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  • I need to see my daughter

    Hello. Brand spanking new here. I need some help. I love my daughter more than anything else in this world. As soon as I get home she runs into my arms and I played with her for hours. She was very much a daddy's girl. I haven't seen or heard from her since Feb. 15th/14.

    The day of we went sledding all day (pics), rolled around tickling each other. Big hugs and kisses by me ex before I went to work. I called around 7:00pm to say goodnight to kidlet(Daughter). No answer. I continued to call and became worried, raced home and found my ex and her gone with most the stuff. I called the police. They were expecting it and told me to get a lawyer. I was flabbergasted. Got a lawyer. Long story short there were massive, grusome false allegations of domestic violence. She contacted Partner Assault, got herself in a shelter (2 bedroom townhouse now) and is in hiding. My lawyer tracked down her lawyer and filed an application for custody/access. "Sole Custody". I know this is irrational but she's lost it. I don't know what she's capable of now. She responded with domestic violence, drinking, heavy marijuana use, etc. All completely false and baring no truth. She said I passed out later in the evening from the combination of alcohol and marijuana giving her and kidlet"quiet time". Im a magician and have chat logs in a magi hat room every night until at least 10:00PM. kidlet's bedtime was 7:00pm. I have urine tests revealing no marijuana/alcohol in my system. I have printed out gym attendance records showing I took care of my body, not abusing it. I can't get over she would do this.
    Unfortuneatly my lawyer charged in excess of $4000,00 for one months work and failed to submit my financial statement and response among other things. I had to let him go. Self-repping now. The deadline passed and now the ex's lawyer wont give consent or respond to any attempts for simple access. Do I file a motion for late filing before my CC on May 22nd? Ive documenting all the attempts for access. The Ex made one attempt, offering that my grandparents drive from another city to do the exchange and supervision for one hour. They do not drive. The ex knew this. She set up an impossible situation. All my texts to ex since abduction have been civil attempts to communicate for kidlet's sake. (Do you need money?, Do you need groceries?, Can we do this nicely for kidlet's s sake? Can I just hear her voice? I just want to have a mature, adult conversation for kidlet's s sake...etc. All ignored. I miss my daughter more than anything an Im not sure how long I can keep this up.
    My mother and I began reorganizing furniture and pictures after ex left and found damage, holes, etc. Great! Looks like she planted this and probably took pics for her case.
    I have videos of bedtime routine where Im teaching kidlet to read (I taught her how to read a childrens book at 2 years old). I have videos of us dancing, singing and playing at the park. Can I submit videos as evidence? I hope so. Speaks much louder than words.

    Will I get some kind of order to get access to kidlet at my first CC on May 22nd? I will not have seen her for 3 months at that point. Im her hero. She was ripped away from everything she knew. The ex is changing status quo by force. What do I need to do for access? Please. To my knowledge Im the applicant to I have an upperhand. But she's painted herself as quite the victim here.

    Motives? We were in the midst of discussing kidlet going to school and having dual income (her getting a job). She's always detested the thought of working. She was just ignoring the topic lately. Now I see why. She wants money from all ends with no work. She also wants to relocate to another city with her family.

    Please tell me how I can see my daughter. Im flexible. I can go in to the CC with minute of settlement. I want to cooperate. I want to settle ASAP. I don't want kidlet going through this.
    Last edited by blinkandimgone; 05-16-2014, 09:56 AM.

  • #2
    The family court judge won't even blink an eye to the domestic violence accusations as "the poor xxx was physically, mentally, verbally and financially abused" is standard sentence used by both parties in any cases.

    It seems even the police didn't charge you, so you can remove this bs. from the equation, it won't have any weight.

    The fact that she kidnapped the child will have a bearing, if this is the case any semi-decent layer would be able to make the child return into the matrimonial house. But if you wait, the the idiot "status quo" starts settling in and you will have an uphill battle.

    I don't think the family court judge will watch any videos, if your ex recorded that, the police will watch those video. If she just made the story up about the domestic violence she wouldn't have make holes in the house to record something which didn't happen, but what do we know?

    Comment


    • #3
      1. First of all read this forum upwards and backwards - the advice, experience and opinions of the people here are gold,

      2. You are about to enter the DIRTY DISGUSTING world of family law where maximizing CS and SS by witholding children, lying and creating status quos are what gets you victory. You are at war now and you need to plan, strategize your way to victory. Read my post below to get you in the right mindframe.

      http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...26/#post167696

      3. Now you've read that, BELIEVE it, gear up, and fight for what you want.

      The road is going to be hard but if you fight hard enough, bait her out, turn her errors into opportunities you'll still be a father at the end of this story and not some poor EoW sap.

