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  • anniversary ring

    just a question. My spouse really wanted one day a special ring. Our marriage was work in progress and was doing as much as I knew how to make things better for us. I took her to store and had her pick out diamond ring for 10yrs that we were together (6months ago)to show her my love and committment to her regardless of things,,, she already had in her mind we were not going to last as not two three months did she say we need to put end date to trying and then 2 more months and she finished it. I want the ring back to give to my daughter as she shouldnt of accepted it .
    She still would have orrig engage and wedding band.
    Should she give back?

  • #2
    Only if she also gives you back that cold you gave her the last time you kissed, and the extra sperm left over from when you conceived your daughter.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Mess View Post
      Only if she also gives you back that cold you gave her the last time you kissed, and the extra sperm left over from when you conceived your daughter.

      lol. Just to clarify she is the step mom. Deceitful to of accepted the ring.

      She is different person after I helped her through cancer and other medical issues and when she couldnt or wouldnt partake in the bedroom for 3+yrs due to lack of interest, medically,emotionally etc,,,,I tried to help her and help her through it and I was willing to put aside that for her.

      Its just another issue that will be raised at some point down road as well as many others and the fam dog. Those all matter more to her,,,,but if unreasonable I guess it can matter to both parties. Hope not though.

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      • #4
        You're asking an etiquette question on a legal forum. There is no legal obligation on her, and there is no way to enforce ettiquette.

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        • #5
          You gave it to her as a gift. It's hers. Forget about it.

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          • #6
            What about telling her that since you broke up so fast after giving her an expensive ring, you would like to return it and put the money into a college fund for your child. Nothing you can do legally but that does not mean that you can't try and get her to consent to something.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by cooper View Post
              I took her to store and had her pick out diamond ring for 10yrs that we were together (6months ago)to show her my love and committment to her regardless of things,,, .....
              I think you've answered your own question. You gave her a gift, a symbol of the time you'd been together, knowing things were rocky, regardless of how things were going. Not at all the same thing as an engagement ring where there is an expected outcome.

              Emily Post would say an engagement ring should be returned if the recipient called off the wedding, kept if the giver called off the wedding. Yours was simply a gift with no strings attached and Ms. Post would suggest, as a gift of love, it is hers to keep. There are no laws here in Canada to decide who gets to keep the ring or under what circumstances but a number of states in the US have passed laws on engagement rings.

              You said it yourself, you gave it to her regardless, she gets to keep it....regardless!

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              • #8
                Its a marital asset - it's half yours. She can keep it, but she can only keep half its value.

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                • #9
                  As someone that was divorced 10 years ago and came back here for some further advice I can say the following:

                  Mess is right - this is a moral issue and not really based on fact.

                  The ring was a gift. Where you went wrong in my opinion is trying to "buy love". You though, at the time, that she would jump back into your arms with a renewed spark based on a $1,000 or $100,000 ring. Women, (no offence intended), are not like that. They are emotional and if I learned one thing in life it is that you cannot buy love.

                  I said in an earlier post - forget the ring or the Bobby Orr hockey card, (credit to Mess), you have bigger issues to deal with. Chalk it up to experience and move forward.

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