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  • #16
    So let me get this right

    - You have 50/50
    - You only work on the days he has the kids
    - Ex works days and requires before and after school care for the kids on his time
    - He wants a letter from your employer telling him you only work when he has the kids

    You must have an idea why he wants this information. What is his end game? Is he just a crazy control freak?

    Letter to lawyer,

    Thank you for your inquiry regarding my employment and hours of work. As has been previously communicated to you on MMDDYY, My work schedule is as follows.

    [work schedule]

    I'm sure that this information will satisfy your request. I nor my employer are legally required to produce an official letter to you regarding my employment status or hours of work. If you feel you are legally entitled to this information please obtain a court order requesting such.

    Signed,

    Have a nice day.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by FB_ View Post
      So let me get this right

      - You have 50/50
      - You only work on the days he has the kids
      - Ex works days and requires before and after school care for the kids on his time
      - He wants a letter from your employer telling him you only work when he has the kids

      You must have an idea why he wants this information. What is his end game? Is he just a crazy control freak?

      Letter to lawyer,

      Thank you for your inquiry regarding my employment and hours of work. As has been previously communicated to you on MMDDYY, My work schedule is as follows.

      [work schedule]

      I'm sure that this information will satisfy your request. I nor my employer are legally required to produce an official letter to you regarding my employment status or hours of work. If you feel you are legally entitled to this information please obtain a court order requesting such.

      Signed,

      Have a nice day.
      ^^^ this.

      You are not obligated to provide your work schedule. You are entitled to work, whether or not it is your parenting time.

      Simply have your lawyer send a letter confirming your work schedule and advise them that you will not entertain any further requests for your schedule as they are immaterial.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by FB_ View Post
        So let me get this right

        - You have 50/50
        - You only work on the days he has the kids
        - Ex works days and requires before and after school care for the kids on his time
        - He wants a letter from your employer telling him you only work when he has the kids

        You must have an idea why he wants this information. What is his end game? Is he just a crazy control freak?

        Letter to lawyer,

        Thank you for your inquiry regarding my employment and hours of work. As has been previously communicated to you on MMDDYY, My work schedule is as follows.

        [work schedule]

        I'm sure that this information will satisfy your request. I nor my employer are legally required to produce an official letter to you regarding my employment status or hours of work. If you feel you are legally entitled to this information please obtain a court order requesting such.

        Signed,

        Have a nice day.
        "Thank you. Yes, he is a crazy control freak which is why our marriage ended, and also how I ended up in my current line of employment. He can't stand that the end of our marriage was my choice and not his, and even moreso hates that my line of work empowers other women to leave their abusive and controlling situations. He has very strong beliefs in this regard and does everything to attempt to maintain some kind of control over me because he cannot force me to be dependant on him anymore. Thank you for the advice, I will do just that."

        Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
        ^^^ this.

        You are not obligated to provide your work schedule. You are entitled to work, whether or not it is your parenting time.

        Simply have your lawyer send a letter confirming your work schedule and advise them that you will not entertain any further requests for your schedule as they are immaterial.
        "Thank you for the advice as well. I will send him an email like that (I don't have a lawyer, haven't needed one for years since we divorced and don't share his desire to have one ready to go at all times)."

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Serene View Post
          He is asking because of the maximum contact law. I personally would provide your ex a statement to the effect that you understand the maximum contact law and that you do not work typically during your parenting time.

          Then leave it alone.

          Demand or no demand - that will not dictate costs. And I can't understand why you contemplate court, costs or not, if you didn't have to go.
          I do not believe Maximum contact law would apply,here. From what I have read this particular ruling is more inline with ensuring that both parents are afforded maximum contact and that both parent are willing to facilitate that access.

          Comment


          • #20
            As I understand it and as was explained in the court by the judge to my husband (I was in attendance). The maximum. Contact law is applicable at all times. Mom even asked "what about if the children are sick. Or if it is a snow day from school, or a PA day..." and the judge explained that the children could not be with the grandparents, step mother and/or other siblings if the other parent wanted the children. As such it was written into the order like that.