      I was where you were once, my ex filed to have me thrown out of the house and I've fought my way back to 39% custody and should be shared in a year from now. Be smart, be cunning, be calm, educate yourself and your little baby will still be calling you daddy at the end of this!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by BitHunter View Post
        The family court judge won't even blink an eye to the domestic violence accusations as "the poor xxx was physically, mentally, verbally and financially abused" is standard sentence used by both parties in any cases.

        It seems even the police didn't charge you, so you can remove this bs. from the equation, it won't have any weight.

        The fact that she kidnapped the child will have a bearing, if this is the case any semi-decent layer would be able to make the child return into the matrimonial house. But if you wait, the the idiot "status quo" starts settling in and you will have an uphill battle.

        I don't think the family court judge will watch any videos, if your ex recorded that, the police will watch those video. If she just made the story up about the domestic violence she wouldn't have make holes in the house to record something which didn't happen, but what do we know?
        The police didn't charge me. Never a call to 911 or any concern of any kind of domestic violence for all 8 years of our relationship. Yet I still feel this will be her case with manufactured evidence. I literally dropped to my knees when I found the damage. Surely she planted it and photographed it before she left to say see, look at the violence I endured. Perhaps she may go the mental abuse route. No clue.

        The "idiot" status quo you speak of won't hold weight thus far given it's a "forced" status quo on her part with abrupt abduction and her complete denial of access. Her plan is probably to have me react negatively before the case conference. She knows Im a psychology major and a behaviorist. I teach self-regulation skills to my clients every day and take pride using them in my life as well. I will never do anything rash. All Ive done is been civil and asked to handle this nicely like mature adults for our daughters sake. She's been the only aggressor thus far by unilaterally removing our daughter from our home and ignoring everything. After she left she went into my account which is not joint (knew my password) and stole money via an e-mail money transfer. My mother talked me out of calling fraud division saying we weren't like her and my daughter's mother shouldn't have a criminal record. She texted her suggesting she put the money back. A day later my ex returned the money. In her response to my application she wrote that my mom was harassing her through texts and made no mention of the theft. Just vicious.
        Since she said I passed out from addictions before our daughter went to bed you "don't" think the judge will watch bedtime routine on video of me teaching my daughter how to read and saying our goodnight's and I love you's. As mentioned, Im a magician and also spent time in magic chat rooms later in the night. I have all this evidence to disprove her. I documented a lot. At parks, sledding, singing dancing. In my eyes we were doing a fantastic job. MD is smart, funny and very happy, always with a smile. This whole thing is putrid.
        Last edited by blinkandimgone; 04-14-2014, 05:20 AM. Reason: removed name

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Links17 View Post
          1. First of all read this forum upwards and backwards - the advice, experience and opinions of the people here are gold,

          2. You are about to enter the DIRTY DISGUSTING world of family law where maximizing CS and SS by witholding children, lying and creating status quos are what gets you victory. You are at war now and you need to plan, strategize your way to victory. Read my post below to get you in the right mindframe.

          http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...26/#post167696

          3. Now you've read that, BELIEVE it, gear up, and fight for what you want.

          The road is going to be hard but if you fight hard enough, bait her out, turn her errors into opportunities you'll still be a father at the end of this story and not some poor EoW sap.

          I was where you were once, my ex filed to have me thrown out of the house and I've fought my way back to 39% custody and should be shared in a year from now. Be smart, be cunning, be calm, educate yourself and your little baby will still be calling you daddy at the end of this!!!
          Very motivating post with the war analogy. Sure does feel like war. A blitz that blindsided me, leaving me unconscious in the trenches. I can hear the bombs going off, my eyelids are slowly opening and she's now light years ahead of me. She's dotted her i's and crossed her t's for months. She's done her research on how to get her way and etched it in to her brain.

          Okay, so I can do nothing until the case conference except keep documenting the ignored requests for access right? No motions can be made. Well, except the one I have to make for "late filing" due to an inept lawyer and her counsel not providing consent. Im self-representing and worried that her lawyer will dance circles around me in court. Do I file a motion for another date to refute her claims? Do I ask for a motion for interim custody? Do I walk in with very fair minutes of settlement? What is the best way to ensure I se my daughter? Im the "applicant" which I heard is very rare in a case like this. My little's girl's my whole life. A piece of me is missing and I need it back. I feel like pirates have kidnapped her for ransom.

