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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #41  
Old 04-18-2021, 05:05 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
I am the underdog in this fight.

My kids very obviously favour their father now. No matter what toys I buy them and how much money I spend on them it is clear he's the favourite parent. When my children are with me I feel the need to compete especially when I hear say things like "My daddy works hard and that's why he takes us on alot of vacation" and "daddy is more fun" or "daddy is smarter than mommy because he works harder and has a better job".

My ex husband is clearly trying to manipulate them. My son always threatens me to leave and live with his dad and my daughter is the very definition of a "daddy's girl". If I don't have anything to bring to the table then as soon as they get old enough they will leave me.

You are nuts.

You created this issue yourself when you didnt move on it several years ago. You just expect him to pay your way and do what you want and to hell with anything else. Perhaps your kids are behaving that way because they see the way youre behaving. I can only imagine how you act with your new bf that you give everything to. I hope he takes you to the cleaners and your ex wins. Then you may see the error of your ways. Probably not though. People like you who see themselves as victims just continue to leach off of others and cry foul when it doesnt go their way.


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  #42  
Old 04-18-2021, 09:54 PM
trueblue22 trueblue22 is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
You are nuts.

You created this issue yourself when you didnt move on it several years ago. You just expect him to pay your way and do what you want and to hell with anything else. Perhaps your kids are behaving that way because they see the way you�re behaving. I can only imagine how you act with your new bf that you give everything to. I hope he takes you to the cleaners and your ex wins. Then you may see the error of your ways. Probably not though. People like you who see themselves as victims just continue to leach off of others and cry foul when it doesn�t go their way.


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Why would I move out of a 2.5 million dollar house with most of my essential expenses paid for? This lets me use my funds to pay legal fees so I can get what I deserve. I read through a lot of the posts here and I don't want to end up nearly penniless when I should have a property or 2 just like my ex. I made him who he is. I'm the mother of his childen and we deserve the same stand of living. Until I can achieve it in my own I think it's only fair he keeps supporting me.
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  #43  
Old 04-18-2021, 10:47 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
Why would I move out of a 2.5 million dollar house with most of my essential expenses paid for?
Because he isnt responsible for paying your expenses after a period of time and he wants his money.

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This lets me use my funds to pay legal fees so I can get what I deserve.
What you think you deserve and what you are ENTITLED to are two very different things.

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I read through a lot of the posts here and I don't want to end up nearly penniless when I should have a property or 2 just like my ex.
Please dont insult the people here who were entitled to what they fought for. Not to mention the men with exs like you who played the victim to get what they deserve. Also, you will bankrupt yourself to fight for what you think you are owed when you are ENTITLED to less. Great plan, hope you like being in debt forever. If your ex accumulated things AFTER you locked him out of his home then no, you are not entitled to even balance sheets. That isnt how it works.

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I made him who he is.
No, you helped put him through school. If you werent there he would have gotten loans. He did the rest himself. Unless you ghost worked for him you simply assisted in his school expenses. Period.
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I'm the mother of his childen and we deserve the same stand of living.
Actually THE KIDS deserve two parents who support them. Offset support is supposed to even out the separate situations but you are also obligated to support them. Remember he can argue to have a high income imputed to you.

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Until I can achieve it in my own I think it's only fair he keeps supporting me.
Again, you have had four years to do so. You made poor financial decisions. He is not responsible for you. If the roles were reversed you would never agree to support him.
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  #44  
Old 04-18-2021, 11:01 PM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
Why would I move out of a 2.5 million dollar house with most of my essential expenses paid for?
Because your ex wants his financial independence from you and move on with his life. He wants his name off the deed of the house so he can buy a place of his own, but likely needs to free up his name off of your current house. You said yourself that the bank will not accept you as sole owner on the deed of the house. Your $50k salary won't cut it. You need to accept reality that it is not up to your ex to pay for you to be in the house, nor your bills. What WILL happen is that you will both fill our your financial statements and assets will be divided. Then, you will likely qualify for offset CS and a period of spousal support. I am shocked that your ex has not forced the sale of the house through court. You will get your fair share of the proceeds of the sale of said home.

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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
This lets me use my funds to pay legal fees so I can get what I deserve.
I have never heard such blasphemy. Please ensure to not ever say such things in court. You and your ex from 5 years ago BOTH deserve to finalize your separation so that is is final. You deserve a fair division of your joint assets, offset CS, and a period of SS depending in how long you've been married. You use THAT money to pay your bills. You don't simply say that you want your ex to continue funding your lifestyle and paying your bills, such as paying the bills associated with your living quarters.

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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
I read through a lot of the posts here and I don't want to end up nearly penniless when I should have a property or 2 just like my ex.
You make $50k per year and have a struggling business. Your ex makes $500k per year and is successful. He can own what he wants and can afford. Same to you. Unfortunately, the reality of your situation is that you will have to move to something within your NEW means. Not based on what your life USED to be like. And yes, many have ended up penniless. This mostly happens when people are unreasonable and drag out legal proceedings, driving up costs with court appearances, document writing, and motions/trials. Some separations cost $500. Some cost $500,000. In most cases, it is parents fighting over access to children, where one parent tries to block other parent out of kids' lives and other parent will fight to bitter end for kids, no matter the cost. Materials can be replaced. Time with kids cannot. Please do not insult those who have gone penniless, most were fighting for their kids against unreasonable and bitter spouses, much like yourself.

