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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 08-18-2020, 07:08 PM
Googlelawstudent Googlelawstudent is offline
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Default Ex not responding re: going back to school. Can this bite me in the butt

Hi guys,

Hope youve been enjoying this weird summer.

So an update from my last post: ex agreed with me and said we did not need to put our son in daycare. Hes been with me most of the time since May long weekend, seeing mom only EOW. For March and April of this year, we did week on, week off and precovid I had him every weekend plus 4-5 days a week in the summer.

The precovid arrangement had been the case since one year after we separated which was 6+ years ago, but we have no separation agreement indicating decision making, parenting time etc. Since my time with his on weekends and in the summer, and I live an hour from his school away ex has been historically more involved in his schooling.

Now to today: childs school board emailed us on Thursday saying they would like a response by Wednesday if the child will be learning online. I spoke with her on Friday when she came to pick child up, at which point she said she had not read the email and will call me when shes home to discuss. No call. I spoke to her on Sunday when I picked child back up. She said shell call that night. She did not. I sent her a message that evening offering times Im free. No response. I messaged her yesterday and explained my preferences/concerns. No response. Called her today, no answer.

So at this point, deadline is looming, so Im leaning towards just sending her a message tomorrow if I still don hear anything and say and if I dont hear from you, Im enrolling him online and if we change our minds later, we can try and get him back to class.

Am I being unnecessarily hostile and shooting myself in the foot in anyway? Particularly legally? Do you have any other recommendations?

Thanks as always!
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Old 08-18-2020, 07:27 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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I have been hearing that some parents are saying that their child will be going to school just to secure a spot. They are going to wait till closer to the start of school to make a firm decision.
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Old 08-19-2020, 04:45 AM
tilt tilt is offline
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When you say message, I hope you mean email. Save the texting for friendly quick messages to each other and send anything potentially contentious via email.

So, write her a nice, professional email, briefly laying out the dates and tthat new you have attempted to reach her to discuss this issue. State that your preference is for online schooling and that you are willing to facilitate that by being willing to have your child during all school hours and focusing on educational support. Ask for her feedback. Tell her that absent a reply you will contact the Board by DATE to arrange home schooling. Be polite, thank her for coparentimg with you so well in the past and that you hope you will continue to coparent in your childs best interest. If there is any child support, I wouldnt mention it or suggest changes unless it is to her benefit. Assume a judge will read your email and that you want it to be obvious that you care about your child more than money.

Im eager to see the first cases pop up on this issue. Im sure they will start to appear this week.
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Old 08-19-2020, 07:47 AM
Googlelawstudent Googlelawstudent is offline
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Hi Tilt. Thank you for your response. Can I ask why email is preferred over text?
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Old 08-19-2020, 08:14 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Googlelawstudent View Post
Hi Tilt. Thank you for your response. Can I ask why email is preferred over text?

Email carries more weight than text in court.
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Old 08-19-2020, 10:40 AM
tilt tilt is offline
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Emails have headers, showing when it was sent, so easier to support authenticity. Texts are easy to fake. Emails can have read receipts proving service. The format of an email lends itself to more formal language. A print out of an email will have the sender, recipient, date, subject line, and contents on a page. Texts printed out will often not have that information, and print out either to small or too big. Judges are old, they will always prefer an older technology to new ones (I cant wait for the first Ontario Court case to introduce evidence via a video-recording of a VR interaction and the judgebup okntje bench wearing VR goggles)
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Old 08-19-2020, 10:46 AM
tilt tilt is offline
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And on a personal level, I find it works better for me and my co-parent if we are able to exchange friendly texts, but keep contentious issues to email. It prevents a quick trigger finger from responding to an inflammatory text. I have the rule of not sending a response to their emails for 24 hours (I draft something up right away, let it sit, revise and send the next day when I am not hungry, angry, lonely or tired). That is a lot harder to via text. If I get a text I feel I should respond via email, I copy their text into an email and again, respond with the email within 24 hours. I will sometimes respond to such a text with a quick I have received your text and will respond via email within 24 hours. It re-sets expectations.

Train people on how you want to be treated.
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Old 08-19-2020, 11:35 AM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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For DDSB, they said the first parent to respond would be accepted so maybe your ex already replied.

They're making online learning as its own school with principals and vp's. Elementary online here has 10,750 students and highschool has 2,900 enrolled.

Going to school for elementary is full day, full class, with over half the school without masks. Highschool is still online everyday, with 2.5 mornings in class per week.

IMO, as of now I would think the default court judgements would be for online as the safest option with higher daycare costs.
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