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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 02-25-2020, 10:25 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Sorry Jackdivorce,
I noticed you private messaged me, and I don't often check there or respond there.

You mentioned your spouse is in "peace bond" with you, but I don't understand, are you still living together then, or not, as you mentioned somehow you and kids just don't get her angry lately, to keep her calm? The peace-bond was older then?

If actual abuse still happens, then that should not be happening in front of the kids.

I was just responding to the thread, to point out (and I still stand by that point), that CAS is never your ally. So make sure that if you do involve them, you have legit reasons.
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Old 02-26-2020, 06:51 AM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
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Location: Eastern Ontario
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Abba435 has a little shameless behaviour in the past

CAS is there to protect kids not parents.
They provide an essential service.
The Eligibility Spectrum is where you need to look.
Google it.
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Old 02-26-2020, 09:54 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Not to get on a tangent, but...

There is intent. And there is practice. lol.

Lots and lots of cases and situations where CAS did not protect the kids. Google it. Including mine, if the records were public - but they are not.
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Old 03-07-2020, 08:20 PM
alongjourney alongjourney is offline
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Originally Posted by Jackdivorce View Post
The cops saw the assault and also noticed that kids are in scene. They forwarded to the cas who interviewed me. Unfortunately due to in law pressure and kids missing mother.. I decided to support her in front of the cas...

Maybe I did a mistake but considering my kids were just 4 and 6.. ...

I hope post divorce she will be nice to the kids but I worry sole custody as there seems to be an understanding that family court prefers mother over father
Likely a really costly mistake. Do not let anything slip through. She assaults you? Call the cops. Make sure you have proof, might be worth having an audio recorder at all time on you when she is nearby. Or have your phone record audio. The kids shouldn't be exposed to that, and I'd bet that post divorce there may be a lot of alienation....
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Old 04-16-2020, 02:21 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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To involve the CAS or not. Interesting question. You do need to think things through as the other posters have suggested. It depends on the circumstances and the likely immediate consequences of failing to do so. I received a worried phone call from a teacher regarding what the children had disclosed their father had done (throwing plates at their heads). This call happened the same day he assaulted them at home in the morning before they went to school. I had the choice to call CAS myself or have the school do it . I called, otherwise my failure to do so when I knew what he’d done could have prompted them to remove the children from me as well. The kids were interviewed without my presence ( but with my consent) by police and CAS. Based solely on what the kids said, he was charged with 3 counts of assault and removed from the home.
Fast forward a few months later. I ask the criminal prosecutor if he can visit the kids and I supervise. Yes it was allowed.
Fast forward a few more months and we enter family court where his visits remain supervised. He wants unsupervised despite a large chunk of his brain missing from a previous catastrophic accident which is the root of his anger and impulse control issues and for which there is no cure.
CAS write a letter to the court strongly recommending supervised access continue and should he be ordered unsupervised they will intervene.
Supervised is ordered and he refuses to exercise his access, for 21/2 years. Meanwhile he has reported me umpteen times to CAS with made up nonsense. Each allegation is dismissed as unfounded.
He again motions for unsupervised access. CAS tell me they agree he presents an imminent danger to the children but are not willing to go to court to assist me as I am doing everything right. They tell me they are not there for parents who are doing everything right despite the fact the think he is dangerous.
So basically you’re damned if you don’t and damned once you do.

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 04-16-2020 at 02:26 PM.
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