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  • Contacting Opposing counsel myself

    I have as always forwarded my ex the monthly receipts for expenses he has agreed to pay in our almost 6 year old separation agreement that has been filed with the courts. I started a motion to change to enforce payment as he has stopped paying his share. Now he is demanded that I forward all receipts and requests for expenses to his lawyer via mine. Clearly another tactic to make me waste money. We have sent one lengthy letter with some requests for payment. It has gone ignored as most of the letters sent have.
    Can I just forward the receipts to his lawyer myself and bypass mine? Or should I just continue to email him the monthly receipts and not worry about it. He isn’t paying them anyways. My lawyer said previously to just keep emailing them. My Lawyer isn’t aware of this recent demand, and I don’t want to waste more money informing him. Thoughts?


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    Last edited by Mom 2 Two; 02-27-2019, 08:59 PM.

  • #2
    Keep emailing him and keep records of said emails.

    Why waste resources....you might need them down the road


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    • #3
      Right!! So just because he says to go through his lawyer doesn’t mean I have too. He is in breech If agreement and his arrears are piling up. It’s just frustrating. Thx.


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      • #4
        Your lawyer has already directed you to continue emailing him the receipts. So continue emailing the receipts. This is not a $300/hr lawyer task. Perhaps CC his lawyer in the email though? Maybe if the lawyer starts seeing all his unpaid expenses they’ll knock some sense in him and suggest to him that he starts paying.

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        • #5
          Yes I wish that would happen. So you think it’s ok to CC his lawyer on my own and not bother getting mine to do it. His later knows of all his arrears and yet he still doesn’t pay them.


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          • #6
            Maybe email your ex and cc both your lawyer and his.

            Your lawyer doesn't have to do anything and you are just keeping him in the loop. He could then refer to this email later down the line.

            Just an idea...

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            • #7
              Originally posted by otttawa_dad View Post
              Maybe email your ex and cc both your lawyer and his.

              Your lawyer doesn't have to do anything and you are just keeping him in the loop. He could then refer to this email later down the line.

              Just an idea...

              Sent from my SM-G950W using Tapatalk
              Just re-read your initial post. Dont email your lawyer or his... that's what lawyers are for. Save yourself the $ and when you need to have your lawyer intervene have all sent emails and let him address the issue w ex's lawyer. Likely the best bang for your buck.

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              • #8
                No restraining order. Send to the other party directly.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by otttawa_dad View Post
                  Just re-read your initial post. Dont email your lawyer or his... that's what lawyers are for. Save yourself the $ and when you need to have your lawyer intervene have all sent emails and let him address the issue w ex's lawyer. Likely the best bang for your buck.

                  Sent from my SM-G950W using Tapatalk


                  The problem is my lawyer has tried to address some of these issues with regard to him not paying what is in our agreements Ex’s lawyer does not respond.



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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                    No restraining order. Send to the other party directly.


                    Thanks Tayken... no restraining orders...
                    they have demanded I don’t speak with them (ex and gf) and that all communication go via email. So that’s what I do... send receipts... send school and app information.
                    Now it’s hockey registration time... this would be the forth year kids are in hockey... so sent registration to dad via email.. told me he no longer consents( agreement says he is to pay in proportion to his income for recreational sports) and to send it to his lawyer. So stupidly i paid lawyer for a long letter and as usual it’s gone ignored.

                    I will forward the receipts as usual and I guess. He doesn’t pay them anyways. And this is coming from an ex whom is fighting me for sole/shared custody after 5.5 years of me having custody that he agreed to.
                    He can’t even converse over email which he demanded I use.


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                    • #11
                      You mentioned a motion, are you the moving party?

                      Is the motion to change support or custody?

                      Is FRO involved?

                      S.7 expense have to be agreed upon and reasonable. Hockey falls in this clause.

                      Its possible that he cant afford it. Maybe suggest an alternative agreement, so that your kids can still play.

                      Ie: I pay 2/3rds you pay the difference for the registration, make sure you state this is to assist him and ensure kids keep playing.

                      Kill them with kindness!!!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by otttawa_dad View Post
                        You mentioned a motion, are you the moving party?

                        Is the motion to change support or custody?

                        Is FRO involved?

                        S.7 expense have to be agreed upon and reasonable. Hockey falls in this clause.

                        Its possible that he cant afford it. Maybe suggest an alternative agreement, so that your kids can still play.

                        Ie: I pay 2/3rds you pay the difference for the registration, make sure you state this is to assist him and ensure kids keep playing.

                        Kill them with kindness!!!


                        He stopped paying. She filed a motion for payment. He countered with a request for custody. Its now delayed for OCL report. Meanwhile her bills continue to pile up.

                        Mom2Two, keep sending to him. He can share with his lawyer. He doesn’t get to dictate how you engage your lawyer.

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                        • #13
                          Spreadsheets are a useful tool to tabulate, use Google Sheets, share it with him with read only permission. Keep it updated up to motion day (prior) print receipts and spreadsheets and use as exhibit. Will make motion judge job easier to create/endorse the order; won't have to crunch a bunch of numbers.

                          I would create a sheet for daycare.

                          Column 1: total monthly cost
                          Column 2: your share of total monthly cost
                          Column 3: ex share of total monthly cost
                          Column 4: cumulative total

                          2nd sheet would be for extra curricular activities. SAME FORMAT

                          Just be ready to explain it....

                          I have one...I'll try and post pic later.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by otttawa_dad View Post
                            Spreadsheets are a useful tool to tabulate, use Google Sheets, share it with him with read only permission. Keep it updated up to motion day (prior) print receipts and spreadsheets and use as exhibit. Will make motion judge job easier to create/endorse the order; won't have to crunch a bunch of numbers.

                            I would create a sheet for daycare.

                            Column 1: total monthly cost
                            Column 2: your share of total monthly cost
                            Column 3: ex share of total monthly cost
                            Column 4: cumulative total

                            2nd sheet would be for extra curricular activities. SAME FORMAT

                            Just be ready to explain it....

                            I have one...I'll try and post pic later.

                            Sent from my SM-G950W using Tapatalk


                            Thanks Ottawa_dad!! I have it all on spreadsheets but not the easiest to understand. We have a settlement conference coming up. I have only ever asked for half of the hockey even though he agreed to in proportion to his income. We have always split any costs equally. That all I am asking for in my motion. Shared costs. Dad can afford it. His employment has not changed. The only change is he moved 45 mins away to a much bigger more expensive home to accommodate his gf and her three children. So not sure how now he can say it’s above his means?? Don’t his own kids still come first??

                            He paid willingly and took them to hockey on his weekends for past three years. That’s all our kids play. It’s house league . The cost is more than reasonable. He has left me with everything for over a year now. Thankfully agreement was worded well enough for Fro to collect child support. Which I only had to use once he moved away. Thanks for the tips.


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                            • #15
                              Here's a quick example of what i'm talking about...I just recently went to trial and had several spreadsheets detailing several outstanding financial issues... The judge loved my attention to detail and how I presented it. Takes a lot of guess work out of the equation, and eliminates the need for a Judge to do math, which in return allows "him/her" to focus on the real problems.




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