Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

User CP

New posts


  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

Thread Tools
Old 12-23-2016, 12:51 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,595
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road

Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post

Thank you so very much for your advise. I am having a rather horrible time. If I don't see my children Xmas day, it will be the very first time. I am struggling!!
I am heading to the courthouse tomorrow morning.

As for family, I haven't much and they aren't nearby. Friends are with their own families, so....................

I lost a sibling this past summer. It was very unexpected, so this alone is very painful.

As for the allegations, they have not been noted exactly. Rather, it has just been a statement made.

Worse Christmas of my entire life to date! I don't know how I am going to get through this!
you need to calm down a bit. Yes you may not see the kids but there are still other holidays etc. Its not like they are dead and you will never see them again. I have a friend who lost his dad one year ago today. I think his last Christmas was probably worse then yours. You still have hope of having a relationship with your kids, its not the end of the world.

You will get through it, just like lots of other people do when they don't have a loved one around. You just need to keep busy.
Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2016, 12:59 PM
LovingFather32's Avatar
LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,520
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point

I remember my first X-Mas, Easter, etc without my daughter (oh yea..she was abducted and hidden from me). Those were very hard times for me. Even at families at X-Mas I remember bringing all the stuff I was preparing for court and went to my mom's office to study how to get D5 back while everybody relaxed in the living room.
Yep .. my eyes were teary .. no sleep ... It almost ruined me.

Then I met somebody and they helped me so much. We went to the movies, cuddled, went for long walks, etc.

The sun WILL shine again. Keep your head up. This is temporary!
Reply With Quote
Old 12-31-2016, 08:13 PM
Aghast Aghast is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 79
Aghast is on a distinguished road

Where is the light. You sound like my ex. Your situation sounds a bit like my situation in reverse so I may be able to pass on some knowledge I have gained from my son's counselor.

Background: After my separation, my ex and our son endured a volatile relationship. She accused him of being violent and she the victim. We brought our son to a counselor to help him deal with the separation and hopefully adjust his behaviour. This is what I learned: My son was the victim of projection and controlling behaviour. It seems my ex was projecting her anger toward me, onto our son and then claiming to be the victim. This was also coupled by controlling behaviour. It was explained that my ex was having trouble with our son becoming independent and she was trying to suppress it and that was met with resistance.

So...Where is the light. Are you angry with the separation? Could this be affecting your relationship with your children? Your ex asked if you wanted them for the weekend and you had to hesitate. Are you maybe hesitating because it's your ex asking?

Are you trying to control your teens too much? They're not 5 anymore, they have their own ideas. Its time to pick your battles. They are growing independent. Allow them to make decisions with your guidance. Sometimes you know its the wrong decision but as long as its only results in short term loss, let them see it for themselves. Eventually they will see that you have been right and they will start considering your guidance. They will never see this if you force the decision on them.

Rules are a good thing. Contrary to what some say about children gravitating to the parent who lets them get away with things. I believe that children want rules, they want structure. The rules should be clear. Allow your teenagers to help design the punishment for breaking a rule. Don't get angry and then arbitrarily punish them. Allow for warnings, allow for leniency but, don't be a push over.

This is what I learned from my son's counselor and it seems to work for me.
Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Urgent Motion for Christmas Access dad93 Divorce & Family Law 3 11-01-2010 09:10 AM
tax related advise - urgent rohit Divorce & Family Law 1 05-29-2010 07:13 AM
need advise. greatmom Introductions 4 05-06-2009 10:21 PM
need professional advise chelsie Divorce & Family Law 6 06-19-2006 05:59 PM
Looking for advise (in preparation for first responce) Chopper Divorce Support 2 04-08-2006 08:12 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:20 AM.