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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 06-25-2008, 07:56 PM
Mikesgal Mikesgal is offline
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I'm sure most of you know our situation regarding my husbands son who is 13..we haven't seen him for 11 months today..long story short "he" did some very inappropriate things to my grandsons when he was over for his weekly visit which he has admitted to..he decided that he was going to forgo his summer holidays with us I think out of pure embarassment..we tried and tried to contact him only to get the he can't come to the phone response from his mother..this went on and on until finally she said that he would feel much more comfortable seeing us after he saw the councillor..he was to have his appt in the fall and then contact us we thought after he felt like it..we didn't want to push him since he is a teenager and besides he knows our phone number and address..xmas time came and went, we sent a nice card and a cheque for both the kids, one that is not even biological..never did we get a phone call or thank you so we decided to wait until dad's birthday in Jan, no call or card came at all..we felt we couldn't force him to come or call if he didn't want to...next thing we know the mother has sent a 6 month belated birthday card with a gift certicate, no mention of the kids or anything, so my husband sent back the g.c telling her that it was inappropriate to be sending it considering all that has happened...we overpaid her on the c/s by a rather huge amount so we let her know this after she thought we were short changing her..we told her to keep the balance and we would make up any difference next year..so she sends us back the post dated cheques and tells us that she wants new cheques made out with the deductions,(cus she is such a fair person I guess) nothing is mentioned about the kids except that "he" is now wearing braces and it is going well..she has not asked us for money towards the braces or made any indication of us ever getting to see him in the near future just that she looked forward to better times for the family some day in the future..she is the most controlling person ever and my husband feels guilty for not being a part of his sons life but you can only call so many times and get shot down...my husband makes very good money which shows in the c/s money his ex is getting..if she hasn't asked for money for the braces and has gone ahead and gotten them for him without consulting us what are our rights for paying for them if she hasn't asked? she does have sole custody of the child
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:19 AM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Mikegal,

generally braces would construe to be an extra curricular expense beyond child support and both parents would be expected to contribute on a prorated basis reflective of each of their incomes. Perhaps some of the cost is covered by a dental plan.

lv
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Old 06-26-2008, 07:41 AM
Mikesgal Mikesgal is offline
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LV, I understand that we are expected to help pay for the braces, just not sure since she has kept him from us and went ahead without our knowledge and had them put on..we also know that extensive surgery will be needed and shouldn't that be the right of the other parent to be involved and since my husband hasn't been involved in the decision making and she has gone ahead as well as not asked us for financial help how does that work are we still obligated to pay?
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Old 06-26-2008, 09:47 AM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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I see your point, your husband should have a say if he is expected to contribute. However, many NCP have no voice in extra ordinary expenses such as daycare or sports, music lessons etc. Basically, if the other parent has sole custodial authority, your husband may not have a voice in regards to the expense unless some form of order or agreement provides.

The main issue seems to be: Is the extra ordinary expense reasonable?

If the custodial parent requests contribution, then they will also have to produce proof of her income to determine each parents pro-rated contribution.

This situation is problematic with few options. Thousands could be spent litigating the issue. Allowing the courts to decide the issue is generally a roll of the dice but for the most part Courts generally side with the children.

I always like to do the math in situations - What would be the outlay of the expense verses what would be the outlay to litigate and what if the litigation is not successful, The other party costs are also on the line.

Looking at the math, a prorated contribution may be a lot less expensive.

lv
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