            But sibling, stepparent and grandparent can take kids to doctors apps, etc. But can't take these days to "have fun" with the kids. Makes no sense to me. But then again, I'm not the judge.

            Comment


            • #21
              I understand that but the posters ex does not want to take the children when she is at work. He is telling her she cannot put them into daycare. So he is not asking for right of first refusal. Interesting point though. I had not heard of this maximum contact law.

              Comment


              • #22
                That is her interpretation anyhow. But I bet it does come back to maximum contact with the father...it's a possibility anyhow.

                But what an interesting take from the judge: extended family can do parental role activities (appointments, etc). But gawd forbid they take them to the zoo on a PA day lol

                Comment


                • #23
                  It's my understanding from the poster that the children would not at all be in daycare during her time unless there were a sick call and Dad was not able to take them. Her schedule and the children's schedule has not changed in a year and a half, and prior to then when her schedule was less regular, she simply provided her schedule to him and that was fine. The kids won't be anywhere but with her outside of school hours so no identifiable issue, just a random out of the blue demand to have her employer provide confirmation of her work schedule.

                  She works when the kids are with him so there is no request on either side for the kids to be with the other parent during work hours.
                  Last edited by blinkandimgone; 06-18-2014, 12:58 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    This is what the Divorce Act provides for maximum contact:

                    Maximum contact

                    (10) In making an order under this section, the court shall give effect to the principle that a child of the marriage should have as much contact with each spouse as is consistent with the best interests of the child and, for that purpose, shall take into consideration the willingness of the person for whom custody is sought to facilitate such contact.

                    Maximum contact is a principle, not law. And it should be consistent with the best interests of the child. The principle is irrelevant here as:


                    1. OP isn't working during her parenting time;


                    2. it doesn't sound like their ex would be taking time off to care for the kids. It sounds as if the ex wants to force the OP not to work when they have the kids; and


                    3. no court order that the OP either a) not work or b) not be able to put their kids in child care in order to facilitate their work, especially if the ex isn't going to care for them in OP place.


                    OP's ex has no case and is only succeeding in getting OP wound-up.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Well said. I agree. Ignore, Ignore and Ignore. Stop letting him control your life.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I think she should take issue with him working during the time the children are under his control.

                        Suggest she decrease her working hours (and her line 150), to be there and care for the children during his parenting time when he is unable to parent properly.
                        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
                          I think she should take issue with him working during the time the children are under his control.

                          Suggest she decrease her working hours (and her line 150), to be there and care for the children during his parenting time when he is unable to parent properly.
                          Good idea!

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
                            I think she should take issue with him working during the time the children are under his control.

                            Suggest she decrease her working hours (and her line 150), to be there and care for the children during his parenting time when he is unable to parent properly.
                            LOL

                            Or just send the letter I posted above and ignore until they get a court order.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
                              I think she should take issue with him working during the time the children are under his control.

                              Suggest she decrease her working hours (and her line 150), to be there and care for the children during his parenting time when he is unable to parent properly.
                              "Thanks, I have no interest in playing games with him or playing into his making things as difficult as possible. I just want to live my life independently of him and in peace, understand that he has and will always have a role in the childrens lives and am fine with that, I wish he felt the same. I'm going to try the email suggested earlier and see where that goes. I'm not sure it will be good enough for him as he has already been provided that information but one can hope. Thanks again for all the advice and suggestions."

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                                "Thanks, I have no interest in playing games with him or playing into his making things as difficult as possible. I just want to live my life independently of him and in peace, understand that he has and will always have a role in the childrens lives and am fine with that, I wish he felt the same. I'm going to try the email suggested earlier and see where that goes. I'm not sure it will be good enough for him as he has already been provided that information but one can hope. Thanks again for all the advice and suggestions."
                                Call his hand and if he takes it to court ask for costs.

                                Comment

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