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  • Shame on you

    Hi, I am new to this forum and certainly wish I had known of this years ago.

    However, I have been reading some of the posts and I can not help but shake my head in sadness. I am a woman on my 2nd marriage (17 years) I had 4 children with my first husband they are now 19, 20, 23 and 25. My ex husband and I although, did not agree on most things (that is why we divorced) still continued to be civil through the process. Our children had both parents and stepparents at all family functions and we celebrated alot of their birthday's together when they were younger. My current husband has a great income and I am employable and I never asked my ex husband for one penny as I knew it would literally break him as he was not an educated man..I did not want my children seeing their father living in his car or with his parents or just plain and simple living in poverty because the law says I can get child support no matter what! I was able to work and support the children just fine.

    My current husband has been going through an ongoing battle with his ex wife and how the law allows this it is beyond me between access, childrens lawyers and $$ it has been a roller coaster ride. And he still did not have access to his 2 children because the mother said the children did not want to see him.. they are older now and like another story I read here, any hope for a relationship is dead and it is because the mother worked her majic with the courts/law, even after a judge ordered telephone access, she still got out of it. Hopefully Child Support will be ending in the next year or so.. $1600./month is alot of $$ to give to someone who is employable but lazy!. We have 2 children of mine at home the same age and there is no way we spend $1600./month on them.

    I guess what I am trying to say is.............................

    Just because you can "stick it to em" whether you are man or woman, try to think about it first. It is not always worth it. Please don't get me wrong I believe both parents should contribute to the children providing they are able. and I may have let alot of things slide but I still feel good about my decision now as I did 18 years ago. Divorces are very trying times for everyone and when children see or hear a parent saying... "ha, ha " I got em" what kind of example are you setting?

    Thanks for allowing me to vent

  • #2
    I totally agree. I very much appreciate your point of view.

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    • #3
      Great post. I recently after over four years of battling came to an agreement. The agreement is not that different from the separation agreement that we had to begin with. After 5 lawyers on her side and 3 lawyers on mine and over $200k in legal fees we have agreed. I was self rep'd for quit some time and her last lawyer refused to settle and told me this was the largest bill he had ever given a client and he was going to do his utmost to see that I got all of it. He was unprepared for all of court appearances, meetings and trial. He only was stalling in order to jack up his bill. Not a fun process in the least. I was thinking of getting a CDFA, Certified Divorce Financial Analysist designation, but after going through all of that I just don't have the stomach for it anymore.

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      • #4
        Isthisoveryet,

        Excellent post.

        lv

        Comment

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