My 1st CC Didn't Go Well. What To Do On My 2nd?

[arabian]

There are a lot of factors that OP hadnt shared that explain a few of his statements. Is it wrong to call his ex that? Probably. Theres more to the story that relates to that and its really not fair to attack him for other factors that he hasnt shared.

Hes trying to get some advice on his situation which is that his son, who turns 20 in four months, is not a child of the marriage. His mother has encouraged him to register for three courses a year for the last three years and he barely finishes one. Why? Because she loses her monthly income if he does. Now she has pulled a "hes registering for college" to continue to get cs. I dont think there is a college in Ontario that accepts students with a grade 11 education and no equivalent certification.

In the first CC, the judge didnt want to touch the school records and college application. He just wanted to update child support.

What OP wants to know is how can he have the school records addressed. His ex has provided NO PROOF as to what kid is taking, why it has taken him three extra years to finish his diploma and what his long term plans are. There is no termination date in their agreement and his ex would be content to collect cs in perpetuity.

As parents, where does it become a responsibility to ensure kids are responsible members of society? He has no disabilities, no issues learning. He is lazy.

I believe much of this is speculative on the payor father's part. He doesn't know what the mother told the son, if anything at all.

I don't know if there has been definitive testing for learning disabilities in the past (poster did not mention this).

Child may want to move into his own place, work and go to school. (speculation on my part perhaps).

The poster could also talk to a lawyer about directing child support directly to the son.

[rockscan]

Hes asked yearly for information on his son and the ex provides registration info. Its when he stopped paying cs last fall that she finally coughed up report cards and registration info. He filed to have cs stopped after two full years of kid not completing more than three high school courses with an average grade of 55%. Now mom is claiming kid is going to be starting an advanced computer science program in the fall at college.

Kid also has no job. He lives at home because mom collects the cs to supplement her disability cheque. The ex says he cant work because she will lose her disability income. OP has also offered his son to come live with him and still no because mom loses her money. Every time they have gotten together kid says nothing. The only time he has heard from his kid in the last five years was to ask him to adjourn the first appearance.

There is a lot about this case that is fishy and thats only what he has posted.

I ask the people on here who have children: if your kid was taking an additional three years to finish high school with no documented evidence of a learning disability or comments from a guidance counselor on why they were struggling, what would you do with your kid? Would you say "oh thats ok honey, you do things on your own time" or would you tell them to cut the shit and start being a grown up?

If anything I would recommend you adjourn the next cc and then demand proof that kid is accepted into college and what his work plans are for paying a share of the expenses.

[Bellbaby]

I have understanding to the OP and all the legal opinions/advice offered. I can see, there's a point to everyone's opinion.

The ultimate loser will be the kid. The mother is very, very selfish here. She has set her own son up for a lifetime of failure, career wise and. And she had given him issues he'll need to sort out for himself, emotionally.

It's unfortunate the court keeps giving the child (and mother) chances here. I can see and understand why. But it does enable the mother.

A very sad situation for this kid. I think the mother is rotten. But that's a personal view, just from what I've read following the OP story.