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How long does exclusive possession last?

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  • #16
    Thank you all for your input.....need all the advice I can get. Another reason daycare is out because my husband wont agree to either.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by StuckinAB View Post
      Thank you all for your input.....need all the advice I can get. Another reason daycare is out because my husband wont agree to either.


      It doesn’t matter if he agrees... if you need daycare to work he has no choice but to pay his share, but you also have to pay your share. This is exactly why you need to do your own research and not rely on your lawyer. Your lawyer should have already informed you CS and things like daycare are his responsibility. Unless he is available to take care of the kids during your working hours he won’t stand much of a chance disputing daycare


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      • #18
        Everyone says just move...with what money...there are costs to moving ..childcare etc. My stbx has a good income but all goes to bills. Nothing left at the end of the month. I'm restricted as far as going to family and starting over but he has family in the area. Exclusive posession there would be no costs right now . Should the onus be on the person who filed for divorce and their lawyer to come up with a plan. I'm just defending a motion

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        • #19
          You still have costs with exclusive possession. How are you going to pay the mortgage, taxes etc?

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          • #20
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            You still have costs with exclusive possession. How are you going to pay the mortgage, taxes etc?
            He would be required to. The SS and CS calculated based on his income is more than mortgage and house costs. Of course I would not take CS . Its overall cheaper for him.

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            • #21
              You have to take cs. Its the right of the child.

              Holding onto the house is ridiculous and only leads to continued fighting which costs money.

              Start looking for something more manageable and a job. Calculate what your cs would be and get your finances in order.

              SS wont last long as your marriage was not the 65 factor. Stop holding onto that as your net.

              He WILL be required to pay for daycare and more than likely he is saying no because his ss and cs is so high. If you were to work out amounts of ss that has a step down as you work towards being self sufficient then he may be more reasonable.

              The way you are writing it sounds like you want to hold onto the house he must pay for OR be permitted to move the kids away from their father. Neither of these is reasonable. Start thinking of a reasonable compromise that doesn’t involve you living on your ex husbands dime in perpetuity. You are getting a divorce. That means making changes financially as well as physically.

              And before you harp about the kids...they are young enough and resilient enough to survive. Plus they learn what they live. Being fiscally responsible and self sufficient are excellent lessons.

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              • #22
                Are you sure your lawyer isn’t taking you for a ride? $20,000 seems like it might not cover a mobility trial. And no lawyer can guarantee that you’ll win. How long were you married for? SS is no guarantee, and if you’re young likely won’t be forever anyway.

                When I was a single mom, daycare subsidy was based on my income only and not my ex’s. This may make daycare more affordable for you.


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                • #23
                  I think you might be getting ahead of yourself. You need to do some independent research on the things that you are talking about, namely "exclusive possession", "defending a motion" (I think you meant to say you were 'opposing' a motion?), "child support", "spousal support entitlement" and so on.

                  1. Are you and your husband still living together? You are a bit all over the map in that your husband has filed a motion, yet the two of you are discussing reconciliation.
                  2. Presumably you are in Alberta. One of the first things your lawyer should have asked you to do is complete a budget. Have you actually retained a lawyer or did you merely have a consultation with the lawyer?
                  3. You want 'exclusive possession' - why? Has your husband threatened you?
                  4. You refer to 'household income' - do you have income? (employment or otherwise)
                  5. How long have you been married? Were you married in Canada?
                  6. Is the country you want to return to party to the Hague Convention?

                  A bit more information would be helpful.
                  Last edited by arabian; 10-30-2018, 12:02 AM.

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                  • #24
                    Just wondering how long does exclusive possession last typically?
                    It lasts through the interim - however that can be anything from weeks, to months, to years. This could also be something the two of you agree upon as part of a settlement.

                    I can't apply for anything free as our household income is too high.
                    If you are not employed then your household income is zero, or near zero.

                    If I cannot cover childcare with my salary and he cannot even afford CS if it were ordered right now, how can I move out?
                    His expenses do not change whether or not you have the house.

                    If the current expenses, which he is covering, match his CS + SS numbers then he is already paying them. A plan could be to have the house listed, and starting the month of the sale he will pay CS + SS instead of covering the costs of the house. That keeps both of you in a stable financial position.

                    Child care is split in proportion to your incomes.

                    I meet all criteria according to case law for mobility.
                    Is your husband in prison for several years due to child molestation and spousal abuse? If not, your mobility case is not perfect.

                    You may still have a strong case however it is rarely clear cut. Be cautious.

