High school

[yellman]

the ex wants my child to go to th high school near where she lives. I want my child to go the one he is zoned for.

Time is not on my side. We have to book courses and she wants to fill out a transfer form.

The child resides half the time with each of us. However they are zoned to go to the high school near me.

Any thoughts?

[Dadx5]

What is the current custody situation?
What does the child say. At that age I am sure they would have a strong opinion on where they want to go to high school and they should get an input.

[yellman]

Current custody is shared 50/50

My child does not want to get in the middle of it so they say they are indifferent

[arabian]

What school do his mates go to?

Nice for a young person to have good friends when they transition to high school.

[yellman]

His friends will be going to the school he is zoned for.

[arabian]

Friends can be an important stability factor for a young person who is trying to go through life while his parents divorce.

[Beachnana]

Why does Mom want teen to attend a school where he will not know anyone? Is it a transportation issue. Can you figure that out.

[rockscan]

What about pitching the idea that they try the school theyre in for a year and if they change their mind they move? By then the kid will be entrenched in the local school and not want to go. Probably the issue is mom doesnt want to drive back and forth...

[yellman]

She is irrational. I was hoping for some legal thoughts and solutions.

[Berner_Faith]

I would say the school in the area he has been going to is the one he should attend. No one wants to start high school without their friends. If he is already registered in your area, will the other high school even let him be registered?

Honestly, as much as your child doesn't want to be involved, I think his input is required. Why don't you talk to him and see where he stands, if he wants to go to Mom's area then let him, but if he wants to stay in your area, you must make it known to Mom.

[DunnMom]

Honestly, as much as your child doesn't want to be involved, I think his input is required. Why don't you talk to him and see where he stands, if he wants to go to Mom's area then let him, but if he wants to stay in your area, you must make it known to Mom.

I agree with BF on this ... at a highschool age I don't believe your child can be "indifferent". They must have some preference and if they truly don't then why do you care? Let mom register at the school in her area and problem is solved right?

Seeing as you have 50/50 this could turn into a pissing match and end up with a judge deciding. And that takes time (going the legal route). It's going to cause MORE stress on the kid when everything is up in the air and nothing is decided.

[Rioe]

If both parents do not reside in the same school zone, that means one of them deliberately moved outside the school zone post-separation. That's the parent whose wishes should hold less weight for the child, as they've already demonstrated that the child's stability is less of a priority. If that was your ex, she may be thinking that if the child moves schools, he'll also want to live with her more so he can be closer to the school and any new friends. She's thinking of increasing her access more than she is about the child's continuity and friendships.

That said, which is the better school? Friends are important, sure, but new friends can be made, and old friendships can be maintained. Which school is going to set your child up better for the rest of his life?

[mcdreamy]

That said, which is the better school? Friends are important, sure, but new friends can be made, and old friendships can be maintained. Which school is going to set your child up better for the rest of his life?

I concur. At this stage in your teenager's growth, if there is a choice between two high schools you should be examining the pros and cons of being schooled at both for later post-secondary.

Kidlet had a choice of two high schools (rural community, to be bused to both), and she looked at the programs that each school offered, including extracurriculars, and made her decision based on the school.

[OrleansLawyer]

Any thoughts?

Hire a lawyer and prepare for litigation, if the issue is important to you. Once the child starts school (at whichever location) it will be difficult to change later.

I agree with BF on this ... at a highschool age I don't believe your child can be "indifferent". They must have some preference and if they truly don't then why do you care? Let mom register at the school in her area and problem is solved right?

Seeing as you have 50/50 this could turn into a pissing match and end up with a judge deciding. And that takes time (going the legal route). It's going to cause MORE stress on the kid when everything is up in the air and nothing is decided.

Sound advice. Instead of the family spending $10k on litigating the issue, why not ask the child - or hire a social worker to do it?

[yellman]

Logistically I cannot bring my child on my weeks to and from the school.