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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 08-14-2015, 09:49 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Most of us arent being mean, we're trying to be realistic. Your ex IS obligated to pay for some things and he will argue to get out of all of it. When we say "be realistic" its because we're trying to help you reach an acceptable point for agreement. He will argue that if kid needs to come home every weekend why is he going away? Or if kid is coming home and youre buying food why is he paying residence costs? Or if kid is willing to use all his loans why is dad required to do anything? Prepare yourself for all the assholeish comments he could possibly make.

First step is getting all your costs organized and figured out. Then a letter with a timeline for response sent. Then the prep to file papers. You said you needed to update cs anyway so you should definitely get on that.
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  #12  
Old 08-14-2015, 09:59 AM
stripes stripes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momoffour View Post
There is a reason why so many don't like these forums, that being that someone posts simply looking for some clarification yet others decide that the poster should be crucified.
I have done everything to keep costs down, paying much of what he could be asked to share in but I have not. He simply and flat out REFUSES to pay for any section 7 expenses!
You're not being crucified. One of the advantages of these forums is that you can get your story reflected back to you by people who are hearing it for the first time and you can understand what aspects of it other people might find confusing. For me, what I noticed was that Kid is paying for residence but only living there a little over half time. You would need a very strong argument for why this is necessary (or why Dad should pay Kid's residence costs and also continue CS to support Kid at home).

Dad may well argue that if Kid wants to be at home half the week, it's not realistic for him to enrol in a school out of town - you would need to have good answer for that. (Kid may also wish to consider whether coming home three days out of seven is a good idea in terms of academic success - students don't just party on the weekends, there are a lot of labs and study groups which happen as well. His volunteer commitment could result in his marks suffering).

It also wasn't clear that the mandatory meal plan was one meal a day - in this case, it does make sense to ask Dad for extra money for food.
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  #13  
Old 08-14-2015, 10:51 AM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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You can pay a lawyer 300$/hr to tell what you like, so your feelings don't get hurt.
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  #14  
Old 08-14-2015, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
You can pay a lawyer 300$/hr to tell what you like, so your feelings don't get hurt.
or you can hang around and receive assvice for free

You'll do quite fine, start the process by detailing the budget, collect your invoices/receipts, etc. and put it all in writing. If you need some help drafting a letter, send me quick note.
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  #15  
Old 08-14-2015, 01:16 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momoffour View Post
...
I have not utilized this, opting instead to buy a horse myself, pay for all expenses for said horse, so that my daughter and the other special needs children can ride as much as possible...
One can point out multiple cars sitting in "his" driveway.

One can also point out that you buy your own horse, and can afford all the expenses associated with that, apparently.

lol.

Wouldn't it just be cheaper for lessons, or some other lower cost option, than owning a horse and all the fees associated with that?
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  #16  
Old 08-14-2015, 02:16 PM
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A friend of mine who owns a farm and has 8 horses, says it costs 10k in food alone for a horse.
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  #17  
Old 08-14-2015, 02:22 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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It doesnt matter if she has a horse or her ex has three cars. The bottom line is he is responsible to support his kids and pay certain s7 expenses. OP needs to get her files in order and start moving forward with upping CS to the right amount based on his actual income and request his portion of school expenses.

Making off topic comments is what drives people away from these forums. She came for advice not a commentary on her lifestyle vs others.
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  #18  
Old 08-14-2015, 03:50 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
It doesnt matter if she has a horse...

...Making off topic comments is what drives people away from these forums. She came for advice not a commentary on her lifestyle vs others.
I'm just confused by the whole "horse" situation.

Is OP expecting the other parent to contribute towards that? If not, why bring it up? Seems on-topic to me, even if it doesn't make sense. And the OP mentions it's "medically beneficial" (whatever that entails), so it sounds like, OP is making a case, for getting the other parent to fund this. If I was the other parent, I would surely point this out.

Last edited by dad2bandm; 08-14-2015 at 03:55 PM. Reason: Clarified my posting.
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  #19  
Old 08-14-2015, 04:00 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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She basically mentioned it as part of the statement that shes been shouldering all the costs because hes said no to everything and its now getting expensive. If she can prove its medically necessary as a special needs therapy then she could argue for having the costs shared. Its not a case of "my kid wanted a pony and I bought it".
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  #20  
Old 08-14-2015, 05:52 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
It doesnt matter if she has a horse or her ex has three cars. The bottom line is he is responsible to support his kids and pay certain s7 expenses. OP needs to get her files in order and start moving forward with upping CS to the right amount based on his actual income and request his portion of school expenses.

Making off topic comments is what drives people away from these forums. She came for advice not a commentary on her lifestyle vs others.
It matters if she expects him to pay for some of it. The doctor recommended riding therapy, not running out and buying a horse. It doesn't sound like she got consent amd his agreement before running out and buying the horse, which is way more expensive than riding therapy or lessons - not to mention not covered by insurance as therapeutic riding would be.

I can't imagine he should be expected to pay for her decision to own amd maintain a horse, however do agree that therapeutic riding at a facility would be considered S.7 with the proper letters from the doctor.
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