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  • Joint custody breach of agreement

    Hi all,

    I'm in a joint custody / equal time situation.

    If my ex makes a health decision without me (and without notifying me) such as getting them the flu shot, do I have any recourse?

    I'm worrying about precedent and my ex building a case to show they should be the primary caregiver in efforts to get full custody.

    Thanks

  • #2
    I don't think taking the kids for a flu shot counts as breaching shared custody, unless you have some strong objection to the shot. Generally in joint custody the big decision are made together but smaller or day to day ones are made by whichever parent is around at the time. I take Kid for her flu shot every year and let ex know afterwards (so she doesn't end up getting two flu shots), and there's never been a problem.

    If you have 50/50, then you have plenty of time to exercise decision-making powers on your own time. Just make sure you stay involved with Kid's life and don't fall into the pattern of leaving everything to your ex to do (go to school meetings, talk to doctors, arrange Kid's social life, etc). As long as you're clearly willing to be an involved parent, shared custody shouldn't be an issue. A flu shot is not a big deal.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you good advice.

      So it still would have been a clear breach of the agreement as she made a medical decision without me.

      What is the deterrent, or potential penalty for this breach of agreement?

      Comment


      • #4
        I think a flu shot barely qualifies as a medical decision. It's a routine preventive measure which these days is available in any pharmacy. If you are determined to find some wrongdoing by mom, first ask yourself:

        Do you object on medical grounds to the flu shot?
        If Mom had consulted you, would you have refused to allow the kids to receive the flu shot?

        If the answer to both questions is "no", you don't really have a problem with mom's decision-making. Really, this is so trivial it's not even worth wasting time on.

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        • #5
          I have joint/equal time as well, and took both my kids for flu shots the other week. The idea that I should of consulted with my ex before getting that done is absurd.

          If she were to have made an issue out of it, I would likely laugh at her, and tell her she is attempting to create issues out of nothing, and to find more important battles to fight.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks for your replies.

            Okay hear you loud and clear on the flu shot.

            Substitute flu shot for something more serious.

            I'm more interested in what the deterrent and repercussions are for deviations on the child custody portion of an agreement. I'm scared to think of another example for fear of it being menial

            But let's say the child needed an optional surgery and the other parent wasn't consulted, and lined it up without consulting the other parent?

            Comment


            • #7
              You could go for a contempt motion. In not the most familiar with it, but my understanding of them, is that until it's been an ongoing issue you'll generally get a warning or slap on the wrist for the opposing party.

              You know your ex, so your going to have an understanding of what it takes to get something done with them. My ex and I are pretty flexible with each other and our agreement (now), but in the past when I felt she overstepped or became unreasonable, everything went immediately back to exactly as per the agreement until the point was made, and I would then back down and become more flexible and 'reasonable'.

              Personally I was on the other end of your situation in the past. I had to take my daughter to Doctors with my Ex not realizing or supporting it, as she refused to believe there was anything wrong.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by stripes View Post
                I think a flu shot barely qualifies as a medical decision. It's a routine preventive measure which these days is available in any pharmacy.
                Correct. Flu shots are now classified as "routine". Also, it is something provided for and paid for by the government. Our courts, which are operated by our government, will not rule against any child getting a flu shot. Think about it long and hard as to why a government agency will not say another government agency is doing something "wrong"...

                Also, look it up in www.canlii.org... Courts order flu shots and do not punish parents for getting them. They are following the advice of the government and something more important... EVIDENCE BASED MEDICINE.

                Listen to stripes.

                Good Luck!
                Tayken

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by climber9 View Post
                  Substitute flu shot for something more serious.
                  Ok.

                  Originally posted by climber9 View Post
                  But let's say the child needed an optional surgery and the other parent wasn't consulted and lined it up without consulting the other parent?
                  Have you ever seen the consent form for any surgical procedure? If not, you should go to your closest major medical center and ask for a copy of one. They are not little documents nor will a doctor accept a single parent's signature on them.

                  Read policy 3-15 of the CPSO:

                  | Consent to Treatment | Policy | Policies & Publications | College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario

                  Per policy 3-15 of the CPSO they will need a court order stating that the signing parent has the authority to make the soul decision or your consent.

                  So, you are worrying about NOTHING.

                  Surgeons are extreme professionals and take this stuff very serious. They will not proceed on anything without the appropriate consent. Their very livelihood depends on the i's and t's being dotted and crossed. They don't willy nilly do anything when it comes to surgery. Especially elective surgery. They are some of the most governed professionals in the world!

                  You are worrying about NOTHING.

                  In addition: You will look like a complete idiot if you oppose this stuff and will only end up finding yourself at the wrong end of a "sole custody" award should you bring things like this into the court seeking contempt or anything. It just demonstrates you are an anxious parent who is not able to make the right medical decisions.

                  Good Luck!
                  Tayken
                  Last edited by Tayken; 01-20-2017, 02:04 PM.

                  Comment

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