New member to the site..hello everyone!

[representingself]

Thyroid Disease is most definitely hereditary.. and amphetamine use can be a trigger/aggrivator of the disease...

Knowing her brother has had Thyroid surgery just solidifies my opinion...

She REALLY needs to have her Thyroid checked ASAP... which is just a simple blood test.

I want to stress again, how devastating Thyroid Disease can be... it can truly destroy a person... inside and out! (And yet it's 100% treatable).

Google any of the terms I mentioned previously, (especially Graves Rage)...

Good Luck!

[lorlaman]

I'm going to pass this on to her brother and see if he does anything positive.

From where I sit, I have no contact with her.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this news.

Wish me luck.

[lorlaman]

At a minimum, you want to get a court order for sole custody of the children, and exclusive possession of the matrimonial home. You WILL have to buy her out or sell the home eventually.

You NEED to close/freeze any joint accounts yesterday. Cancel any joint credit cards, get her OFF your car insurance, things like that. Stop paying ANY bills in her name. For any household services (TV, electric, etc) switch them to YOU asap.

Practice RADIO SILENCE. You communicate with her ONLY via email, and even then ONLY about the children's health, education and religious issues.

Eventually you will want to have an income imputted to her (even if it's just minimum wage @ full time hours). She WILL owe you child support if you maintain greater than 61% custody. In this instance, given the documented abuse, you want to request sole custody with supervised access for her, pending successful completion of drug and anger management treatment programs.

If the CCTB is NOT in your name currently, you need to IMMEDIATELY file form RC66 with the CRA to get it changed.

Hey NB dad!
I have defacto custody now and possesion of the house since she cannot come near here. It will take about 6 months for her to get off the charges.

I tried to get her off the car insurance but the insurance company said they cannot do that without her approval.

Why is there an issue with household bills? I did close joint bank accounts long ago, phone is in my name but hydro is in both as is taxes and mortgage.

What is the CCTB?

[blinkandimgone]

CCTB = canadian child tax beneft.

[lorlaman]

Thank you so much for your help and honesty to all. I do see where I may have gone wrong and where I did.

I am really intrigued by the issue of the thyroid disease and passed the info to her brother the surety.

If any one can recommend any other means of getting through to her I would really appreciate it. Contact her lawyer with info? May help her assault charge.

I am trying my best to keep things for my girls as stable as possible. The best outcome would be that their mother gets the help she needs and comes back home. In all, the best for everyone only she cannot realize that.

At my age, 53, it would be difficult to start over and I am in no mood to start dating and introduce new step parents to my daughters from both sides. We were both loving and caring parents and we seldom fought if at all, but certainly never raised our hands to each other or the kids.

I know I need to take the steps to protect myself and my kids as described by NBDad. I have always tried to avoid involving the authorities and taking last resort steps. I believe the relationship could be salvaged, only now it would be much more difficult. Her brother acts more like Yosemite Sam with lawyers rather than trying to help his sister.

Yes I do love her despite the belief I have she may have had some affairs while away. I still want her back and so do the kids. I do not blame her at all and see she fell into this trap not by choice. Its just a sad chain of events.

I promised the kids I would do all I could to grant their wishes; try to get her help and salvage the relationship as well as giving the kids the option of visitation at their discretion.

I did Ok with the visitation but I can't fix the relationship. I did send her a letter through legal counsel offering her the door open if she chose to get help and it was effective. Along with the condition we get marriage counseling. If she did not accept within 15 days, I would pursue custody and terminate the relationship. She replied next day by calling the real estate agent (incidentally her uncle so there is no conflict of interest on my side) and having the price dropped on the house by $30K, of course with my approval.

The house has had little to no action and there has not been a single offer. It was originally listed $90k below market because of the mess and condition. Now its listed ridiculously low and a bargain to a handyman who can clean/fix and flip it.

I don't have any extra real cash except a few $000 and the mortgage is already grossly high but if she is going to walk away from the sale of the house with a mere pittance, I am better off taking on more debt and keeping it.

On the issue of SS, I was able to retire 2 years ago with full pension and if she is going to hit me on my 90K a year salary, I will sign my retirement papers and reduce it to about 40. Not sure what SS amounts I will be looking at either way.

Thanks again to all....

[tugofwar]

Thyroid Disease is most definitely hereditary.. and amphetamine use can be a trigger/aggrivator of the disease...

Knowing her brother has had Thyroid surgery just solidifies my opinion...

She REALLY needs to have her Thyroid checked ASAP... which is just a simple blood test.

I want to stress again, how devastating Thyroid Disease can be... it can truly destroy a person... inside and out! (And yet it's 100% treatable).

Google any of the terms I mentioned previously, (especially Graves Rage)...

Good Luck!

Can someone's prescription for thyroid related problems also contribute to these problems if the levels are either to high or too low?

[blinkandimgone]

Yup. Fatigue, depression, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, mood swings etc can all be triggered by thyroid imbalance. Did you know that 80% of people with thyroid disorders are unaware? Various symptoms are often written off as coincidence or normal occurences.

The thyroid foundation of canada has a very good website that can explain a lot about symptoms/results of thyroid imbalance and different thyroid diseases:

Thyroid Foundation of Canada

ETA: when my ex doesn't take his meds regularly he could easily sleep for days at a time, if my daughter isn't consistent with taking her meds she sleeps a lot and gets really REALLY moody.