                    Another reason daycare is out because my husband wont agree to either.
                    He does not need to agree. If the children are in daycare so you can work he will end up paying a portion of it.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View Post
                      Is your husband in prison for several years due to child molestation and spousal abuse? If not, your mobility case is not perfect.
                      You took the words out of my mouth. Furthermore, you may be facing a whole new set of rules for mobility as Bill C-78 is coming and mobility requirements will change.

                      http://www.parl.ca/DocumentViewer/en.../first-reading

                      Mobility is the most complex matter in family law. You are better off buying a lottery ticket these days... They have better odds of success.

                      I meet all criteria according to case law for mobility.
                      And what criteria is that?

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                      • #26
                        In my province, mobilty cases are won 52% of the time.
                        Criteria my lawyer mentioned was based on Gordon vs Goertz case. Just need an agreeable parenting time. If I waived spousal, he could definitely more than afford travelling twice a month to see children and then when school age, send them for summer.

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                        • #27
                          Those odds arent great. How will you be able to pay your lawyer, should the house equity be held in trust until all of this is sorted out? Also on the chance you lose, you may be on the hook for his legal fees. It is a big gamble.

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                          • #28
                            There is no equity in our house...been in house for just over a year. That's why I see no point in selling house when mortgage and house costs are less than SS and CS calculated.

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                            • #29
                              52% success rate is NOT high. If you lose you’ve basically gotten yourself into a hole you can’t climb out of.

                              If you can’t afford to buy the house from him, that’s a pretty good indication you can’t afford to keep that house. Spousal support isn’t cut and dried - you may not end up with the number your lawyer gave you.

                              Being able to afford the house isn’t just about S.S.+C.S. being less than the mortgage. You still need to be able to eat, clothe yourself and the kids, need transportation, utilities, kids activities, life insurance, house maintenance and repairs, lawyers fees.


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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by StuckinAB View Post
                                There is no equity in our house...been in house for just over a year. That's why I see no point in selling house when mortgage and house costs are less than SS and CS calculated.
                                You continue to use this argument. I feel it is worth discussing because it is a common mistake.

                                There are two separate financial processes:

                                1) Equalization
                                2) Support

                                There is also a third process:

                                3) Custody

                                ...but you haven't given enough information to give you any advice on that front beyond the fact that you are pretty sure you're gonna win.

                                Equalization

                                You take your assets. This will include the house, cars, maybe pensions, or other assets that you have accrued during your marriage. You figure out the value of the assets. One of you will likely have assets that are worth more, and that person will owe money to the other person.

                                Equalization (for most cases) has nothing to do with support at all. If you want to keep the house, you have an asset. Since there is not much equity in the house, it won't be worth much, but you will probably have to pay your husband half of whatever equity is in the house.

                                eg.
                                House is worth $450,000
                                Mortgage is at $420,000

                                The house is worth $30,000, so you will have to pay your ex $15,000 to keep the house. You will also have to convince the bank that you can carry the mortgage by yourself. They have no obligation to let you do so. If the bank is unwilling to take your ex off the mortgage, the house will have to be sold.

                                Support

                                You are likely entitled to some spousal support. Assuming you get primary residential custody (which is not guaranteed since you have some pretty wonky ideas about what you're going to do if you get custody) you will get some child support. You can decide how to spend that money. You will have to pay for the following entirely by yourself:

                                1) your housing
                                2) your food
                                3) your clothing
                                4) your children's food and clothing (assuming you have primary residential custody)
                                5) insurance
                                6) gasoline
                                7) electricity
                                8) car
                                9) cellphone

                                You will not have to pay the following all by yourself:
                                1) babysitting while you are working
                                2)children's medical and dental fees
                                3) Possibly some activities depending on what you negotiate.

                                Note that it is irrelevant as to whether you kept the house or not. Note that it is up to you how to spend the money. Your ex will have no say how you spend the money, but also it will be irrelevant. If you decide to live in a big house that you cannot afford, it will not cost him a single extra penny.

                                You keep on comparing his "support" costs to his "equalization" costs. Family law (and math for that matter) does not work like that.

                                Custody

                                Just to throw it in, we all are very very very familiar with the Gordon vs. Goertz case. You keep on waving that around like some magic wand that is going to let you drag your kid out of Canada. You don't "meet" the criteria. The case lays out the criteria by which custody will be judged.

                                Honestly, your lawyer sounds like he is terrible. Be very wary, get a second opinion.

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