3 years later...

[besidehim]

I am engaged to an amazing man... he is working himself to the bone to provide for our family and that of his child support & alimony...

when the seperation happened.. he was blindsided.. she said they needed to seperate a bit and do some counselling, they had done this before, and he'd moved back in and things had carried one.. this time.. after 6 months.. she filed for divorce and claimed he abandoned them and so in turn has possession of everything within the house.. which she kept.

they had a million dollar home... she never worked a day in their 7 year marriage, it was all off his sweat... by the end of it all he walked away with $1600.00 and nothing else... he has since been paying child support and alimony.

since the divorce she has been through a few courses but barely has worked and continues to be in and out of training for careers but never actually working for any length of time. She has lied on her application for her mortgage putting his income / business and lives in a large $600,000.00 home with the 2 kids while we rent a small townhome. We live within our means and she lives in abundance and we are not seeing how she is doing this.

When she took him back to court last year to adjust the supports, of course she wanted more. She already gets $1000 child support and $1500 alimony monthly, she brought in a letter from the bank claiming they were going to take the house due to missed mortgage payments. She claimed she would have to sell off her car that HE paid off, basically, when the divorce happened and she allocated funds and paid it off herself from their joint account. It has been 9 months since the hearing and she still drives the same car, and lives in her house. She has again threatened to take him back to court for want of more money.

My fiancee is 51, and suffers bad arthritis... he kills himself working and does the best he can do for his children and responsibilities. He gets them every other weekend, but had not seen his son for 5 months, and his ex had not helped the situation with her nastiness and lies...

How do we get copies of her financials? He had to send her copies of his tax return. How do we get proof of her lies and fraud with regards to her mortgage issues? That she hasnt sold her car... that she obviously has more of an income than she states. She has stated it takes $12,000.00 a month for her to cover her expenses.. which includes mortgage, etc... yet isnt working a fulltime job anywhere? We are dumbfounded how she is making it at all if these figures are true. And how can she think having a cost that high of a single mom with 2 kids and no real job is ok at all? Talk about stress...

The divorce happened due to her alcoholism, her infidelity and his working 16hr days to provide for the family everything they could ever want.

He got burned by her.. burned by his lawyer.. and burned over and over by the courts.

I am so lost as to what road to take next to help him.. for him to help himself... This alimony has to stop... she's just playing the system. Her mother cares for the children when they arent in school so she has the ability to work any hours necessary...

please... i ask that anyone be able to offer me some advice.. point me in a direction...

How can we legally gain access to her income and expenditures.. she's lying and working the system like an expert...

thanks everyone for listening ^^

[blinkandimgone]

I'm not quite sure what you would do other than take her back to court. I also have no idea how she could have qualified to get a mortgage without providing her SIN number to verify employment for a loan that large. She can't just waltze into a bank and ask for a loan in her name and provide his financials for it. There must be something more going on there.

He should at the very least be contacting the bank that the mortgage is held with to find out if there are any loans out in his name that he didn't authorize - THAT would be fraud and he would definately have a case there.

[besidehim]

would the bank actually give him informations on HER mortgage? I'm highly doubting it... but if she does go and lose the house due to her stupidity and over spending/shopping habit... and his name is tied to it.. he could be in a world of hurt...

the courts have been no help... his lawyer was happy to take his money yet not help... why would the banks help???

grrrr...

[blinkandimgone]

I would imagine if they were holding the loan in his name they would have to give him the information. She could not have legally secured a loan in his name without his knowledge or consent, if they have anything in his name then they MUST tell him.

Is it possible they had a joint loan on the mortgage together and she simply renewed it? I believe they would still need his consent for that but she may have somehow slipped it in. Either way, the bank would HAVE to tell him if they had anything in his name that he was legally responsible for paying. He should make an appointment to speak to someone ASAP.

Some other options would be for him to have his credit score checked to make sure there is nothing outstanding he doesn't recognize or go to a credit counsellor to find out his current credit situation to make sure everything is good. There are many places that you can go to for free credit counselling depending on what area you're in.

[dadtotheend]

They may have jointly provided that info in the past when they got the house and she may be continuing to allow the bank to think that they are still together.

If his name is still on that mortgage, why? The bank will at least let him know that.

IMO, if she used his income to deceive the bank to qualify or renew the mortage, that's identity fraud.

