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  • Ex using legal system to bully me...

    Ex wants to change monthly child support amount starting July 1st. Fine. I prepared the paperwork and he just has to sign the "Consent Motion to Change Child Support" before a witness and have the witness sign.
    Will he do that? Nope. He won't sign the "Consent Motion" until I agree to sign another unrelated permanent agreement (i.e. court order) that the lowest earning parent (i.e. me most likely) shall take care of the paperwork every year to change child support (well, that's the gist of it -- it goes on for a couple of pages).
    He claims I'm being uncooperative. I told him I won't agree to something until I know what it involves. I won't know what it involves until I've done it. So sign the "Consent Motion to Change Child Support" and if the process isn't too complicated, I'll agree. So now he says he'll take me to court and get expenses from me.
    Is it unreasonable to find out what the process is before you agree to something or am I missing something?
    I prepared the papers to change child support and now he won't sign them and he's blaming me, even though we are in perfect agreement as to the new amount of child support? Does that warrant taking someone to court? We are supposed to attempt mediation first.
    If he takes me to court over this.....

  • #2
    Originally posted by Epona View Post
    Ex wants to change monthly child support amount starting July 1st. Fine. I prepared the paperwork and he just has to sign the "Consent Motion to Change Child Support" before a witness and have the witness sign.
    Will he do that? Nope. He won't sign the "Consent Motion" until I agree to sign another unrelated permanent agreement (i.e. court order) that the lowest earning parent (i.e. me most likely) shall take care of the paperwork every year to change child support (well, that's the gist of it -- it goes on for a couple of pages).
    He claims I'm being uncooperative. I told him I won't agree to something until I know what it involves. I won't know what it involves until I've done it. So sign the "Consent Motion to Change Child Support" and if the process isn't too complicated, I'll agree. So now he says he'll take me to court and get expenses from me.
    Is it unreasonable to find out what the process is before you agree to something or am I missing something?
    I prepared the papers to change child support and now he won't sign them and he's blaming me, even though we are in perfect agreement as to the new amount of child support? Does that warrant taking someone to court? We are supposed to attempt mediation first.
    If he takes me to court over this.....
    First off it is not unreasonable for anyone to find out as much as you can as well as to have everything disclosed to you. It is your right under the law as well as to your best interests to fully understand evrything that is going on. Any Judge will not be very tolerant to the excuse I didnt know. So you are off to a good start in asking around here. Also ask a lawyer, Flic legal aid or duty counsel. The last is available only at your court house and is there for advice on the day of court.
    Going to court is generally the only route available. while it can become a nusance it generally is the best route as changes are properly documented and made to an order. Protects all too.
    We all have obligations but kinda feel that his being specific about who is responsible ALWAYS to make any Motions is rediculous. The way the system is set up is supposed to give both parties the right to do so if the feel the need. seems to work for the most part but to say that it be the lower income party is just a gesture to limit and to make the one who doesnt have the money spend it. I say dont agree to that because as the laws stand either of you have the right at any time to do so. On a second read of your post also get it properly done through court. he seems to have a stick it too you attitude for someone who claims to agree to the amount as being acceptable. Dont let him bully you esp if you are attempting to be reasonable. seems like he is using it as a tool to get to you and ignoring the child's right to support. seems to that all too often that thier right gets forgotten in the animosity.

    Comment


    • #3
      As the payor, if he wishes support to be changed, the onus would fall on HIM to do the paperwork and submit it to you for YOUR signature.

      Tell him (in writing) that you are more than willing to review each year based on his prior year's tax information, but that if HE wishes a change, HE needs to do the paperwork.

      Comment


      • #4
        Just clarifying ... the exchange of info is to be done 'voluntarily' by each parent, right? i.e. neither has to initiate REQUESTING the info?

        - if his income goes up, then you would naturally be the one initiating the process.
        - if his income goes DOWN, then it's his loss if he is waiting for YOU to initiate the process.

