Hi all: New Here. Thanks up-front for any advice that is offered!
My ex and I separated almost 8 years ago. He's a control freak, manipulative and an outright liar. We struck a sep and custody agreement after separation (I prompted due to numerous "if you don't I'll take you to court" threats).
Ex was supposed to pay 60% of s.7 expenses, guideline support and was to update his income annually.
Well, fast forward a couple of years.....ex never updated income voluntarily. It wasn't until after he had another child did I become aware that his income was much higher than he stated in the original agreement.
For another reason entirely (daughter refusing to visit her dad due to his new wife) I filed for sole custody, back support, back s.7 expenses and an altered access schedule. Two years in and out of settlement conferences, involvement of OCL, ex submits final offer to settle which outlined access on a week on/week off basis. I finally relented, forgave all back expenses, all back child support and accepted updated child support according to guidelines .... just to get him off the week on/week off schedule he was demanding. After two years of back and forth, I finally settled May 30. By June 15 my ex had decided that our daughter wasn't "worthy" of the vacation to the cottage he had taken her on since separation and basically decided she'd be left home. Despite my objections (I had vac time for myself and new hubby scheduled during ex's time with our daughter) my ex refused to even acknowledge that I wasn't going to be around that weekend/week and I was forced to cancel my vacation (daughter wasn't quite 10 at the time). Not that big a deal....except, my ex hasn't bothered to see his daughter since. He hasn't exercised his generous access time since the end of June and never even bothered to call her on her birthday.
Now, obviously he was using a horrible proposed access schedule in order to negotiate himself out of back support/expenses. As soon as I offered to forgive those debts, he accepted the access schedule I gave him.
He hasn't paid support regularly at all since May 30 - even refused to pay support on June 1 as he was sure I would contact FRO and didn't want to "pay twice". FRO is another issue entirely
Anyhow, I've gotten C&FS involved due to the obvious emotionally abusive way he has handled our daughter, myself, his other daughter and her mother (whom is not the new wife). My daughter is quite happy to not have to see her dad at the moment and I'm working with C&FS to get him back on track with regard to access and his treatment of her.
My question is primarily this - since he has defaulted on access (his own choice and on-going choice - preferring his double header baseball schedule than his daughter), hasn't made any effort to get up to date on his child support (FRO is just one more system he can manipulate) and so obviously was "using" a proposed access schedule he knew I would find distasteful in order to eliminate all past debts and legal costs.....can I sue him in small claims for breach of contract/agreement and get back all the back support, expenses and legal fees I was forced to forgive him?? I spent 13Gs on the last court "go around" which was essentially a complete waste of time. I spent 5Gs on the first agreement in order to squash the court threats. As a result of this agreement, the past agreement (which he didn't honour either) and the insufficient support he had paid for many years and the sporadic support I've received since the final court agreement, I'm in a tremendous amount of debt! All for essentially no reason! I'm trying to recoup some of my costs - yes! But, I'm also trying to impose some sort of consequence for his selfish, manipulative actions so I don't end up in this very spot again.
Thanks for reading my long-winded post!
My ex and I separated almost 8 years ago. He's a control freak, manipulative and an outright liar. We struck a sep and custody agreement after separation (I prompted due to numerous "if you don't I'll take you to court" threats).
Ex was supposed to pay 60% of s.7 expenses, guideline support and was to update his income annually.
Well, fast forward a couple of years.....ex never updated income voluntarily. It wasn't until after he had another child did I become aware that his income was much higher than he stated in the original agreement.
For another reason entirely (daughter refusing to visit her dad due to his new wife) I filed for sole custody, back support, back s.7 expenses and an altered access schedule. Two years in and out of settlement conferences, involvement of OCL, ex submits final offer to settle which outlined access on a week on/week off basis. I finally relented, forgave all back expenses, all back child support and accepted updated child support according to guidelines .... just to get him off the week on/week off schedule he was demanding. After two years of back and forth, I finally settled May 30. By June 15 my ex had decided that our daughter wasn't "worthy" of the vacation to the cottage he had taken her on since separation and basically decided she'd be left home. Despite my objections (I had vac time for myself and new hubby scheduled during ex's time with our daughter) my ex refused to even acknowledge that I wasn't going to be around that weekend/week and I was forced to cancel my vacation (daughter wasn't quite 10 at the time). Not that big a deal....except, my ex hasn't bothered to see his daughter since. He hasn't exercised his generous access time since the end of June and never even bothered to call her on her birthday.
Now, obviously he was using a horrible proposed access schedule in order to negotiate himself out of back support/expenses. As soon as I offered to forgive those debts, he accepted the access schedule I gave him.
He hasn't paid support regularly at all since May 30 - even refused to pay support on June 1 as he was sure I would contact FRO and didn't want to "pay twice". FRO is another issue entirely
Anyhow, I've gotten C&FS involved due to the obvious emotionally abusive way he has handled our daughter, myself, his other daughter and her mother (whom is not the new wife). My daughter is quite happy to not have to see her dad at the moment and I'm working with C&FS to get him back on track with regard to access and his treatment of her.
My question is primarily this - since he has defaulted on access (his own choice and on-going choice - preferring his double header baseball schedule than his daughter), hasn't made any effort to get up to date on his child support (FRO is just one more system he can manipulate) and so obviously was "using" a proposed access schedule he knew I would find distasteful in order to eliminate all past debts and legal costs.....can I sue him in small claims for breach of contract/agreement and get back all the back support, expenses and legal fees I was forced to forgive him?? I spent 13Gs on the last court "go around" which was essentially a complete waste of time. I spent 5Gs on the first agreement in order to squash the court threats. As a result of this agreement, the past agreement (which he didn't honour either) and the insufficient support he had paid for many years and the sporadic support I've received since the final court agreement, I'm in a tremendous amount of debt! All for essentially no reason! I'm trying to recoup some of my costs - yes! But, I'm also trying to impose some sort of consequence for his selfish, manipulative actions so I don't end up in this very spot again.
Thanks for reading my long-winded post!
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