originally Posted by UnderPressure View Post
Thank you so much! This is extremely valuable and helpful.

I have this prepared going into mediation (edited for my situation) and it will save me time and money, but most valuable is being able to think about this and be prepared to include it in the agreement.

Thank you Abba435, thank you.
Sadly these terms are only as good as the good faith of the parties. That has been sadly lacking in my case. Pleased you can possibly benefit. The winners have been the kids because they are not being passed back and forth on Christmas Day, we can travel freely and there is NO conflict for them. They actually really like this arrangement.
If I ran things this would be law, not everyone scrambling around to figure it out paying lawyers, mediators adn ending up in court.
The family law system is so screwed up.
What we need is more forums like this with a library of things like this including sample successful pleadings, responses and strategies etc etc. Maybe my retirement project.
I wrote this schedule at the urging of my wife who lived the hell of sharing holidays with her ex who once forced her to drive from Toronto to Cornwall in a blizzard on Christmas morning with toddlers in the car. . I am grateful for her advice and insistence.
Imagine trying to take your klds to visit relatives out of town or take a vacation with sharing holidays every year?
What a nightmare for everyone.
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