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  • #31
    Thanks

    It's true I am petrified that he will "keep the kids" as he has said it to me before and sent me text messages that he was keeping them when he did have a visit with them in July.

    As per my children of course they would love a visit please I have no animosity to him I strictly see him as my children's dad. I know they would both benefit of course more love is more love they do feel sad since he left, although they are living excelling in school and sports and socially!!

    I do believe he is bluffing me and will cancel when I arrange personally I think he is bullshitting me because he feels guilty for booking another Vegas trip instead of seeing his kids.... My lawyer does not think the children flying out to see him is s good idea. Hopefully I will have more advice from her tomorrow

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    • #32
      How about suggesting he comes and picks up the children? He can drive or fly to pick them up, that way if he shows great, if not, the children are not stuck at an air port not knowing what to do?

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      • #33
        Exactly! Thanks Berber that's what I have offered him! To come to my moms or if that was too akward I agreed to have the children meet him somewhere less akward he is not liking that suggestion

        He wants the kids in his province

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        • #34
          Rinettteplayer- I was getting at he should be allowed to take them to his province, where his home is. If he picks them up, then obviously he is serious... if he doesn't pick them up, then they are not stranded.

          In your other thread titled "Alberta Bound" you were given great advice by HammerDad (I believe it was)...

          Has he provided a schedule for the children's return? Has he in any way implied that he may not return the children?

          Unless you have reliable evidence that he intends to withhold the children you don't have much to go on. If he has said he will fly them to Alberta on X date and return them home on Y date, than outside of your feelings for him, you have little reason not to take him at his word.

          From your last post it seems as if his working out west was/is common for your family. So him being out there isn't unusual.

          Anyway, unless you have some evidence to back up your feelings, you don't have good reason not to allow the children to go out there. Feelings and emotions are not evidence and are irrelevent in court.
          Like the above quote, unless you have evidence that he will NOT return the children, you don't have good reason. But by insisting he pick them up, at least you know they will not be stranded in Alberta.

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          • #35
            I"d be more worried the dude would simply put them in school in Alberta. If I recall correctly he has set up house with a woman with kids already and a few more wouldn't make much difference - just save him paying CS.

            Get an agreement and that way if they aren't at the airport on the 10th of January you would have something to fall back on. If your lawyer has a brain he will ensure it is drawn up and properly executed. Not difficult.

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            • #36
              I still feel it is blackmail to say...

              "You can only see the kids if you sign an agreement"
              "You can only see the kids if it is in Ontario"

              OP- send him an email stating that you think it is great he wants to see the children, however it would be best if he came to pick them up, rather than them flying by themselves. Ask when the return date/time will be, so you can assure you are available for their arrival.

              See what his response is... if he flips out about giving a date/time for return, then yes you have something to be worried about, but if he provides a date/time (I believe you stated he said the 1-10th), then I would go with that. An email response from him showing he is agreeing to return them on the 10th, is just as good as having him sign a letter stating he will return them.

              Asking him to sign a letter may be seen by him as intrusive. He doesn't make you sign letters when the children are with you and I am sure you would find that absolutely ridiculous if he requested that. Stating he must sign an agreement or stay in Ontario if he wants to see the kids, in my opinion, makes you seem unreasonable, but asking for general information (pick up time/day, return time/day) is a better, non-confrontational way to go.

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              • #37
                You'll have a hell of a lot of a bigger problem, and more expensive, if you have to fight him legally to get the kids back. Who cares if he finds it distasteful? He's not exactly Dad of The Year is he?

                Don't be naive. While we all want to believe the ex is just a super duper guy he's not.

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                • #38
                  The thing is...nothing is legal...they have NO agreement... OP already believes he is building a case against her for refusal of access...why would she add to that. Besides, any agreement they do sign, he could have thrown out on the basis that it was blackmail.

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                  • #39
                    ^all the more reason to keep the kids at home.
                    Some of us have been in the court system for several years now. It is expensive and extremely slow. It would be very easy for him to keep kids, put them in school and by the time she got anything done legally he'd be able to keep them. All he has to do is stall things.... in a few years the 12 yr old will be old enough to decide... and so on.

                    Get an agreement or live with the consequences.

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                    • #40
                      The father sounds like an a-hole - I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em. With his track record - there needs to be a very clear agreement in place, signed and notarized. I haven't gone back to the beginning of this story, but I thought OP had also moved to AB.

                      Anyone doling out advice here needs to put themselves in the mother's position. The primary caregiver. The one parent that hasn't f'd off on the kids.

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                      • #41
                        Agreed - If OP doesn't want to heed this advice she should call the local RCMP detachment in Alberta where her ex lives and have a nice little chat with them. Ask them what they will do for her if she agrees to kids going out there and he decides to keep them.... ask what does she have to have in place to ensure those kids come back to her. At the very least I would want to see proof of purchase of non-refundable/credit return airline tickets in each of the kids names.

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                        • #42
                          Ok, here is one way you could respond. Please keep in mind I am not a lawyer, just a parent that is also dealing with a hcp other party.

                          Tayken or others I am sure could suggest ways to tweak it:

                          Dear other party,

                          I have received your request to have the children from 1-10 Jan 2013.*

                          I have and will give this request considerable thought as I feel it is in our children's best interest to spend time over the holidays with you.

                          In order to ease my fears due to previous threats you have made of not returning the children and my concerns about the children traveling by airplane, the following would help considerably.

                          1) that you would willingly sign an agreement and have it witnessed by your legal councel, stating that you will return the children as specified.

                          2) that you will come to Ontario to personally pick up the children, or alternatively have a family member that the children and I are familiar with accompany them to and back from Alberta?

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                          • #43
                            Hanenough- I was under the impression the OP moved to Alberta as well, but if I read it correctly, she will be in Ontario for the Christmas vacation and offered for the father to pick the children up at her mother's house...

                            I started to look back but then couldn't be bothered to search through the numerous amounts of posts. I was under the impression she moved to Alberta and the children were in school and she was working?

                            Found it... http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-police-13409/

                            So if you now live in Alberta... what is your fear with him having the children in Alberta?
                            Last edited by Berner_Faith; 11-28-2012, 09:07 PM.

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post

                              i said yes to christmas as they will be in Ontario and he can pick them up from a relatives at 1.

                              he said he is wanting to fly all 3 of them to alberta their ages are 12,8,5? I would have to trust that he was their on the other side to pick them up? after he hasnt seen them since july? still he pays no support of any kind.
                              Looks like ringetteplayer and kids are in Ontario and he's in Alberta.

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by caranna View Post
                                Looks like ringetteplayer and kids are in Ontario and he's in Alberta.
                                According to her other post (listed above) she and the children moved to Alberta, unless her other post was untruthful? Maybe you care to clairify where you are actually living OP?

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