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  • What am I entitled to?

    Hello.

    Long before I met my husband, his brother died and he inherited the brother's estate. By the time I met my husband, he had tripled his brother's money through investments. When I met my husband he had just purchased the condo (outright - no mortgage) we lived in, as a married couple for 5.5 years. I quit working to be the housewife he wanted - basically I was his full time caretaker - and he continued to sit at his computer making money with his money.

    Going back to the condo we lived in, my husband purchased it with his money, but put his mother's name on the deed as well, because it was so much hassle dealing with his brother's property when he died, he didn't want his mother to have to go through that again in the chance that he died. I didn't ask for her name to be taken off the deed and mine put on when we got married...it didn't really matter to me and I planned to spend my life with him anyway.

    Needless to say, he became a man of broken promises, who only wanted to sit in front of his computer, and I no longer wanted to be in this marriage. We separated almost a year ago. I moved out and he gave me $20k to get a vehicle and furniture and back on my feet. (I got rid of almost all of my things when I moved in with him.) I have been working and supporting myself just fine since. Now it is coming up to the year of separation and I want to get the divorce started.

    The thing is, I have realized I am quite angry at the disappointing husband he turned out to be...I was 37 when I married him...my first marriage...I planned on it being for the rest of my life. I have come to learn of the 'matrimonial home' issue, and that I am entitled to 50% of it. (Well, 25% since his mom's name is on the deed.) I don't want 25% of the value...but I want to be able to put a decent down payment on my own home and if this is the opportunity to get the money then I want to take it. Hi is worth over a million, I don't think he will miss $30K more.

    I hope to consult with a lawyer soon, just waiting for the call back to make the appointment, but I am wondering if anyone can tell me if I even have a chance because originally the money came from his brother, but my husband did the investing and made it grow. That is where the money came from to buy the condo.

    We live in Alberta...

    Thank you for any input!! :-)

  • #2
    Matrimonial property act is different in Alberta than other provinces. You are wise to get a lawyer.

    I am not a lawyer.

    Because you or your husband did not mortgage the property or use it as collateral for other loans you likely were not required to sign away your dowager rights. (You can read up on Dower/Dowager act).

    When did your husband inherit the estate? Prior or during your marriage?/Edit - I see in re-reading your post that he inherited brother's estate long before the two of you were married.

    Speaking to a lawyer is important before you waste any time in court. You have to ask yourself if it is worth going after this when a lawyer will easily cost you upwards of 400.00/hour. (Litigation is not cheap).

    Perhaps the 20k that you were given at the end of your marriage represents the % of entitlement you would have on the condo?

    AS you are self-sufficient, your ex husband's current wealth would not likely play into any Spousal Support on an ongoing basis. You were also married for a short term.

    Kind of sounds like you want your cake and eat it too: You were happy that he made a ton of money but then said that was a motivating reason for ending the marraige. I'm sure some other woman will find his talent of making money from his computer quite attractive. Does he have his own teeth and does he like older women?

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    • #3
      Another thing to think about - sounds like your husband specifically left the condo to his mother in the event of his death and you went along with this arrangement. Did your husband have any life insurance where you were the beneficiary? Other investments ... joint bank accounts? How did you pay for your day-to-day living expenses?

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      • #4
        "Does he have his own teeth and does he like older women?"

        Arabian, that was pretty funny.

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        • #5
          lol...yes he has his own teeth. He is all yours Arabian.

          It would take a long time to tell the whole story, but yes I did find it attractive that I would not have to worry about money again for the rest of my life. However, he promised me a different life with him than the one he gave me. He didn't just sit in front of his computer to make money...he is addicted to the internet. Maybe four hours a day he put into his financial agenda, the other 8 hours a day was wasting time on youtube, etc. He wouldn't shower, he made his little corner in the living room where his computer was stink...I cried with him to please get out of the rut he knew he was in. I brought up counselling...

          Yes, I do want my cake to eat. He always used the excuse that he wanted to make sure I would be taken care of, so he had to spend all this time on the computer. I kept my side of the bargain...I had a meal on the table at noon everyday, at 6pm everyday, I did the grocery shopping, I did all the laundry, kept the house clean, the car clean, I made home made bread by hand every week to save him a bit of money (he loved my thriftiness), I cut his hair (he was too cheap to go to a barber), I cut his toe nails (because he got so overweight he couldn't bend over his stomach to do it himself), etc.

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          • #6
            This will be an interesting case and I hope the poster will share with us what the lawyer tells her.

