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  • #16
    Originally posted by Nadia View Post
    Totally agree with you here and for the past five-six years we essentally have had a parallel parenting arrangement. But this therapy was about supporting our daughter by attending therapy with her seperately and to try and change "our" behavior so that a) she does not hold herself responsible for the parental conflict and b) that we do everything we can not to involve the child in the parental conflict.
    Key point is that you are stating "our behaviour" which is incredibly healthy way to view things. The challenge you are faced with is that the other person in the "our" statement probably does not see it the same way. They probably are worried (anxious) that the whole process is about *them* and not the child in question.

    Originally posted by Nadia View Post
    The parent-child counselling sessions would have been "parallel" so to speak, with the parents alternating the appointments. His participation in therapy with her would have been "his business." I think it is probably better described as "parent-child counselling" rather than "family therapy" and that is where the confusion is arising in this thread.
    Any way you want to butter the bread it still is going to be on one side of the bread and not both sides. Both parents have to be willing to take feedback and adapt to change. Are you prepared to hear from a therapist what you are doing wrong, how you are impacting the child. No parent is "perfect" and you will hear things you probably were not expecting and may upset you from the therapist.

    It isn't "his business" as in a clinical setting like this anything he says and anything you say regarding the matter is out in the open. This exposes both parents to the hurt and other issues that went unresolved in the relationship that lead to the divorce.

    Originally posted by Nadia View Post
    The paperwork was completed individually by each parent and both parents met with the counselling team by themselves (not together). Where he was given every opportunity to ask any questions/concerns about the process and to seek legal counsel before providing consent in writing. He provided consent and at the last minute he decided to withdraw it.

    I like the new model you have shared.
    If you want to be successful in the model then you may want to consider a collaborative divorce process and/or mediation-arbitration. Someone like Dr. Barbra Landau would be a much better choice, as an example, that could assist in the psychological issues but the legal issues facing the family and mediate and then arbitrate (if necessary) the proper solution.

    I have to admit that I wished all professionals in the "family law" world held both a clinical psychology degree and law degree similar to Dr. Landau. Mind you she a recipient of the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal.

    Welcome to Cooperative Solutions: A better way to resolve conflicts through mediation and training in Toronto and the GTA.

    Good Luck!
    Tayken

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    • #17
      Thanks for the information Tayken.

      He is a high achiever and has a public image that he has worked very (very) hard to build and sustain. He has never ever admitted or will ever admit he has done anything wrong or could have done something differently to better handle a situation. In his world he is the "good" guy that everyone loves to be around, the best "father" the kids could possibly have and will do whatever it takes to pursue "his" rights, because he is "right" and anyone who disagrees with him is wrong. At times his sense of reality has been distorted, but that has not disturbed him in the least.
      Last edited by Nadia; 10-15-2012, 10:54 AM.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Nadia View Post
        ** CENSOR **
        Mess/Blink:

        You may want to edit out the information regarding the other parent provided by Nadia. It contains information that could potentially be used to identify the other parent.

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        • #19
          Tayken - could you PM me with more specifics? Sorry, crazy busy today and can't read through all the posts. Thanks a bunch.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
            Tayken - could you PM me with more specifics? Sorry, crazy busy today and can't read through all the posts. Thanks a bunch.
            She fixed it. No worries. Not even going to mention what it was but, I am sure she figured it out from my quick waning.

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            • #21
              All sorted out. Thanks Nadia & Tayken

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