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  • changing support

    I have been separated from my ex since March '08. The final separation agreement was made in August '08. My lawyer quit on me as she didn't want me to sign the agreement because that agreement ( that he made) was all in his favor. I had no choice, I ran out of money to take him to court and it was one day before I had to close the deal on my new house. The previous home owners were going to sue me if I didn't close on time. Also, school was starting and my kids had no clue where they were going to live...long story. Now my problem is this...he has made 2 ammendments to that agreement already and the third attempt to make an ammendment is that he will be making 30% less on his income for this year. He's lying and we will have to do a forensic accounting investigation to find out where his money is going. He is a VP of a huge company, he make ALOT of money, has 2 cars, one being a 2 seater convertable sports car...I have three kids to support 8,15,17. I have stayed at home for 18 years, as he travelled for a living. Now I find that money is so tight. He decided to pay me 30% less support as of June without any legal changes to our agreement. My lawyer said he can't do that, it's breach of contract. My ex feels that he can make his own law. Can he do that??? I sent him to the FRO for the lack of support that he's not paying and outstanding kids extracurricular activities, but I was told that it could take up to 6 months to get a case worker to help me out. Can anyone tell me what I can do in the meantime? He's so manipulative with our kids constantly putting them down and talking bad about me to them. The separation agreement says that he has to have the kids one week in July and one week in August for the summer...his response...no! it's not good for him...What father doesn't want to spend time with his kids in the summer.. My lawyer said if he forfits his time with his kids this summer, he'll have to pay me for those two weeks. My ex thinks if he was to take them for those two weeks (which he won't) that he doesn't have to pay me any support. Any reason not to give me money..He just doesn't get it, he's hurting the kids. I payed for my daughter to go for driving lessons, he chose not to pay even though I asked him for his 70% share. She also was diagnosed 6 months ago with a brain tumor...he doesn't call to see how she's feeling or doesn't join in on the doctors appointments...I deal with everything by myself. He just goes through the motions to look like he cares but it all boils down to this...he doesn't want to give me a penny and wants me to suffer.....which I still can't believe for what, he has had affairs for the past 11 years ( I stood by him) he didn't want to be married anymore or deal with the kids..He got out and now He won't even support us properly...what happened to the law for "us" screwed over moms. I have a lawyer, he has a lawyer but everything is taking forever..He hired "Ontario best" family lawyer and if I persue anything, I have to pay for his legal fee's..again, taking money away from his children..he wants me poor and living on the streets...can someone give me some advice or some support, I really need it.

  • #2
    wow...I feel for you...

    here are just a couple of thoughts...

    1. You may have to reconsider the extra curricular activities of the children and the household expenses...if you are counting on his money for survival...he can make this very difficult. Although I had court orders coming out the wazoo to have him pay half the mortgage...my ex refused and I ended up with the sheriff almost at my door to take it away...court order can be made but enforcement either from the courts or the FRO office are a joke. YOU need to take care of yourself and your children.

    2. Don't let a famous lawyer intimidate you!...I had the same situation and just so you know it is possible...I defended myself and took on that lawyer and won. They are just people and if you read up on the law and know your own case better than them...you can do it!! And this site will help. Read read read

    3. At some point, you will need to recognize how much you want to fight for what you are entitled to...sometimes it just isn't worth it! You can't make him want to see his kids, you can't make him pay for everything, and you are going to need to enjoy your kids without being a stress out MOM...I know some women who have simply said...I will do this on my own rather than fight for the pennies. He is the one who will have to live with himself...YOU on the other hand can take care of you and your children the best way you are able...if he is giving you 70% and the fight for the 30% is going to cause you to lose your mind...what is the cost of your sanity and your time with your kids? And don't forget the cost of the lawyers will factor into this.

    Just my thoughts...so sorry to hear your situation. Good luck and don't give up your soul for the pennies. YOU are worth more to your kids!

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    • #3
      Thank you for your support. I thought about backing off but he is winning this game that he is playing and I feel that if I back off he will get away with screwing me over. I know, you think it's not worth it but for so many years he has hurt me emotionally, I just want to see that justice is served. I want to live a peaceful life but for now, I'll see where this takes me. I hate when people screw other people over and get away with it. I guess, I'm too honest.

      Comment

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