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  • Locating ones address

    LV wrote: "If it was me I would definitely search the MTO database and other government databases and clarify for an address change of the individual on their vehicle, driver's license and perhaps OHIP card".

    OMG LV, your giving me a heart attack. I am in the process of moving so my ex wont be able to find us. My lawyers know where I am but I use their address for any legal issues and do not put my address on any court papers, his lawyers are even fine with this too. Judges also have not yet had an issue with it. So I am not hiding from any legal issues. I also have protection orders for both myself and children.

    Do you really think it is that easy to find us through drivers licences, or other government databases??? We are just trying to feel safe in a new home.

    Sorry to steal your thread jq55, but this really concerns me.

  • #2
    Hi Grace,

    good to see you again

    I see where your coming from and your definite concern. No one should have to live like that.

    I don't think just anyone off the street could find you as a certain amount of background information has to be known about you personally such as dob's, driver's license number, vehicle plate numbers - VIN numbers make model etc to obtain other information.

    You never really know what information these government and other data bases hold and what background information is required to get access to same. I do suspect they would hold the basics. We are in the information age. OMG. look at a blackberry - portable wireless net access to vast array of data bases at your finger tips.

    Alot of Ontario vehicle bureaus for driver's license renewals and license plates, vehicle registrations are run by contractors under tender from the provincial government who pay their staff bare minimum amounts. Who secures these networks. Are these employees bonded, security checks etc


    Some examples:

    The other thing is just about anyone can obtain an online credit report with someone's name sin and dob and or a driver's license number.

    see this

    https://www.creditprofile.transunion...?bn=24&kw=1013

    https://www.creditprofile.transunion...ue&addBPA=true


    and through Equifax - which appears no driver's license number is required

    https://www.econsumer.equifax.ca/ca/main?lang=en

    https://www.econsumer.equifax.ca/ca/main

    Everyone has to be cautious about Identity theft and practise due diligence. I personally do not release personal information unless it is absolutely required and never over the phone.

    Another example is reverse telephone number lookup - clearly displays address with just a phone number - Be careful about this unless you have an unlisted number or cell phone.

    http://findaperson.canada-411.ca/reverse_phone


    Provincial Campgrounds - Database of clients with contact info. How secure and whom has access to these?


    If it was me in your situation, I would utilize a PO box for all mail. Change bank account address's, credit cards, income tax, utilities, insurance policies etc to this PO box address. Everything that requires an address; Use the PO Box. I think the cost of such is about 12/month. Its not a guarantee but the only one that may hold your new address might be the post office.

    Also any institution or agency that requires an up to date address for the children such as school, hospital, medical records etc use the PO Box as the individual may access to such records. Advise said institution the reason why if asked why PO Box ie - restraining protection order etc.



    I hope this helps


    lv
    Last edited by logicalvelocity; 03-14-2007, 04:15 AM.

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't want to scare you any further Grace, but I had an Ex who went to jail more times then I can count for stalking and harassment and death threats and hiring someone to "hunt me down". I changed my name, moved and utilized a PO Box, if they want to find you they will. I suggest an unlisted number and the PO Box of course as this makes it that much harder, especially if the PO Box is in a main city centre not close to your home.

      Just keep the police informed, that is your best defence. I didn't rely on them as I always felt that the guilty could manipulate the laws to protect themselves. But I realized the police are people too, if they know your history and they understand what is happening, they will be there for you. I live in a very rural area, and you would "never" see a police car. When I informed them, and after the first call for help, I always saw a car every now and again drive by my home. And I live on a dead end road to boot. That's my advice.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Grace!

        So glad to see you back on the forums. I've been thinking about you and how you are managing. I'm only 6 months into the full physical separation and tough times are at hand. But better than living in that toxic environment any day.

        LV is right as to the staff at license issuing offices -- not unionized civil servants but low-wage contract employees. It's an insecure world.

        I know the schools etc must already have your paperwork on file. I've found informing them of my situation has been quite beneficial, even though I don't have supporting documents. Knowing is half the battle!

        I find our local cops quite sensitive to DV issues. Keeping them up to date really isn't a bad idea.

        You are a strong woman, Grace. I admire your diligence in making a better life for your kids and inspiring me to do the same.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks for all your responsives. I do appreciate all your insight. I'm a better arm chair quarter back than moderator, and just want to be able to lurk on this site, but it seems it has caught national attention. I have been ask by several organizations to comment.

          So here is your opportunity, at my expensive, go for it, they are listening.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Grace,

            I have been a member since the very begining and have read pretty near every post ever posted. I have on a rare occasion posted and I believe you have replied to one of my posts in the past to share your knowledge and opinion, which by the way was appreciated.

            I am very well aware that you were a mod and the circumstances regarding you no longer being so.

            What I am totally confused about is your latest post. What are you talking about exactly, " national organiztions interested" feel free" so on......