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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
I made him who he is.
I think his parents would object to that statement. But also, I am sure your ex had something to do with his success. Did you attend school for him? Pass his tests? Do his work for him at his workplace and impressing the bosses so that he rises to his rank? I think he made himself who he is. Now you CAN argue that you supported him during his schooling, which would be arguments in your favour to gain spousal support in the high range. OP, you NEED to inform yourself on what you are actually entitled to before spouting out that you want to keep the house, have him pay your bills, pay your way, etc... The reality is that this ALL falls under entitlement of spousal support and (a) whether or not you are entitled to it, (b) the duration of any support and (c) the range within low, mid-level, or high

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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
I'm the mother of his childen and we deserve the same stand of living.
That is the first time anyone, anywhere, has said that. Actually, that statement is precisely why Child Support was created. OP, you need to GET INFORMED properly. Any lawyer would tell you that child support was precisely created for ensuring that kids have good quality of life at both parents house. In your case, you should be happy, as your ex makes 1/2 Million and your offset amount will be something like $4000/month. Are you telling me that you cannot feed and clothe your kids for $4000/month?

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Originally Posted by trueblue22 View Post
Until I can achieve it in my own I think it's only fair he keeps supporting me.
Again, you will get your support through Spousal Support and Child Support. Instead of pulling up your pants and finalizing your separation through the proper channels (filling out proper Financial Statements) you keep screaming from the rooftops that you want your ex to pay your way. Um, no. Pay your own way through the money you receive via your own paycheque, your new boyfriend, and supports that have been legally completed through the proper channels.
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  #45  
Old 04-19-2021, 07:05 AM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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1. I hope trueblue has learned something, in a battle of wits with rockscan, don't play the victim card. She is actually trying to help you with free advice
2. I would love to have a beer with your ex. My view of the situation is that he is entirely annoyed by the situation himself but puts that aside and is an awesome dad.
3. I am sorry if any of your business partners screwed you over.
4. I really hope the bf is not drinking the kool-aid expecting a large financial windfall from what you are telling him.

My stbx is receiving 7600 a month in total, 3k less in SS than what I am supposed to pay but covid nuked my income in half overnight. Actively witholds my daughter. This was the convo when I attempted to pick her up and she ran inside and I asked her to bring her later..btw I am supposed to have them every wekeend Fri 3pm to Monday 9 am.

This is what is worth fighting for, my daughter is 8. This is what your attitude can lead to.


Me: okay so what time will you be bringing her
X: I won't be until you pay me because I can't put gas in my car. Sorry I have rent, a car, maybe you should sell your house, so that we can afford to live
Me: that's not how it works, so please bring her

I notice daughter walk back so i proceed to tell her a story and she is about to burst out laughing but has to turn around so her mom doesn't see it
Me: guess what, I love you
X: so why don't you want them to eat
Daughter: dad, pay my mom
Craig: ... (and I go to walk away)
X: if you love your kids, pay for them

I go to walk away and x is mocking me

X: ewwwww what are you going to do

Me: honey, honey, I love you
Daughter: no you don't, if you did you would pay my mom
X: this has nothing to do with you, but unfortunately this is how your dad wants to talk when he's near me
Daughter: okay, dad you don't love me, if you did you would pay my mom
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  #46  
Old 04-19-2021, 09:11 AM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Free advice worth much less than the cost... It's interesting to hear the bandwagon go off on such rude tangents based on wrong info.

Ex has been paying way less support than he should and is about to get a huge equalization win while avoiding court. You all agree OP should get more support, but because she's getting less and about to lose everything, you feel bad for ex? Don't insult people going penniless with those avoiding support or equalization.
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  #47  
Old 04-19-2021, 09:50 AM
trueblue22 trueblue22 is offline
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Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Free advice worth much less than the cost... It's interesting to hear the bandwagon go off on such rude tangents based on wrong info.

Ex has been paying way less support than he should and is about to get a huge equalization win while avoiding court. You all agree OP should get more support, but because she's getting less and about to lose everything, you feel bad for ex? Don't insult people going penniless with those avoiding support or equalization.
I spoke to my lawyer about this. He said it's standard to ask for an extension especially if I can prove my ex is stalling on purpose. Unfortunately I would be part to blame because I won't sell nor will I agree to sell without a proper agreement in place.
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  #48  
Old 04-19-2021, 12:43 PM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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You cannot restrain your ex from moving on financially. The court could easily force the sale of the house and the proceeds be put in trust until you two figure out equalization and supports. What NEEDS to happen is for OP, and ex, to get the ball rolling on exchanging financial statements and figuring this stuff out. Right now its just a staring game. OP, you will get paid supports and your share of equalization. You will not keep the house. You will likely need to repay the 4 years worth of free living. Your ex will likely need to pay you proper CS dating back to separation. This is not a complicated game.
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  #49  
Old 04-19-2021, 04:55 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Free advice worth much less than the cost... It's interesting to hear the bandwagon go off on such rude tangents based on wrong info.

Ex has been paying way less support than he should and is about to get a huge equalization win while avoiding court. You all agree OP should get more support, but because she's getting less and about to lose everything, you feel bad for ex? Don't insult people going penniless with those avoiding support or equalization.
I think what people are responding to is the tone of extreme (kinda gross) entitlement in the OP's posts.
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  #50  
Old 04-19-2021, 05:10 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
the tone of extreme (kinda gross) entitlement
Good thing court will just see it as entitlement and not follow the emotional reasoning throughout.
When you stick to the facts, ex is still coming out on top for now, and potentially moreso in the long run, so court will have no pity on him.
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