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  • Parental right?

    What would happen if the custodial parent of 2 teens (16 & 17) passed away and the teens refuse to go live with other parent whom they have not had contact with for almost 10 months?

    I know deafacto custody goes to the living parent but at those ages I also would assume a court can't "force" them to reside with anyone.

    A family member is going away for a week & kids approached him upset about whether he had a will, where would they live if the plane went down, etc...

    He asked me and I'm stumped. The kids say they want to reside with grandparents or aunt should something happen to him but he knows bio mom will put up a fight which will likely build the wall between her & the kids even higher. It's not a good situation all around

  • #2
    what do the grandparents and aunt think about it?? They may not want to responsibility.

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    • #3
      They would be withdrawing from parental control, which they could do even if both parents were alive. The parent would no longer be legally responsible for supporting them. I believe this is in the Children's Law Reform Act, I will check later when I have the chance.

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      • #4
        Thank Mess .. Any links you could find would be great.

        He honestly wasn't thinking about the "what if" scenario (ie plane going down) until kids approached him. His ex also showed up at his door demanding that she have a copy of his will which I told him he didn't have to provide her if he didn't want to (he didn't) as its a personal document of HIS and only his lawyer upon his death is to open it although his parents also have a copy.

        Neither grandparents or aunt want to be in the position of being responsible for 2 teens however both would do it in a heartbeat as both are exceptionally close to the kids in question

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        • #5
          Originally posted by DunnMom View Post
          Thank Mess .. Any links you could find would be great.

          He honestly wasn't thinking about the "what if" scenario (ie plane going down) until kids approached him. His ex also showed up at his door demanding that she have a copy of his will which I told him he didn't have to provide her if he didn't want to (he didn't) as its a personal document of HIS and only his lawyer upon his death is to open it although his parents also have a copy.

          Neither grandparents or aunt want to be in the position of being responsible for 2 teens however both would do it in a heartbeat as both are exceptionally close to the kids in question
          being close to the kids is one thing, actually stepping into a parental role is another. This is something he needs to find out for sure.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
            being close to the kids is one thing, actually stepping into a parental role is another. This is something he needs to find out for sure.
            He knows .. Grandparents are in same city and see teens almost daily as well as drive them to/from jobs and activities .. Aunt is 20 min away with her own kids same age .. Either one would do it without a second thought if something unforseeable happened although it's never been something explicitly discussed as this is all less than 2 yrs new to him (separation/ divorce).

            All he wanted was to take a weeks vacation ... Then the kids broached the subject & he came to me and I'm a "hope for the best but expect the worst" pessimist so now he's stressing as am I cause I feel like I'm ruining his plans

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            • #7
              the one way to look at it that the kids at their ages cannot be forced to go live with their mother if something happens to him. He should be more worried about setting up to provide for them in case something happens to him.

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              • #8
                Been there at least the Alberta version. A child of 14 can make many choices for themselves - medical for example - at 16 they are on their own if they chose.... the only thing a parent can do is break the real financial ties (like the CTB as the child is no longer supported by you) and this also protects the family that is "left behind" from any unseen legal woes for the actions of their 16 year old out there (ex they are involved in the break and entry to 39 houses - massive lawsuit would be on the parents hands as they are ultimately responsable unless they have broken those ties) We, I broke those ties, I could barely look her in the eye for two years, we bought and dropped off a warm wiinter jacket for that first winter. It was myself who two years ago spent six months convincing her that coming home and going to school to educate herself, make sure that she would never need to depend on anyone for the rest of her life - not a man, not a husband.

                All parents need to have a what to do if we both die and you have a newborn child. This needs to be updated as circumstances are changing as they are here - do it. Who may take care of them? You can't assume here - you can't hope, you can't nothing..... Not fair to the kids or the new caregiver. Next is support, we had it set up that there would be enough in a trust account to pay all the bills thru school and the caregiver was expected not to spend one penny. You have to get this in writing, even if just a word document with both parties having signed copies - wills can refer to this letter (dated to the most recent update. We owe it to our children to take care of them till they finish school alive or sadly not.

                Sit down with you perspective caregivers now and make the best choice for the children, at least they are older now so the load on the grand parent will not be overwhelming but if your kids are 3,1, and new born the load on 60 or 65 year old grandparents must be taken into concideration too.

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                • #9
                  These kids need to be reassured that their father is more likely to be killed in his car on the way home from work than he is to go down in a plane crash while on vacation.

                  Obvious solution: take the kids on vacation with him.

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                  • #10
                    My 16 year old daughter moved out now living with my sister. My sister wants guardianship and also get her baby bonus and child support. Is it possible she can get all three?

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                    • #11
                      Certainly. The issue of guardianship is only relevant if the child owns property or has a trust fund.

                      At 16 the child may withdraw from parental control and essentially has the rights of an adult, except rights like voting, drinking etc. that have specific limitations.

                      There is little practical need for custody at this age. The only possible need would be to receive the Child Tax Benefit ("baby bonus".) I would call the CRA information line and find out what their requirments are before I would go through any court proceedings.

                      The child may already consent to any medical proceedure. If you wanted cover all possibilities, the aunt may seek to be able to make medical decisions if the child is unconcious, in a coma, etc.

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                      • #12
                        as far as the government bonuses, grants (CTB) - they follow the child not the parent. You are financially on the hook to return any amount sent to you by the government after the month your daughter left your home. I believe it takes an application filled out by your sister, signature of your daughter (I am not sure - I do not think the parent needs to sign but it would be on the record that you reported your daughter as having left your home....).

                        As far as the child support, you probably have a court order that spells out who gets this - it would require your return to court to have your agreement modified and will take the agreement from both parents or the court aspect (costs) will escalate quickly??

                        Comment

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