          Comment


          • #6
            To my knowledge I cant do anything to see my daughter until the case conference but prepare. Document every denial of access. How do I se her the fastest? File a motion for interim custody at the cc? Enter with reasonable minutes of settlement and pray she will just cooperate? The judge WILL give some sort of access right? Due to my inept previous lawyer I have to also file a motion for "late filing" before the cc as her counsel will not give consent. Basically ignores everything. Im hesitant to serve anything in person because I googled him and read subjective reports of him grabbing men by the collars and instigating fights. That's all I need right now. Every time I mention his name I get "ooohh .. him .. oh boy". He's her legal aid.

            So, how do I see my daughter the fastest in the cc?
            and how do I get this guy served and to stop ignoring everything? Ive sent faxes and kept receipt's, e-mails, mail .. you name it.

            Comment


            • #7
              You should ask the moderators to remove your daughter's name from this thread. People going through litigation have used public forum posts against the other party so be careful not to use names in the future.

              Comment


              • #8
                I just went through the thread and can't see where I mentioned any names. Did I miss something?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Don't you know that little girl is your child too? You both have equal rights to her and now she has removed the child from the home. Go and get her and bring her home and lock the door and call the police if the mother comes a knocking . She does not live there any more and will be breaking the law if she scares you. It is supposed to both ways.

                  And you mean to tell me you have not even had a restraining order yet. I got one for just sternly asking my father in law to tone down the shit he was telling my kids.

                  You go and get that little girl before you here the word ESQUESING.
                  meaning to agree with the situation by allowing it to continue.

                  Damn you I know how you feel.. My ex took off to another country for 5 months with my life my children. I needed an international court to to have them returned.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Also I self rept as I learned very early that lawyers care nothing about you or our children. They are also are paid before performance and how many jobs do you know that do that.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                      I just went through the thread and can't see where I mentioned any names. Did I miss something?
                      I removed it.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi New Poster,

                        1. Click on my name "Tayken".

                        2. Click on the link "All Threads Started by Tayken".

                        3. Read and read and read...

                        Start with this one:

                        http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...ase-law-16809/

                        Then this one:

                        http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...tus-quo-15936/

                        Especially this one:

                        http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...ily-law-15139/

                        This one too:

                        http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...sidence-14033/

                        See the theme? All of your questions have been answered already and in great detail.

                        Good Luck!
                        Tayken
                        Last edited by Tayken; 04-14-2014, 08:59 AM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I know I have rights to her. Her address is all over the court documents. But 1. Shes asking for a restraining order at the cc against me for both daughter and her (again to restrict access/eliminate me from her life) 2. She would scream more false allegations if I showed up then I "would" be charged for sure and. 3. Unlike her I care about the emotional state of my daughter. I mean the ex isnt just going to hand her over. Her quest to maintain this forced status quo and deny any access.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                            I know I have rights to her. Her address is all over the court documents. But 1. Shes asking for a restraining order at the cc against me for both daughter and her (again to restrict access/eliminate me from her life) 2. She would scream more false allegations if I showed up then I "would" be charged for sure and. 3. Unlike her I care about the emotional state of my daughter. I mean the ex isnt just going to hand her over. Her quest to maintain this forced status quo and deny any access.
                            Your daughter has a right to know and understand that she has a father who loves her and who would never hurt her. It is NOT better for you to back away and let her mother have her.

                            You need to spend time with your daughter. Supervised if it must be, but you need that time. More importantly your daughter NEEDS that time. And your daughter needs to know, from you, that you will fight for her.

                            You need to get that on paper. You need to get in front of a judge and lay it all out. As others have mentioned judges commonly see false acusations and can and will punish those who make them.

                            Some people can self rep, but you may want to consult a lawyer, but do not leave it too late, the longer the status quo, the more damage your ex can do to your daughter.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Case Conference is informal the Judge wants the parties to agree to items to avoid Trial so don't expect anything (if your ex is hostile). Also your going to want to settle this and will be vulnerable to making an agreement you may regret. Custody/Access is a basic right.
                              Your ex abandoned the marriage and it seems your maintianing the child's nice stable home (with support of family and friends) it's your right to split custody never give that right up (as a starting point for sole).
                              Get into Court Mediation Services immediately. Sign up and get them to chase your "ex" around to signup also for mediation, this will be so effective to use in all future Conferences, Judges want to see people resolve things and if your ex rejects mediation Judges get ticked off (after Conference's) and make notes for the next Judge to read the biggest red flag is "rejected mediation".....document all attempts to get mediation (dates, times) mediation services will also give you a notice of there own attempts... and bring it to your CC... at the Settlement Conf all the judge wants to know is has mediation been done if not, he asks your ex why not and will she enter into it.. if she says no to both Settlement Conf ends right there...Trial Management Conf the judge leans sooo hard on person not wanting mediation...at Trial your Golden having exhausted all attempts to resolve ... hope this helps

                              Comment

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