            Straitohell - well a girl has to ask.... I have no problem with someone who wants to make oodles of money on the computer. As long as the money pays for my golf and wine then I'm good to go.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by arabian View Post
              This will be an interesting case and I hope the poster will share with us what the lawyer tells her.

              Straitohell - well a girl has to ask.... I have no problem with someone who wants to make oodles of money on the computer. As long as the money pays for my golf and wine then I'm good to go.
              Well I am one who likes to be in love...money or no money. And trust me, he would not pay for your golf and wine if it cost more that $20/month!

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              • #8
                Your lawyer will first ask for full financial disclosure from him. Lucky for you he likely has a ream of financial records which can be examined.

                As difficult as it sounds, you have to put the emotion of the whole thing aside because in the end it simply comes down to basic mathematics.

                Guy sounds like a hermit/pig. I like my guys clean thank you very much. Toe-nail clipping? Ewe.

                So there was a 20k buyoff. Anything else? What about life insurance policies? RRSP's? Did he ever income-split with you for purposes of tax filing? All of these things will be examined.

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                • #9
                  No life insurance that I know of. I am not aware of where the money is invested...I didn't ask questions. I felt blessed, trust me, to be in the good financial position I was in being married to him. He has an accountant that did our taxes, I just signed the paperwork. His mother gave him $10k a year at Christmastime for the last three years I was with him, with her asking him to put it into a tax free savings account for each of us ($5k each), but he put it into some other investments so I never got my share of that money put into a tfsa.

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                  • #10
                    Well full financial disclosure will be the first step to separating fiction from facts. Your ex could be worth millions or a few hundred thou. Big difference

                    Did you at any time during your marriage sign any legal documents where you were required to do it in the presence of a lawyer (Independent Legal Advice). Specifically, were you ever advised by anyone (banker, accountant) to get ILA?

                    Did your ex ever work at a job when you were married or was he always 'independently wealthy' and just managed his own finances?

                    What about those income tax returns? Did you file one every year? Did you keep a copy? (You can get copies from Canada Revenue Agency).

                    Income earned (through employment or self-employed or self-invested) will be focal part of equalization process.

                    The more documents you can amass and bring with you to the lawyer you retain the sooner things get going. When you get a clear idea of the financial status of your marriage (from start to finish) you will be able to make well-informed decisions.

                    Putting assets in non-arms length individuals is something people do frequently trying to get out of equalization payment. The only time I am aware that it works is sometimes in the case of family farms. However, there are more and more cases being fought, and won, by farm women who toil for decades on the family farm only to be cut off financially when marriage ends.

                    Always keep things in perspective - you were not married for a long time and you are still relatively young. From the little you have posted I assume (may not be correct) that your focus would be on equalization of assets (being bank accounts/real estate) and possibly a claim for spousal support for your 5.5 years of servitude. Your marriage did not preclude you from being self-sufficient.

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                    • #11
                      Thanks for your input, Arabian. He is worth over a million...I had seen the occasional bank statement laying around. My ex did not work except through his investments, on his own. I have copies of my income tax papers, but I do not think any of his financial info is on my copies. I never signed any legal documents about the finances, except my income tax forms at the accountants office. I don't want spousal support. I only want a bit more money so that I can put a decent down payment on a property because rent is so ridiculously expensive these days I feel like I am just throwing my money away. I have a feeling that if legally I could get a lot of money out of him, he will just give me the bit more that I want and we can do the divorce without wasting money on lawyers and a big court fight.

                      I did not work in the marriage because he wanted me to be able to cook and clean on a full time basis...

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                      • #12
                        I'm sure a good lawyer will steer you in the right direction. Keep us up to date on what transpires with your lawyer.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          I'm sure a good lawyer will steer you in the right direction. Keep us up to date on what transpires with your lawyer.
                          Or a lawyer will see that her ex is worth millions and tell her what she wants to hear to pad his pockets.

                          Keep in mind you are responsible for your own lawyers fees, can you afford $400 an hour for a lawyer? I suggest you educate yourself on the family law rules in your area before you get had by a lawyer.

                          Have you actually spoken to your ex about this? When you separated a year ago did you not have a separation agreement?

                          You can easily blow through $30k in lawyers fees if you're not careful

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                          • #14
                            Thanks for the input Berner_Faith. I don't want to pad my pockets, if that is what you meant to say.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by birdie View Post
                              Thanks for the input Berner_Faith. I don't want to pad my pockets, if that is what you meant to say.
                              No that's not what I said. I said a lawyer will see your ex is worth millions and will tell you what you want to hear in order to pad their pockets. Because of the inheritance and such the whole thing gets tricky, be very cautious of a lawyer that says you will win or your entitled to half of what he has.

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