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  • #61
    Originally posted by CanaryMom View Post
    As previously stated, I'll be going to court
    As has been said many times in this thread: go ahead, knock yourself out

    Originally posted by CanaryMom View Post
    I may post again regarding other issues and I would hope that you people will be fair and not bully me every time I ask a questions.
    We're not judges. Nothing of value to offer you. Nothing comparable to your comprehensive research anyway.

    Comment


    • #62
      Originally posted by CanaryMom View Post
      It's really ok that eveyone is coming down so hard on me. I know that if any one of you had been through what I've been through you'd be singing a different tune. At the end of the day I know that I work hard, gave up a lot of opportunity which allowed him to become the success he is today, and just when it became my turn to start developing a career, he bailed. I've suffered more than anyone could ever know. Now, after ten years, he is finally working 40 hours a week instead of the 70 while he was with me, and when I had to singlehandedly raise the kids so that he could get to the place he is today. It was my turn to start working more to get to a similar place, and for him to pick up the pieces on the evenings and weekends, with the kids. After my sacrifices, he became successful and then walked out. Now he and his trash girlfriend are spending cozy weekends skiing and enjoying life, while I'm left alone and starting from scratch.
      No one is disagreeing with you about the fact that you've been wronged.

      What we are disagreeing with it is your notion of using the family court system (and wasting our tax $$ which supports you and pays your legal aid lawyer) as a means of extracting vengence.

      And yes, there are people here who've been through MUCH worse then you. People who were abused by their spouse, physicall, mentally and emotionally. There are many here whose spouse cheated on them.

      Your situation really isn't all that original or unique.

      I have been informed that legal aid has to move forward with my wishes and I don't have to agree to anything that my lawyer urges or suggests. My lawyer also told me just today that she highly doubts I'll ever have to pay fees to him as I am a single Mom with THREE children and have very little income. The child suport is for my children, not for me. My lawyer says that despite what is being said here, a judge will not take from CS to pay his legal fees as it's not in the best interests of the children.
      Bolded the part of importance. "Highly doubts" is not a guarantee. Should your ex's be deemed reasonable by the courts and the judge orders an amount similar to those offers, it is probable that the judge may also award costs.

      What are you arguing in court? What part of his offers are unreasonable to you? What evidence are you bringing to court to support your position that you need more?

      If you have no position and offer no evidence other then "he cheated" the judge is likely to make short work of the trial. How? By simply not hearing matters relating to the infidelity.

      The judge wants to hear about:

      what is your parenting plan (custody etc)
      what amounts are to be used for equalization
      what amounts are being proposed for ss
      etc.

      If the judge hears "he cheated, I want more", the judge is likely to say "ma'am, I understand your feelings in this matter, but unfortunately this information is completely irrelevent to the matter at hand. Can we please move this along." If you don't, all you will do is piss off the judge.

      As previously stated, I'll be going to court and when I'm done, I'll be sure to post my court case here so that you can all see that I was right. Funny isn't it how my lawyer and other people I know have never had to pay their ex's fees, yet you bullies are say the opposite.

      I have no idea at this point how long it takes to get a trial date so I won't give an estimate of how long before I post my case here, but I do promise to be back. As a matter of fact, I may post again regarding other issues and I would hope that you people will be fair and not bully me every time I ask a questions.
      Edit - us bullies aren't saying you will end up paying his costs. We are saying that if you abuse the courts time and use it as a means to rail against your ex, the courts MAY find that your actions wasted unnecessary time and money and MAY cause you to pay your ex's legal fees. Us bullies further provided you evidence (case law) that shows the courts do award costs, notwithstanding low income.

      Well, good luck with whatever you do. I do feel sorry for your children that they are going to have to suffer through not only the divorce but your blatent abuse of the courts as a means to slag their father. Because, they are part you and part him. I given your need to slag him court, I highly doubt you shelter them for your disparaging comments about their other parent....

      You should read divorce poison. It may do you some good.

      Considering you say you have a university education, you really aren't all that bright.
      Last edited by HammerDad; 02-03-2012, 03:58 PM.

      Comment


      • #63
        Well said Hammerhead...I for one am looking forward to this "update"...however like I stated...I doubt that when we turn out to be right she will post any sort of update to that matter... or who knows...maybe the Judge will ream her a new one and she will realize that people who HAVE and ARE going through this know a little more than she thinks they do.

        Comment


        • #64
          Originally posted by Tayken View Post
          1. Listen to your solicitor. Solicitors are a sounding board.

          2. Family Law system does not dish out "justice" as one would want. You may find yourself with worse than you you have been offered.

          3. There is great presidence from a regular poster on this website that has established that yes, YOU CAN have costs awarded against you if you have legal aid.

