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  • end exclusive possession of house?

    The court gave me exclusive possession of the house over a year ago, but since then my youngest has decided to live with his father and I am mostly alone in our huge family home.

    It has been for sale for six months with several price drops and zero interest. I am carrying all the expenses on a very large house and I am feeling like I will be trapped in it forever. I find it very depressing being here amongst all the family memories and the family has all left.

    Is there any way to end exclusive possession and get my ex to share the expenses of the house so I can move out and on ?

  • #2
    talk to your ex to see if he wants to move back into it while you find someplace smaller?

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    • #3
      If you fought to get exclusive possession, and all of the other stuff is now settled in terms of property division, and part of the deal is that the house equity (and it's costs) are all yours, then you are pretty much stuck with it.

      You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. You got what you wanted, and can't turn around and force your ex to start paying costs on something that you fought to get.

      Comment


      • #4
        My ex is happy living in his gf's house so wouldn't want to return.

        I didn't 'fight' for exclusive possession, my lawyer said I had to accept it as my ex walked out on the kids and I. Nothing has been settled yet, but he gets half the house. I am just fed up I was left with it all and can't move on. I should mention it was interim exclusive possession and at the time our son was living with me. I am probably just stuck with it, but thought I'd ask...
        Last edited by Betsy; 09-05-2014, 05:05 PM. Reason: typo

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Betsy View Post
          My ex is happy living in his gf's house so wouldn't want to return.

          I didn't 'fight' for exclusive possession, my lawyer said I had to accept it as my ex walked out on the kids and I. Nothing has been settled yet, but he gets half the house. I am just fed up I was left with it all and can't move on. I should mention it was interim exclusive possession and at the time our son was living with me. I am probably just stuck with it, but thought I'd ask...
          you didnt have to accept exclusive possession but that is in the past. i would still ask the ex if he wants to move into and take over the bills of the house. You gotta start somewhere.

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          • #6
            Of course you can go - although it would be courteous to give the ex 30 or 60 days notice that you are vacating. Perhaps it will sell in that time anyway.

            Go ahead and make some plans, if you can financially cover the next move. I'd recommend you stop covering 100% of the capital expenses - particularly property taxes and mortgage payments.

            Of more concern, that you haven't addressed I see - why would you permit your youngest to decide where he lives? How old is this child?
            Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
              Of course you can go - although it would be courteous to give the ex 30 or 60 days notice that you are vacating. Perhaps it will sell in that time anyway.

              Go ahead and make some plans, if you can financially cover the next move. I'd recommend you stop covering 100% of the capital expenses - particularly property taxes and mortgage payments.

              Of more concern, that you haven't addressed I see - why would you permit your youngest to decide where he lives? How old is this child?
              She would still be responsible for half the mortgage property taxes ect. Couple this with rent it might be more expensive then waiting till the house sells.

              More important then why the child is living with the ex is she paying child support?


              Another option might be to negotiate a buyout from her ex although this may entail an offer that is below what you might want.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Betsy View Post

                It has been for sale for six months with several price drops and zero interest. I am carrying all the expenses on a very large house and I am feeling like I will be trapped in it forever. I find it very depressing being here amongst all the family memories and the family has all left.
                I can understand how you feel - being stuck with a large home is somewhat like having an albatros wrapped around your neck. Homes aren't selling as fast as they used to in this economy.

                You do have a few options here, you could get the EX to agree to listing the home at a lower price and hopefully this would get it sold. Perhaps you could take out a small equity loan to buy you some time.

                If the division of assets has not yet been settled, keep proof of all your expenses and get your lawyer to offset these numbers by 50% so that eventually you would be reimbursed by your Ex's share of the sale.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hmmmm...

                  http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-exs-gf-14885/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    What the heck is wrong with people lately? The OP says the "court awarded her", but she claims she "didn't fight for it" and that her lawyer said "I have to accept"....ya.....no.

                    If it looks like crap, smells like crap, it likely is crap.

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                    • #11
                      I don't see anything 'off' in what I am asking. I think its fair to ask, and if I am truly stuck with it that is okay too, I just wanted to know if there was any case of stopping an exclusive possession.
                      We have had three price drops, everyone has moved on and I am still stuck with the house until it sells and the equity is divided. My ex is not at all interested in buying me out or moving in to it. He knows the house is an albatross. I don't think I get any of my expenses reimbursed as the nature of exclusive possession as I understand it is that I am responsible for all the costs (maintenance, mortgage, taxes etc)

                      I didn't want to be stuck with the house, my lawyer and the judge thought it was in my best interests to have exclusive possession. In retrospect I should have fought that as I would have had more privacy and security by moving out of the family home and into my own space. So far exclusive possession has only been a disadvantage for me.

                      Our son is 13, he was considered old enough to decide where he wanted to live.

                      Oh well. There is always something to learn in this process.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Serene View Post
                        What the heck is wrong with people lately? The OP says the "court awarded her", but she claims she "didn't fight for it" and that her lawyer said "I have to accept"....ya.....no.

                        If it looks like crap, smells like crap, it likely is crap.
                        No kidding - it does seem like this forum has had a lot fakers lately ... I should make it a point to check out new members other threads before participating. Either that or inquiring about the weather in Nigeria?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Betsy View Post
                          I don't see anything 'off' in what I am asking. I think its fair to ask, and if I am truly stuck with it that is okay too, I just wanted to know if there was any case of stopping an exclusive possession.
                          We have had three price drops, everyone has moved on and I am still stuck with the house until it sells and the equity is divided. My ex is not at all interested in buying me out or moving in to it. He knows the house is an albatross. I don't think I get any of my expenses reimbursed as the nature of exclusive possession as I understand it is that I am responsible for all the costs (maintenance, mortgage, taxes etc)

                          I didn't want to be stuck with the house, my lawyer and the judge thought it was in my best interests to have exclusive possession. In retrospect I should have fought that as I would have had more privacy and security by moving out of the family home and into my own space. So far exclusive possession has only been a disadvantage for me.

                          Our son is 13, he was considered old enough to decide where he wanted to live.

                          Oh well. There is always something to learn in this process.
                          It would have been prudent if your lawyer had thought about who paid for what before suggesting you accept exclusive possession of the home.

                          In my case the SA stipulates that I have EP, though the EX has to pay his share of the bills until the house is put on the market and eventually sold. Exclusive possession DOES NOT mean that you must pay all the expenses associated with the home - it means that you usually have to pay the utilities (since you are the one living there).

                          If you are both owners, you both must pay mortgage, taxes, insurance and repairs. Your lawyer is way off on this one ..........

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                          • #14
                            I had no idea...good to know, thanks, I will look into this!

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Betsy View Post
                              I had no idea...good to know, thanks, I will look into this!
                              Betsy, do you already have your separation agreement?

                              Comment

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