This is a great forum and I thank all of you for your advice and opinions based on facts and personal situations. Keep up the good work.
I'll try and be quick and to the point.
I have joint custody, pay CS, never wouldn't. I want to know what my chances would be to "upgrade" the final agreement to "shared custody".
Over the past weekend, my situation just got worse.
Our agreement, which is about 16 months old for our soon to be 3 year old girl is as follows.
Besides birthdays, holidays vacation time etc. I typically would get to see my daughter twice a week for a couple of hours and every second week from Wednesday 4pm to Saturday 1pm. This schedule was pretty much only based on my ex's work schedule because she used to work night shift for those three days.
At the time of agreement my daughter was18 months old. I had no money for a lawyer. I had no money to live. I was stuck in a vehicle that I pay $540 a month plus insurance, plus gas plus wear and tear. I am still paying for this van that I got to accommodate my ex and her two teenage children that I moved in with. I was $10K in dept before meeting my ex and her two kids. During the common-law divorce I got stuck with the debt incurred about $7K more for all the brand new stuff to have a nice live rented house. They had nothing but old stained gross furniture. They live with everything new. I got nothing but the stuff I brought into the relationship, which was not much left because we sold it to upgrade to new things. I got stuck with all credit card debts because it was under my name. They never had a car or anything. Thus I traded in my 2 seat short box sporty truck to get a minivan for our "family" (even before my daughter was born)
Needless to say I couldnt afford to live, so I had to go to a 10 x 17 room in my mothers place. Not fun for mid 30 year old. Well I am still there because my car payments are too high, and my debt is too high etc.
Over the time we had open and liberal discussions about visitation rights. We never had a problem with it. I could get and see her any time I wanted. I took her every wednesday and friday night, the open and liberal verbal agreements were great. Even when our daughter started daycare, i took her to daycare in the am and picked her up in the pm EVERYDAY for a year. It's not in the agreement, i chose to do it. Remember my ex doesnt have a car, so it also benefitted her. It brought a smile to my face every day that I can get a kiss good by when dropping her off at daycare, get a kiss hello when I get back there after work. Then would drive her back to her mom's house.
Well she has "moved on" and now has a new live in boy friend, with our 3 year old daughter and 2 teenage kids. The arguments are starting because she has it all once again. (They are all users). Anyway, my "services" are not needed anymore, so now I cant even take my precious little girl to daycare, because "he" can. And now we're back to my measly agreement and cant see her everyday like I used to.
Instead of rambling on.......
I still live in my mom's basement. Not fun. I still have no money. And now I dont see my girl much. Would there be a possibilty down the road when I do move out, to go apply for shared custody for 50% of the time with my daughter, when my living arrangements better for me?
I'll try and be quick and to the point.
I have joint custody, pay CS, never wouldn't. I want to know what my chances would be to "upgrade" the final agreement to "shared custody".
Over the past weekend, my situation just got worse.
Our agreement, which is about 16 months old for our soon to be 3 year old girl is as follows.
Besides birthdays, holidays vacation time etc. I typically would get to see my daughter twice a week for a couple of hours and every second week from Wednesday 4pm to Saturday 1pm. This schedule was pretty much only based on my ex's work schedule because she used to work night shift for those three days.
At the time of agreement my daughter was18 months old. I had no money for a lawyer. I had no money to live. I was stuck in a vehicle that I pay $540 a month plus insurance, plus gas plus wear and tear. I am still paying for this van that I got to accommodate my ex and her two teenage children that I moved in with. I was $10K in dept before meeting my ex and her two kids. During the common-law divorce I got stuck with the debt incurred about $7K more for all the brand new stuff to have a nice live rented house. They had nothing but old stained gross furniture. They live with everything new. I got nothing but the stuff I brought into the relationship, which was not much left because we sold it to upgrade to new things. I got stuck with all credit card debts because it was under my name. They never had a car or anything. Thus I traded in my 2 seat short box sporty truck to get a minivan for our "family" (even before my daughter was born)
Needless to say I couldnt afford to live, so I had to go to a 10 x 17 room in my mothers place. Not fun for mid 30 year old. Well I am still there because my car payments are too high, and my debt is too high etc.
Over the time we had open and liberal discussions about visitation rights. We never had a problem with it. I could get and see her any time I wanted. I took her every wednesday and friday night, the open and liberal verbal agreements were great. Even when our daughter started daycare, i took her to daycare in the am and picked her up in the pm EVERYDAY for a year. It's not in the agreement, i chose to do it. Remember my ex doesnt have a car, so it also benefitted her. It brought a smile to my face every day that I can get a kiss good by when dropping her off at daycare, get a kiss hello when I get back there after work. Then would drive her back to her mom's house.
Well she has "moved on" and now has a new live in boy friend, with our 3 year old daughter and 2 teenage kids. The arguments are starting because she has it all once again. (They are all users). Anyway, my "services" are not needed anymore, so now I cant even take my precious little girl to daycare, because "he" can. And now we're back to my measly agreement and cant see her everyday like I used to.
Instead of rambling on.......
I still live in my mom's basement. Not fun. I still have no money. And now I dont see my girl much. Would there be a possibilty down the road when I do move out, to go apply for shared custody for 50% of the time with my daughter, when my living arrangements better for me?
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