          Here is the presidence that proves your friend is wrong and why you should listen to your solicitor:

          CanLII - 2011 ONSC 7476 (CanLII)

          1. The popular beverage has a catchy slogan: “Red Bull gives you wings.”
          2. But at this costs hearing, the self-represented Respondent father suggested a wry variation: “Legal Aid gives you wings.”
          3. He now seeks costs in relation to a 17 day custody trial which resulted in my 606 paragraph judgment dated November 9, 2011. He won; sole custody. The Applicant mother was represented by counsel. Her poor finances qualified her for Legal Aid. Now she says those same poor finances should excuse her from paying costs.
          4. The Respondent asks a valid question: Does she have wings? Can she do whatever she wants in court, without ever worrying about fees – hers or anyone else’s?


          I highly recommend you read the above posted decision IN DETAIL with your legal aid solicitor prior to going to trial. It has a very important lesson for all litigants to learn embedded in it and going to trial.


          Good Luck!
          Tayken
          As we know now thouse type of people does not listen to enyone. My ex's solicitor also told her to accept offer ... LegalAID give you wing? Heh

          PS:
          Taken I am trying to get a hold of you - can you get back to me ?

          Comment


          • #65
            "The child suport [sic] is for my children, not for me. My lawyer says that despite what is being said here, a judge will not take from CS to pay his legal fees as it's not in the best interests of the children."
            The last time I went to court, 1/2 my exes costs were deducted from child support. I didn't have a job then and the judge didn't care what hardship it would be for the kids receiving no child support for several months.
            A judge WILL take from CS to pay his legal fees. It does happen. It's happened to me.
            We're just telling you the ugly truth. If you don't want to face it, that's your choice.

            Comment


            • #66
              Originally posted by tenacious199 View Post
              Oh and by the way I am in the legal field ....You mysogonists figure out what part....
              Wait, wait, I know: Your BFF's son works at the McDonald's across the street from the local ambulance-chaser's post office box?

              No?

              Well, no matter: If you are indeed "in the legal field" (and I sincerly doubt that you are, although I have no doubt that you are definitely out in a field somewhere... a left one, even), your attitude and diction guarantee that you won't be for long.

              I'm curious: are you suggesting that the many women who posted their views in this thread are "mysogonists" [sic] as well?

              Cheers!

              Gary

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                Oh! Only 50%?? So then there really is NO reason why you should only have a part time job...common everyone...lets here from those who have their kids OVER 50% of the time and have FULL TIME jobs and are able to bring in OVER $20,000...
                - I have the kids 100% of the time (mom lives thousands of miles away) and work full-time. I don't get CS but I DO pay her SS... figure THAT one out!

                - My best friend has had 50/50% of three girls since they were aged 5 through 12 and works full time. Ironically, the girls' mom, a dual-qualified (ER and OR) RN says she can't work full time because she has to be home to take care of the girls (now aged 9 through 16). Oh, and although she's willfully underemployed, he pays her SS and CS.

                - A woman on this forum has her 2 kids 99.9% of the time, works full time, and worked full time WHILE GOING TO COLLEGE so she could better provide for them. No SS or CS. Oh, and she's been working full time (often TWO jobs) since she was a kid herself.

                So, 3 quick examples off the top of my head. See if you can guess what the 3 of us (and the rest of those like us) have to say to all of the whiners who "can't" work, who "can't" support themselves and/or just want their "fair share" ... Go ahead, guess!

                Bunchafuckingwhineyassedloserbloodsuckinggutterdwe llingfreeloaders

                Cheers!

                Gary
                Last edited by Gary M; 02-05-2012, 12:15 PM.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by Gary M View Post
                  - I have the kids 100% of the time (mom lives thousands of miles away) and work full-time. I don't get CS but I DO pay her SS... figure THAT one out!
                  Gary-that's f'd !

                  -I will add one more...I have my kids 50% (week on/off) and I work in IT 60-80h/week...when I have the kids I sign on and work after they are in bed, and back on before they are up... I get no SS or CS. It can be done...

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by CanaryMom View Post
                    my income would be above 20k if I wasn't left raising 3 children 50% of the time!
                    my list:
                    Hmmmm...university degree..check
                    Ft job.....check
                    child 50% of the time..... check
                    studying for masters pt...check
                    doing my own legal case.....check

                    please explain how you cant do what the rest of us do? what kind of tiara is shoved up your...oh look, a squirrel~!

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                      what kind of tiara is shoved up your...oh look, a squirrel~!
                      (ME) <----- busting a gut here

                      Cheers!

                      Gary

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        I was trying to be nice...had to distract myself since "nice" doesnt apply here!