            Comment


            • #7
              Ooops, that post was written late at night and I agree didn't make much sense. Let me try and explain again, late at night. There is currently a study underway at a large Ottawa University, they are looking for input. There findings will be sent to the Federal Government. They are looking for what I call "victims" of the system. I believe their findings will have an impact on future legislation nationally.

              Personally for me, as long as they are willing to change our names, I am up for it. I can't believe I was married for 15 years, but going on 5 years in the court system to litigate it. The laws need to change.

              They are monitoring a number of forums, as well as other sources and looking for input. They contacted me based on my posts. I do not know how many others on this or other boards have been contacted, they are keeping that info confidential, understandable. I do remember telling Decent Dad & Jeff one time, everyone should write their stories and compile it into a book. I hope its along the same lines.

              And btw, how are you doing??? Good to hear from you.

              Comment


              • #8
                We would love tobe a part of this study, plese provide details

                Comment


                • #9
                  I would also love to share our experience with the family 'justice' system in any way that might be influential to change.

                  Amen to change!!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Amen to change!!!!
                    I'll "hail mary" that

                    lv

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Just sick...

                      How awful it must be to have to change your name and all to hide from an abuser. I can't even imagine how bad that really is and what you all are going through. Sick is the only thought I can put to this. With all the wonders of modern society we still have to protect ourselves from the thugs out there.

                      My best to all of you sufferers who have been victimized and continue to be victimized by ex's and the unjust system.

                      I am extremely glad to hear of a study being done, not sure if I mentioned this before but I am writing a book about my learning experience in family law, started as therapy and has turned into a passion.

                      I recently came accross an old university book on child psycology, opened it to a dog eared page and read children will often perform badly at tasks they do not like in the hopes that their poor performace the first time will prevent them from having to repeat the task in the future or something to that effect. I immediatly thought of a family court judge thinking, if I screw this up badly enough perhaps I won't have to do it again.

                      It is time for drastic changes especially in the areas of children's and victim's rights. Far to much crap has been allowed to go on within the system for far too long.

                      Best of luck to all and good health

                      P.S. Welcome back Grace

                      Duped

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Duped
                        How awful it must be to have to change your name and all to hide from an abuser. I can't even imagine how bad that really is and what you all are going through. Sick is the only thought I can put to this.
                        Not easy, imagine you’ve done everything to hide, IE the name change etc.
                        You want to look for a job, what experience do you write on a resume? What references do you use? This new name is not associated to any work experience, not related to an education, and how can u=you use a reference if they’ve never heard of or had that person in their employ?? See where I’m going with this.

                        Even going back to school to start over, was difficult as then I had to provide secondary and post secondary studies, this person didn’t exist before.

                        I wouldn’t wish it on my enemies, not even my ex.
                        It was a huge struggle in and of itself, but I did it, (knock on wood) and I have a new degree and a well paying job an am finally self supported

                        Talk about a book, my story would be one heck of a thriller!
                        Best of luck to you on your writing adventure.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Your an inspiration...

                          FL_Needs_To_Change,

                          You took adversity and turned it into a rose good for, others should at least be able to see that it can be done as they struggle with their unfortunate situations.

                          Thanks for sharing, thanks for the kind words, and thanks for the info.

                          Duped

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            For your amusement...

                            This should give everyone a good chuckle,

                            Back when this whole thing started August 12, 2005 I was cutting my own hair with clippers, yup clean off, it was a weekly ritual of face and head. No attachments, just the clippers on my scalp.

                            Following my first court appearance which was my first taste of just how unfair the system is, I vowed that I would not cut my hair until I personally witnessed evidence of fairness in the family law system.

                            Yesterday during a spring cleaning stint I came across my clippers, the blades were all rusted up, not even the screws would budge when I tried to take them out.

                            As I looked up I saw my reflection in the mirror, my hair now down to past my shoulders, never even been trimmed is silky smooth, shinny and naturally curly.

                            I pulled one hair out and got a 30cm ruler out, uncurled and stretched out strait, the hair is 37cm long.

                            It has been 21 months since my hair was cut last, 37cm in 21 months, or 21 cm per year.

                            Everyone tells me to get a hair cut, so I tell them my story, and then they tell me to let it grow.

                            What you can take from this is that you can measure just how unfair the system is with a little creativity. For me it is 21cm / year unfair. <grin>

                            Hope you get at least a smile from this.

                            P.S. I expect that by the time I do personally witness fairness in the family law system, I will be hauling my hair around with me in a trailer.

                            Best wishes

                            Duped

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              LOL, hauling your hair around in a wheel barrow!!!
                              Thanks for the laugh. But so true!!!

                              Life is never fair, and I say this with conviction. Every fence I have climbed makes me a stronger person. I am positive that I am the person I am today because of the person I was yesterday, last week, last year,....

                              FL

                              Comment

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