        So his clause seems a little silly to me. Unless he's somehow setting you up to blame for not initiating process to decrease the amounts.

        Does your order also indicate a % split for s7? i.e. the court process would adjust the CS $ amount AND the s7 % amount. So if your income goes up, then he would probably want to have this % updated.
        Last edited by dinkyface; 04-25-2011, 11:34 AM.

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        • #5
          It *should* be done voluntarily...however if it's not, either party can request a copy of the latest notice of assessment and you are supposed to provided it within 30 days of receiving the written request.

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          • #6
            Ex gave me a copy of his income tax return etc. with a "proposal":
            1.The party making the lower level of income at April 30<sup>th</sup> of the applicable year (“the first party”) will prepare the Form 15 Motion to Change and/or any other documentation required. That party will then forward the documents to the other party (“the second party”) for their review. This shall be done as soon as possible after April 30<sup>th</sup>.
            2.The second party will prepare the Form 15-C Consent to Motion to Change and/or any other documentation required, and will return that to the first party, along with any documents previously forwarded by the first party. The other party shall do this as soon as possible.
            3.The first party will file the Form 15, the Form 15-C and any other required documentation with the Court as soon as possible.
            4.The first party will provide a copy of the revised Court Order to both the second party and the Family Responsibility Office as soon as possible.
            5.The first party may provide to the second party proof of payment of any related Court filing costs. The second party will reimburse the first party for 50&#37; of those Court filing costs within 10 days of receipt of the proof of payment."
            Child support will go down and I agreed to his proposal for this year and prepared and forwarded the papers (he mentions the wrong forms etc. for a "Consent Motion to Change Child Support) for him to sign. He won't sign the papers (says they are wrong) and then indicates that I have to agree to his proposal as it is in it's entirety. I said I won't until I know all that is involved, and for me to find out that, he needs to sign the "Consent Motion to Change Child Support".

            Should I just agree to his proposal even though I don't know what is involved? Because it's most likely I'll be the party earning less each year. Are there advantages to being the one who submits the consenting paperwork each year? I am not allowed by the court to commence a motion without the court's permission, but I can file "consenting" paperwork.

            Comment


            • #7
              I've put similar language in my separation agreement over different issues.

              The principal I followed was that the language be neutral and we be treated equally. So I didn't word it that my ex had to always do something from now on going forward, I worded so that either of us were responsible, or both of us, or one party alternating, or the party with the greater income, or etc etc.

              Reading over what he is asking, it seems that he wants a clearly defined process so that you two don't end up arguing about who does what in the future. I don't think it really matters who files, you could just as easily flip a coin, but having one party responsible avoids conflict in the future over who was supposed to do it.

              Comment


              • #8
                It seems and I really question why he wants to go through all that each year. Totally not needed. Do you both feel that your circumstances will be changing that much and that frequently? I still think that if there is a change and he feels he should be paying less then is his right to seek that motion and the reverse hold true for you if you feel there needs to be change. just keeping the animosity going....?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Child support has been changed every year since we separated. Since ex started being more difficult than usual, I registered with FRO (which I reckon annoys him). Since FRO only goes by what is in the court order, you'd think he'd want to change the child support amount as soon as possible. I did the paperwork to reduce child support and he refuses to sign it (decreasing to the amount he wrote, Table amount based on line 150 of his ITR). He says I have to agree to his proposal as it is written, "Or else".
                  Even if I was perfectly willing to agree to his proposal, I wouldn't be able to honour it because I'm not permitted to start a motion (which his proposal requires I do). It's far easier and faster (I believe) to change child support via a "Consent Motion" which he refuses to do.
                  I think he's using the legal system to bully me into something that's impossible for me to honour, meanwhile ignoring the paperwork to change child support which he wants. Or else he's......
                  Last edited by Epona; 04-26-2011, 01:40 PM.

                  Comment

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