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  • #16
    Child is being released from hospital due to mental health issues. Parents have allegedly both agreed that the child can stay with the father for a while. Nothing more.

    Don't you think it is a tad manipulative to use the child's recovery as opportunity to advance a custody change?

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    • #17
      Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
      I can't wait to see the spin on a 13 yr old with mental health issues, as first posted by the OP, being considered a 'mature youth' by a physician from the psych ward.
      It happens quite often as the mental health issues a child of that age often faces is the result of a parent. Mental health issues don't randomly drop from the sky and there are often causes to them. So, if the doctors see a nutbar parent they will often delegate the decision to the "child" with guidance.

      93% of people are not capable of making decisions about their own health and well-being as they are not qualified clinicians. 93% of patients do what their doctors tell them to do. So, if the doctor has to negate the parents by giving the decision power to the child who is going to follow their instruction they will.

      This mostly happens when parents have a specific religious belief that will put the child at risk. (Christian Scientist, Scientology, Jehova's Witness, etc...)

      Good Luck!
      Tayken

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      • #18
        Originally posted by stripes View Post
        At thirteen, he's not even halfway through junior high, let alone old enough to make important decisions about his life. And if his mental health issues are severe enough to require hospitalization, he's really not competent to make such decisions. If his therapist told him he could choose where to live, s/he screwed up.
        Unless the mental health issues are related to the living conditions and a specific parent. Happens all the time when parents have extreme and medically dangerous religious views. (Scientology, Christian Scientists, etc...)

        You don't need to have "severe" issues to be under care. They have to cause you a personal impact that is interrupting your day-to-day functioning. There is a common misconception that people are only admitted because they are suicidal. I truly hope you are not operating on this misconception.

        Originally posted by stripes View Post
        I'm glad that Mom agreed that he could live with Dad, but I hope it's clear to Kid that the adults are making this decision, not him.
        Actually, the only adult capable of making the decision is the medical professional. If a medical professional provides a choice to a patient it is in their best interests to consider their professional advice. So, the child is actually making a very adult decision. Change is often good for addressing mental health issues. Especially if the location is a strong source of the reason for the challenge in the first place.

        Originally posted by stripes View Post
        And this is really not the time for Dad to be scheming how to get custody of Kid, unless there is something seriously wrong with Mom.
        I agree with this statement. Unless there is a direct correlation between the child's health and the residence of the other parent / their conduct it would be unwise to try to use this as stepping stone to "sole custody" and "majority access". Creating a battle between the parents will more than likely only make the situation worse for the child.

        Conflict breeds problems. Problems are rarely solved with conflict and tactics.

        Good Luck!
        Tayken

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        • #19
          Originally posted by ele110 View Post
          Why would the child stop seing his mother and stay only with you?
          Is there any reason why he should be deprived from contact with his mother?
          Why not a 50/50 custody schedule?
          Is it because of financial considerations? Or is it because the mother is not fit to look after him?
          And why did you let the mother have sole custody to start with?
          The child wouldn't stop seeing his mother entirely - that was never my intention. I want to be supportive of whatever my son decides and if that happens to be living with me and having visitation with the mother then I'm OK with that. Financial considerations have nothing to do with my reasoning. Long story regarding sole custody, but nothing related to either of our ability to parent.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by arabian View Post
            Don't you think it is a tad manipulative to use the child's recovery as opportunity to advance a custody change?
            Good point. I had temporarily forgotten that in family law doing the right thing always works out well in the end. He should wait until the kid is stable and re-establishes a status quo with the mother. Only then should he try to change custody...


            ...said no father who ever ended up with custody.

            Comment

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