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          You want to have your day in Court to bitch about your ex cheating on you??? Go on "Dr. Phil", your VOICE might be heard there ; )

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Oh and yeah, you never did answer the question some posters asked you- How does your ex manage to take care of the kids 50% of the time and work FULL time???? Why can't you???? If the Judge is at LEAST half awake during your trial, he/she will see right through you! And hopefully the Judge (no disrespect intended) didn't get laid the night before and will SLAM you with your ex's Legal Fees.

                            As for your attorney telling you that the Judges do not take the money out of CS to pay for Legal Fees, you forget one HUGE detail!!!! You also ask for SS.

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              I for one eagerly await updates from this chick. Other than that, I'm not wasting my breath on trying to point out how wrong she is, she obviously doesn't want to hear it.

                              /popcorn anyone?

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Let me dumb this down for you since that University degree hasn't kicked in yet.

                                At the end of the day I know that I work hard, gave up a lot of opportunity which allowed him to become the success he is today, and just when it became my turn to start developing a career, he bailed. I've suffered more than anyone could ever know. Now, after ten years, he is finally working 40 hours a week instead of the 70 while he was with me, and when I had to singlehandedly raise the kids so that he could get to the place he is today.
                                This is called "marriage" (pronounced mar-ij) It is the combined total of two people, usually a man and a woman, living together and making decisions and sometimes sacrifices for the good of the combined union. Welcome to the planet!

                                Although I have no doubt that if I was married to someone like you, I'd probably want to spend a lot of time at work...I'm sure he worked most of those 70 hours to provide a stable financial situation for you and your kids...which he did and obviously still continues to do. You on the other hand stayed home and raised the children. Which is why he is now offering fair deals for both child and SPOUSAL SUPPORT. That is exactly the purpose why spousal support was created. You are getting far more than an equitable division of assets considering that you only have the children 50% of the time.

                                After my sacrifices, he became successful and then walked out. Now he and his trash girlfriend are spending cozy weekends skiing and enjoying life, while I'm left alone and starting from scratch.
                                Since you like to rant about your rights so much...understand his. He was clearly not satisfied with your marriage and the person that he married...so he has the right to make the decision to divorce you. He also has the right to form new, hopefully happier relationship with a different woman than you. I hope for his sake he makes a better match this time.

                                You are not "starting from scratch" as you clearly stated you took the large majority of marital assets (except that boat) and are getting child and spousal support offers. Many women have to find new, more cost-effective places to live and get no spousal support because they both had children and worked during marriage. Did it ever occur to you that your husband might also resent the sacrifices he had to make to leave his children and work 70 hour weeks because his life partner wouldn't get off her fat ass to work despite that university degree you keep mentioning?

                                My lawyer also told me just today that she highly doubts I'll ever have to pay fees to him as I am a single Mom with THREE children and have very little income. The child suport is for my children, not for me. My lawyer says that despite what is being said here, a judge will not take from CS to pay his legal fees as it's not in the best interests of the children.
                                You took the home, the contents of the home and you'll be getting spousal support. The judge doesn't have to touch the CS...you have plenty of other assets...more than most divorced women get. You rant and rave about your 3 kids. Well, I know women that work with more kids than you...and get divorced with worst circumstances than you.

                                You are not special. You do not possess more charm, or wit, or skill than the women that I know that have been screwed in divorce. Your divorce situation is perfectly ordinary.

                                And your husband left you for a reason. What you should be doing is figuring out what that reason is in a therapy session so that you can figure out your own culpability and fix your issues. Your bitterness and hatred of him is very evident but you will receive no remedy in court for it. In fact, no one will care. You will have no forum to scream and rant and rave. You will be told to be quiet so that legal matters can be dealt with. You will not embarrass him because obviously his embarrassment came from being married to you. Now that he's free, you hold no power to do anything to him. Nothing...you need to put on your big girl panties, get a life and move on. If you weren't such a bitter hag, you'd even have a chance of finding a new guy to take ski trips with yourself.

                                As a matter of fact, I may post again regarding other issues and I would hope that you people will be fair and not bully me every time I ask a questions.
                                Considering that we aren't lawyers and judges, why bother? You obviously are pig-headed and won't listen anyway. Go talk to your friend on social services for legal advice from now on. They're obviously the expert for you.

                                I have no idea at this point how long it takes to get a trial date so I won't give an estimate of how long before I post my case here, but I do promise to be back.
                                Again, no one cares. You wouldn't be honest anyway. In fact, I'd bet you have a problem with honesty most of the time because if you looked at reality, you'd have to admit your own faults and you seem to be one of those people who can't accept the part of the blame for any situation. Everything in your life is someone else's fault. You're just a victim...with that "poor me" mentality allllll the time. That's why your husband got to the point where he probably just was willing to pay whatever he had to to get away from you and your whining.

                                Go away...go to court and try to whine there on the taxpayers dime. You will not be able to accomplish what you're after. Just remember when the judge hands you that big cup of shut-the-hell-up...we told you so!

                                Comment

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