[besidehim]

the home they shared was sold at the time of the divorce... she aquired this home after the divorce, but since she was NOT working and hadnt been working the entire marriage, the only way i can see possible is if she used his "business" and prior income made during the marriage as her information...

we did goto the bank today and since tomorrow is a holiday, half the people were off and the other half over-busy...

we will go again friday...

thanks guys for the advice...

[blinkandimgone]

Oh! I assumed by this statement:

She has lied on her application for her mortgage putting his income / business and lives in a large $600,000.00 home with the 2 kids while we rent a small townhome. We live within our means and she lives in abundance and we are not seeing how she is doing this.

That you already knew she had, not that you just thought she may have.

If this is solely her home and she is whining about missing mortgage payments and the bank taking the home then he should have left her to deal with her own situation. You don't get to go to court and demand an increase in support payments because you keep increasing your living expenses when you were able to meet them before on what you were recieving. If it was activities or something for the kids that would be different but you cna't go out and buy an expensive home and then take your ex to court and demand he pay for it.

I still say there's a LOT more that we're not hearing ont his one.

[besidehim]

not sure how much more you wanna hear...

married 7 years.. he worked, 2 kids, she never worked, was an alcoholic, he never saw the kids.. she went out drinking and partying, drinking and driving, then he found a tape recording she accidentally made talking to her best friend about her lover and not being able to wait til the kids went to school and he went to work so she could sneak him into the downstairs suite for her morning romp... (the grocery list hand held recorder was in her purse and she obviously hit it and turned it on when getting her cell phone out.. oops)

to buy their first house she encouraged him (talked him into) selling his apartment he had still in another city, and was renting out.. then they upgraded to a million dollar home because this was her dream and he wanted nothing but to keep his family happy...

during this time she over spent, over induldged the kids and herself.. and started hiding away money. she was in charge of the finances, dumb him. 16 hour days plus having to do the shopping for the business on weekends all to financially provide for all her wants.

they seperated as previously stated above and sold the home. She paid off her car, paid off all credit cards that she racked up during their seperation (10's of thousands), and paid off all joint debts, etc... she kept everything within the home because she claimed he abandoned them, which was so untrue... she then kept $45,000 of her share and kept his $45,000 as for first year of alimony and child support... magically $100,000 disappeared and he walked away with $1,600.00.

he moved into the townhouse and slept on the floor... no bed, no chairs, no sofa, no tv, no dressers.. nothing... again, she had / kept everything.

during the divorce she contacted the business accounting and asked for information on the company... the accountant not knowing of the divorce gave her the information... this was september, and you really only deal with your accountant at tax time.

It was brought to his attention this year when i went to the accountant to do the taxes with them and during conversation i was told of her phone call 3 years ago...

during the marriage the kids were in a private school costing $5 - $6,000 a year... he is now supporting 2 households in this economy and cannot afford to be paying for the schooling on top of the child support and alimony. The work is just not out there right now... he makes half now what he made during the marriage and has to pay double a month to keep 2 houses going... she still wants more ...

her constant schooling towards a new carreer then her not working after, only to start schooling in another carreer keeps her alimony secure... i think this is ridiculous ! why cant a judge see through her???

overall during the last 2 years of their marriage while going back through the records, she secreted away over $100,000 from their joint bank account ...

i'm not sure what else i can say is she screwed him and is still trying to bend him over and take his last drop of blood... he made alot of mistakes in trusting her and made some bad decisions but isnt enough long past?

if you have any questions to clarify anything.. please feel free.. we need advice... cannot afford to pay another lawyer $7,000 to zero results.

[Technodaddy]

When you go to court ask for financial disclosure:

http://yorklaw.ca/files/Standard%20Disclosure%20Terms-Support%20Cases%20Sep16-08.pdf

Family law rules also state you must provide and up to date financial statement:

this may help Family Law Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3

Good luck.

[besidehim]

ty technodaddy!!

[rwm1273]

I am surprised that the court granted a divorce without dealing with the property issues properly.

He needs to go to court and ask for a variation of his ongoing support. But to be eligable he needs to prove that there is a change in circumstance. The other option is to go to court and ask that he be permitted to work 40hr per week instead of the large amounts he is now.

I would ask for a viva voce hearing so that oral testimony can be given. At this hearing his lawyer needs to ask her all kinds of very direct questions about how much money she got from the divorce, what kind of bills she has, what she does all day long, and so on and so forth.

If she is a liar, she will get caught very easily on the witness stand, and her lawyer will not be able to help her at all.