children texting other parent during offtime ?

[blinkandimgone]

You will have a very difficult time telling a child that they can text all they want - just not the other parent. Rather than setting rules around contact with the other parent, consider setting rules around the overall use of the phone.

ie:

Phone gets put away during homework time, dinner, family time etc.

Also consider setting a regular time the child is expected to contact the other parent either by text, call or facetime - ie: daily at 7:30, or Mon/Wed/Fri if it's week on-week off. Really depends on what the schedule is.


If you try to set rules that apply only to the other parent, expect it to go badly - very badly.

[The-Iceberg]

Mine is 11. Has his own phone. But too busy with school/homework/video games and friends so almost never texts any parent. The last text I got from him was from my own home when he was outside asking if he can go to 7-11 with friend lol. that was long ago


If you fear that your kid may connect some special bond with mama by phone-forget it. True, girls like to chat more but she's just a kid. No rules for other parent texting.

[denbigh]

We don’t have any rules. Kids could text if they want and they very rarely ely text other parent or myself . What’s does happen is child calls me with messages other parent wants me to know as he uses child to communicate instead of calling me directly

I agree, the more important thing is to set rules overall about media use. Example kids have to be off and put phone in my room by a certain time in evening t g

[rockscan]

The problem with setting these types of rules is that they may not be rules for the house but rules for the other parent. Plus every family is different. Some dont like to put conditions on kids and others are extreme.

You could approach this simply as rules for behaviour and devices. For instance-cell phone is for use outside the home to reach a parent. No phones at the table or in bedrooms. Calls are made on the landline (if you have one) and let kids call before dinner, bed or whatever.

There are several parents on this forum who have had to buy a phone for their kids to guarantee they hear from them or parents who bought a phone and ex refuses to allow them to call.

If you have an unreasonable ex then these rules end up being a rule on either of the parents. As long as kids know they can talk to mom or dad when they want then there isnt a problem. Plus, if kids know they can’t call the other parent to get out of punishment in one house then there arent many problems either.

[kate331]

My kids can get a cell phone and use it at their own discretion, when they get a job and can pay the monthly expenses that comes with it

[denbigh]

Haha, you say that now because your children are young! What you will find, is when you get to junior high that is the only way kids communicate with each other, via text or snap chat or whatever the app of the day is. Picking up and callin g on a phone, even a cell phone, is a foreign concept. My child, in grade 8 was literally one of only 2 kids who did not have a phone, and part of the reason got one as was excluded from the social loop, even from own friends, because if they all decided to get together to go to someones house, it was done via text, so he would miss out. So now has my old phone, with pay as you go, no data (I cant afford it) and gets an allowance and must buy own phone cards to load it up, so if spends it all and runs out, then has no phone to use, at least when out of range of wifi. So it instills some financial ethic

[denbigh]

The rules maybe are not ideal, but that goes for a lot of things, where there are different rules at different house, kids figure it out. my kids have entirely different rules around media use in 2 houses.