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  • where & how to go - after the 2nd settlement conference

    Hi, guys,

    this afternoon the 2nd settlement conference finished without settling all issues.

    i represent myself - applicant -dad
    the other party + lawyer - respondent -mom

    1. child access, i told the judge that i can not access my child regularly, the judge is unhappy with it. however, the judge said the final child access issue should be settled down between your both sides and the cooperation is the key to put the child's interest at the first. then judge wanted both sides to fill up the form 35.1.

    my question: after filling up the form 35.1 , what should i follow, serving other party? or filing to court? or something else?

    2. child custody, the judge thinks the child has been living with other party for 7 years, i can not get joint custody. - so basically i have to give up, by the way , my daughter (12yr) should live with her mom (the respondant). in my heart, that is reasonable. i do not want to disturb my daughter's living. so, not a problem

    3. equalization of the net family property. after 6 years from the date of the separation, by law, the other party can not claim it, this issue does not exist right now, and judge was surprised and unhappy by the fact that the other party raised this issue 2 weeks before. so the judge asked the other party rethink this issue. so basically i do not think this is an issue any more.

    4. disclosure of my RRSP investment. all my RRSP happened after the date of separation. so 2 weeks before when other party raised this issue, i did not give them positive anwser. i told them i needed time to think how to make my decision and response to them. basically i did not tell them whether i disclose my RRSP or not. today the judge said that i should disclose all the detailed investment of my RRSP. i told the judge it served no purpose, however the judge said no matter what i should disclose those information. - now i still do not know why i have to do it. they do not have right to know how i spend my money. what if i spent $100 last month, should i have to report it to someone. i have already exposed my Notice of Assessments with my financial statements. by the way, the judge told the other party that if i refuse to disclose, they should not complain it in the court, they should make a motion.

    can anyone give me comments on it.

    5. Financial statement, the other party did not serve me the financial statement on the case conference, first settlement conference and today the second settlement conference. after i told the judge those facts, he said that i should not complain it to him, i should make a motion to solve it, or i have to take it. - the other party still claim SS.

    can anyone give me comments on it.

    6. judge said that this is the last settlement conference. if both sides can not reach a settlement, then we have to go to trial management conference. but he encourage both sides settle it down because the case is very simple.

    7. motion cost. - if i make a motion, how much do i have to pay for the motion. if i lose in my motion, do i have to pay the other party the cost? if they are funded by the legal aid office, then do i have to pay? /// what if they make a motion?

    8. trial management conference - do i have to pay the court or/and pay the other party for the trial management conference. or treat it like settlement conference?

    9. about the SS, is it true that normally the less income side can claim SS within the last 3 years.


    i would like to share my experience and hope your guys read it patiently.

    any responses will be appreciated.

    Nick
    august 4, 2010

  • #2
    1. If an application, answer or motion to change a final order contains a claim for custody of or access to a child, the party making the claim shall serve and file an affidavit in support of claim for custody or access (Form 35.1), together with any other documents required by this rule, with the document that contains the claim. O. Reg. 6/10, s. 9.
      You serve it and file it both.
    2. How does your daughter feel about this? It should be taken into consideration at age 12. And from a personal standpoint, what she wants should influence her parents as well as the courts.
    3. Good news, and good general information for the forum that this rule is upheld that easily.
    4. See 5...
    5. You are both required to disclose your full financial information, and if either refuses, then the other should seek a motion. Same rule applies to both sides. You're right, there is no direct need for your ex to know about your RRSP but she has the right (as do you) to bring it up when discussing support issues, essentially she is asking that the court know about it. If you weren't about to go to trial then she wouldn't have the right to just ask for the information because she is nosey.
    6. Good advice, but I'm sure this was also true at previous conferences.
    7. I'm not sure about this. Costs are awarded either partially or full, depending on the judge's opinion. You only might pay. You would only pay if you lost, and should only pay if you had no reason to think you would win, in other words the case was unnecessary. For legal aid I believe that legal aid would receive the costs.
    8. Same as the other conferences. There is a possibility at each conference to ask for costs if there was a reasonable deal on the table all along and it is clear that the other party was just being obstinate. If you haven't paid so far it's not likely but who can promise that?
    9. Normally retroactive would go no further than 3 years, but anyone can make an argument for longer, judges have discretion but it is rare to be more than 3 years.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you Mess,

      1. understand
      2. under a long term of bad mouthing me, my image to my daughter is not so great. so, i will give up the claim about the joint custody. as long as my daughter is happy, then i am happy.
      3.
      4. & 5. understand, and thank you.
      6. the judge really think that we should not go to trial.
      7. understand
      8. understand
      9. understand

      thank you very much

      Nick
      august 5, 2010

      Comment

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