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special expenses money being wasted can i stop the order

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  • #16
    Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
    Still makes absolutely no sense in relation to ensuring a child with a prescribed need for vitamins is actually provided with the vitamins via the money that is paid for them.

    Bizarre, really.
    Can't disagree with you there ...

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    • #17
      Law is law. Activism is another matter. Shoot me. I am merely a messenger. Nothing more.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by stripes View Post
        I should probably just put the keyboard down and step away, but I think MT is referring to positivism - the idea that an observer (a court in this case) can/should be absolutely unbiased and neutral. Knowledge and ensuing actions are based solely on premises which follow from objective evidence, not on any assumptions, desires or preconceptions of any party. Think Spock (Mr, not Dr). Completely unattainable in the realm of divorce.
        Hmm.. Yes and no. Basically, if a park had a "sign that said no dogs allowed" and a little boy dragged a toy puppy on a string through that park, should it be *posivist* because those signs state no dogs allowed. Is the law that literal? Or is there something more hopeful / meaningful?

        Look, I don't pretend to know it all, but I do know my heart when relations should be salvaged. The rest is unfortunately law, and it will depend if you get the constructionist or realist judge that presides your case. STUPID to thing about it but also a FREE education while I'm paying for it.

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        • #19
          I pay 200 extra a month for holistic suppliments for my autistic son , basically vitamins ,
          my ex is not provideing me with reciepts and last couple of times she has not send any thing when he visits , or a bag with empty bottles in it , payments are made via FRO
          i feel she is just grabbing cash can i have this stopped ,
          i love my boy but if she is not using the 200 on him why pay it
          On who's recommendation is she giving your child these supplements? Did his doctor's advise that he has them?

          The reason that I'm asking is because there's no clear understanding about how effective supplements and vitamins actually are. And vitamins can be rendered more ineffective by not taking them correctly in the right combinations. Also there is some research suggesting that they can be dangerous in the wrong dosages.

          She'd actually be a lot better off changing his diet to ensure that he's getting everything he needs from the foods he eats and cutting out certain things like white sugar, etc.

          And like you said, there's a chance she isn't even buying the supplements anyway.

          The problem with trying to cut off the $200 bucks is that it might be expensive to do if you use a lawyer. Your best bet would be to file the motion yourself to have the order reviewed and she'd have to prove why he needs the meds. If you lose, you're out the court costs though.

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          • #20
            I disagree. If you write her and clearly outline the facts:

            You are paying for the vitamins
            You are of the opinion he is not taking them given you aren't being supplied with any
            You are asking for clarification AND supporting documentation to prove that these are being purchased
            Seeking clarification why your son has been/gone without on xx, yy, zz dates
            Give 5 business days to respond in full and in writing
            Failing which you will commence a motion

            If SHE chooses to not provide the above and you proceed with the motion you will likely not be slapped with an order for costs - you did your due diligence and she was just being difficult and not providing them.

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            • #21
              Again OP, if you lose, you're out the court costs.

              Given that its $200 a month and its not clear as to why or even if he's taking the supplements, you have pertinent reasons to file a motion.

              If I were you, I'd be concerned about him taking the supplements. If not used correctly, they're potentially harmful. Regardless of the court action, I'd be asking her for some information.

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              • #22
                From a parent's perspective, you have the right to know more about these supplements; 1) What are they, 2) who suggested them and provided the dosage, and 3) Does your family doctor agree with the treatment.

                From a financial perspective, you need to know what they are and how much they cost.

                It smells like a cash grab to me. While I'm not an expert, I do know some activists who have autistic kids, and they promote therapies over supplements.

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                • #23
                  Quick Read:
                  Expert Q&A: Diet and Autism

                  They recommend trying eliminating gluten and casein(milk protein), adding Omega 3 fatty acids. But these aren't hard and fast rules. Some autistic kids have GI issues, and those could benefit from food elimination. Omega 3 is common supplement for ADHD as well, and I did give it to my son. Fish oil, flaxseed oil, both relatively cheap sources.

                  Here is a warning about one common supplement:
                  http://www.autismspeaks.org/science/...ism-supplement
                  Last edited by DowntroddenDad; 10-20-2014, 03:03 PM. Reason: Addition

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                  • #24
                    I disagree with PH - you *could* be out court costs. Not *will* be.

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                    • #25
                      Many websites and supposed "experts" recommend many different and often contradictory treatments. Every child should be assessed and treated individually in regards to the best treatment for them specifically. Google is not the right place to go, but rather a specialist.

                      Another thing to note, as many children with Autism are not able to express what they are experiencing, whether non-verbal, age (too young to understand or verbalize)or a lack of understanding of what they feel or why, many doctors rely on the information relayed to them by the parents to determine the most appropriate treatment.


                      The most recent, relevant and reliable online information for parents can be found through the Canadian and Ontario Autism Societies.

                      Note that the OP did NOT say that the supplements were a treatment FOR autism, but something they were providing for their autistic son.

                      Let's not start web-diagnosing options for the kid.

                      I am an agreement that the first step would be confirming with the doctors exactly what was prescribed, how much, how often and why as well as an understanding of the impact of not providing the treatment consistently. If it is not doctor prescribed, not being given consistently (obviously not helping and potentially harming) and not being purchased then it would seem that the $200 monthly cost is not valid and the OP SHOULD file a motion to have it stopped. $200 per month could go a long way towards a number of programs, activities or more beneficial things for a child with special needs.

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                      • #26
                        And I'm not trying to diagnose or suggest a specific course of action, what was trying to do was use some well respected sources to point out what was common - and $200 would not be common.

                        I mentioned the family doctor as the first point of reference, and that would be the best place to start.

                        Were I the original poster, I would schedule a visit with the child's general practitioner to discuss treatment options and supplements.

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                        • #27
                          But it's not about what's common. Its about:

                          Is he supposed to take them.
                          Is he taking them.
                          Can mom provide proof of same.
                          Why isn't she supplying them to dad if the above two points are true?

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                          • #28
                            I am an agreement that the first step would be confirming with the doctors exactly what was prescribed, how much, how often and why as well as an understanding of the impact of not providing the treatment consistently. If it is not doctor prescribed, not being given consistently (obviously not helping and potentially harming) and not being purchased then it would seem that the $200 monthly cost is not valid and the OP SHOULD file a motion to have it stopped. $200 per month could go a long way towards a number of programs, activities or more beneficial things for a child with special needs.
                            Agreed. I was simply suggesting that the $200 isn't the only issue.

                            Even if she is giving him the supplements, this OP needs more information about the medical implications.

                            Like the OP & DD said, its possible she's not even buying the supplements anymore anyway and just pocketing the money.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Hopefully, the original poster provides more info, to clarify.
                              As already stated, what is the current wording of your existing agreement/order? What does it cover, or outline?

                              (since that expense is being enforced through FRO - they must have something to enforce, in the order)

                              That would help you with what your options are.

                              Comment

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