Hello Everyone,
I am looking for a word of advice and/or sharing your own experiences regarding what I can/should do. We seriously discussed separation with my husband a month ago and we both are in agreement that our marriage is "over" and we should separate and move on with our lives. We have two sons, ages 15 and 17. My husband said that I can go ahead and look for a real estate agent, lawyer, look into my financial situation, etc to get documents started. So I did. I had an agent evaluate our house, I applied for and was approved for a mortgage to pay my husband off, found a lawyer who would draft the Separation Agreement for us and when I told him that everything is in place and that he has time to the end of June (3 months) to make his arrangments to separate, he suddenly told me that he wants to stay here until both boy reach the age of majority, ie. 18. I was really surprized to hear this. He does not treat me well, he is emotionally very abusive especially to me and now that I have accepted that our marriage is irreparable (I am going to counselling regularly so this helped me to get to this point) I really would like for him to leave my life, I welcome hiim to stay in our sons life and I will always remain a faciliator for him and the boys. My question is: Is there anyhting I can do to move this separation along now? I fear that in two years he will find anohter reason not to leave. Knowing him for 22 years I think he is really scared to be on his own and it is simply more convenient for him to live with me because I always am there for him for any reason. I will not change, no matter how much he will abuse me emotionally (I tried hard ....). Can I just file a Petition for Divorce? Should I really wait those 2 more years (I am afraid that the value of our house will go up so much that I will not be able to pay him off). Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I am looking for a word of advice and/or sharing your own experiences regarding what I can/should do. We seriously discussed separation with my husband a month ago and we both are in agreement that our marriage is "over" and we should separate and move on with our lives. We have two sons, ages 15 and 17. My husband said that I can go ahead and look for a real estate agent, lawyer, look into my financial situation, etc to get documents started. So I did. I had an agent evaluate our house, I applied for and was approved for a mortgage to pay my husband off, found a lawyer who would draft the Separation Agreement for us and when I told him that everything is in place and that he has time to the end of June (3 months) to make his arrangments to separate, he suddenly told me that he wants to stay here until both boy reach the age of majority, ie. 18. I was really surprized to hear this. He does not treat me well, he is emotionally very abusive especially to me and now that I have accepted that our marriage is irreparable (I am going to counselling regularly so this helped me to get to this point) I really would like for him to leave my life, I welcome hiim to stay in our sons life and I will always remain a faciliator for him and the boys. My question is: Is there anyhting I can do to move this separation along now? I fear that in two years he will find anohter reason not to leave. Knowing him for 22 years I think he is really scared to be on his own and it is simply more convenient for him to live with me because I always am there for him for any reason. I will not change, no matter how much he will abuse me emotionally (I tried hard ....). Can I just file a Petition for Divorce? Should I really wait those 2 more years (I am afraid that the value of our house will go up so much that I will not be able to pay him off). Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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