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  • FRO Support deduction order

    After almost a year of paying for the house I wasn't living in, the expenses around the house, and providing cash without a separation agreement or court order, we finally came to sign a separation agreement.

    The agreement quite clearly stated that I would not pay the FRO, but pay her directly instead, unless I failed to make a payment within 6 weeks, and after being given written notice. Needless to say that never happened. She never disputed my payments, though they were through Internet email transfers, and she wasn't always timely in despositing them.

    Since the signing, I paid the 2 months back support in the agreement and made all the payments since for the past three months.

    I got a letter Monday from the FRO saying the agreement had been filed with them, and that I needed to pay them directly. After checking with my lawyer, I understand that she can do that despite the clear language in the agreement. She asked them to file just 3 weeks after the signing of the separation agreement.

    Yesterday I got a letter from the FRO, a Notice of Intention to Deem a Support Deduction Order. In other words wage garnishment.

    The letter is quite clear, I have little grounds to appeal, though I can. It won't make a difference in how much I pay. But, with all due respect, I've met my obligations and it irks me to have to do this.

    Anyone have experience appealing something like this? I don't think I can afford to fight it unless I self represent.

  • #2
    You should be able to make arrangements to pay FRO directly instead of them garnishing your wages.

    In all honestly, if your ex is that much of a pain in the ass that she'd go behind your back and do this, AND if she wasn't timely in depositing the funds anyway, this is probably your best option go forward.

    Just keep careful track of anything you pay them, and be aware that they can only enforce amounts in a court order. If you have to adjust the support up/down (due to changes in your notice of assessments) you just have to be aware and take the steps to file a motion on consent to get the support amounts changed.

    Also when support ends, there is a specific process to do so, see my other posts on the matter for how to go about it correctly.

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    • #3
      The notice from the FRO says that they are initiating this, and my only appeal is in court.

      This clearly isn't about money for her, as there hasn't been a missed payment. This is a control game, which doesn't suprise me given the history.

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      • #4
        So let her think she has "won", because what she might not realize is FRO takes a bit to kick in...which means because you have to pay FRO, she may be without support cheques for a month. Honestly, speak to FRO about paying them directly, or let them garnish your wages, either way not a huge deal for you because your payments remain the same and you don't have to worry about your ex saying your not paying.

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        • #5
          FRO takes the stupid out of dealing with potentially high conflict ex's. She can't play games, she can't say you aren't paying, etc.

          It's a government office, so yeah,they can take a while to get their house in order, but as long as you are aware of it and plan accordingly, the reality is that it'll have little, if any impact to you.

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          • #6
            I cannot speak to my ex without an argument ensuing....FRO was the best thing for me, we don't have to speak and the money comes when it should. (since the garnishee)

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            • #7
              My precious ex (who is self-employed) has had a Federal Garnishee placed against him. In true form, and in mega-high arrears (old and new) he has now rec'd a 1st notice for DL suspension. I don't even know if he's EVER communicated w/FRO aside from the fact that he does mail them a check every month (always short). He must be delusional as he appears to think the payments are optional in terms of the amount. This is notwithstanding that he DOES have the ability to pay. He's just being difficult/high conflict. Not sure what's next re: enforcement action.

              Long story short: if an ass like that can pay the FRO 'direct' then you (in good standing) ought to be able to negotiate paying them directly as well. Hope it works out for you. YOU are not the sort of Support Payor that the FRO/MEP needs to strongarm.

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              • #8
                Good news.

                My separation agreement had me paying CS on the 1st of the month, so I tried to contact my FRO case worker. She was away, left a message. Setup internet bill payment to FRO, paid the amount. Called Tuesday, still away. Called Wednesday and spoke with my case worker. She said it was fine to continue to pay that way, and that the notice was sent in case they wanted to exercise it at some point. So for now I am fine. I checked and my ex had already received her money, though it takes a day or two. You might not think thats my problem, but trust me, my ex will make it a problem, and tell the kids that somehow it is my fault.

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                • #9
                  It's not your problem and I think if your ex wants to huff and puff then hey, whatever floats her boat.

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                  • #10
                    FRO uses very terse, intimidating (and confusing) wording on their correspondence with the payor, on the assumption that all are deadbeats. I had that experience myself -- they send a notice of arrears to me, but when I called up, there were no arrears, and they confirmed it, but just said the letter was 'routine. It was during the initial sign up period (I have always paid in full, and on time) because the money had not yet started flowing from FRO to my ex, and the ex freaked. Nonsense.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                      It's not your problem and I think if your ex wants to huff and puff then hey, whatever floats her boat.
                      I wish it were that simple. I did try to get fixed access. But my ex fought for "liberal" but undefined access, meaning the kids could spend as much or as little time with me as they like. I had been optimistic based on how it had been working out at the time that this would be ok.

                      But when things got tense between my ex and I, all of a sudden my kids wouldn't return my calls, or want to see me. In some cases they cancelled appointments. My ex claims that she has been supportive of them spending time with me, but somehow there is a very high correlation between issues between us, and not seeing my kids. I'd like to go back and get fixed access, but of course that would open up a big can of worms and cost $$.

                      When I was paying my ex directly, I was sending Internet email transfers, and she was cashing them days late. I asked her (in an email since she won't answer the phone if she knows its me) if there were any problems or issues, but no response. I suspect she may have been playing games.

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                      • #12
                        I agree with previous posters in that having garnisheed money come directly to me is definitely the way to go as you don't have to have any contact with ex. No games. Interesting that child access issues are frequently in correlation with money.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                          I wish it were that simple. I did try to get fixed access. But my ex fought for "liberal" but undefined access, meaning the kids could spend as much or as little time with me as they like. I had been optimistic based on how it had been working out at the time that this would be ok.

                          But when things got tense between my ex and I, all of a sudden my kids wouldn't return my calls, or want to see me. In some cases they cancelled appointments. My ex claims that she has been supportive of them spending time with me, but somehow there is a very high correlation between issues between us, and not seeing my kids. I'd like to go back and get fixed access, but of course that would open up a big can of worms and cost $$.

                          When I was paying my ex directly, I was sending Internet email transfers, and she was cashing them days late. I asked her (in an email since she won't answer the phone if she knows its me) if there were any problems or issues, but no response. I suspect she may have been playing games.
                          It's really irrelevant when she deposits the transfer, unless she is declining it altogether. It creates no issue for you at all if she waits a few days, perhaps she does all her banking on one day- who knows, but it doesn't matter.

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                          • #14
                            fro

                            after 8 yars of never missing a payment I found myself out of work. I eceived many intimidating letters from FRO and have been paying them whatever I can. I have now secured a job with no paycheck til the 1st of NOv and by then will probably have lost my DL....I know I owe it but have had no income at all..no EI nothing

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                            • #15
                              The point isn't the truth, the point is she uses payments or lack there of (even if they are on time) as an excuse to get the kids upset and then they don't want to see me.

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