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  • Kid not attending school

    Asking for a friend...

    Kid has decided not to have contact with one parent for almost 5 months now. Kid also refused to go to school and has missed the past 2.5 weeks of 9th grade. Kid is refusing therapy/doctors. Kid sits at home all day. Parent says they can't "force" the kid to do things and won't take away electronics/friends/etc. There is an open file with the courts. What could the school and judge at the next case conference do to enforce school attendance?

  • #2
    Technically they can force the kid to go and it’s their job to do it BUT you can’t force them to force the kid to go and taking it to court is a waste of money and resources. Unfortunately both the parent and kid are destroying a life.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you both.

      They are already in court for other issues so this will be brought up at the next case conference as the judge has been monitoring it. Not really looking for a legal play but looking to see if the school or judge can enforce attendance or mandate therapy? Or its a lost cause/no one cares...

      Comment


      • #4
        Essentially court or school won’t do anything, except or raising concerns, booking meetings and driving your legal costs up. And of course that all nothing will be done in “best interest of a child”.

        Comment


        • #5
          Truancy officer will investigate. Grade 9 is 13-14yr old.

          Students must stay in school or an equivalent learning program approved by the Ministry of Education until they are 18.

          Parents who neglect to send, or refuses to let, their children go to school can be charged for their child’s truancy.

          12-15 year olds who regularly skip or refuse to go to school can be charged with truancy. The maximum fine is $1000 and/or up to 1 year of probation time. While on probation, students are required to attend school; and if the student skips school again, they can be sent to jail for up to 30 days. Students who are charged should speak to a lawyer.

          https://jfcy.org/en/rights/right-to-attend-school/

          The school is legally obligated after a specific number of days to get a Attendance Officer involved. It doesn't just end with the "home school" excuse... They actually will test the child to make sure "home schooling" is happening.

          People here have played this game and the government will win every time. YOu can speed up the process by reporting the false absences as a parent to the school.

          Comment


          • #6
            It sounds great in theory, but I am talking from experience. My alienated by mother kid missed school for almost 2 years. I was paying support etc. Case judge “raised a concern” and ordered me to pay for psychologist (which was financially difficult due to high child support, but I did pay) but child refused talking to therapist. I haven’t seen child for almost a year, I have paid all that judge ordered, yet somehow it still remains my problem, while good mother so much worries about a kid.
            When kid was with me not a single day in school was missed, not once, and kid was an A student. Attendance Officer from school board usually gets involved in few weeks, there are meetings with mother in school (virtual) but results are the same.
            We brought it to judge 3 times already. I know everyone in school board. An OCL is involved. Result is Zero

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Bogdan View Post
              Pretty much sums up my experience with this matter, as well as many other ones.
              Call the truancy officers directly and ask them to investigate. Seriously its not even a part of that court system so you clearly just thought the system would solve your problem. You need to call and report the truancy and ask for it to be investigated.

              14 occurrences in my history of working with people in same situation. 14 truancy officers engaged. 5 parents charged. 100% of all reported issues for parents that reported children returned to school.

              Call the school board and they will help you out. As well, talk to the school principal directly. If they don't listen to you have your lawyer contact them.

              Sitting on your hands and waiting for "justice" from the "system" isn't going to happen. This isn't an issue that the family law court enforces.

              Also you can report it to CAS.
              Last edited by Tayken; 09-29-2022, 03:59 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by SmallTalker View Post
                It sounds great in theory, but I am talking from experience. My alienated by mother kid missed school for almost 2 years. I was paying support etc. Case judge “raised a concern” and ordered me to pay for psychologist (which was financially difficult due to high child support, but I did pay) but child refused talking to therapist.
                I call BS hard and fast. See, clinicians work on a per-hour billing. If the child doesn't attend and doesn't schedule clinical encounters than the cost to you is 0.0$. So maybe at most you had one clinical encounter, which at the most would be 350$. If you were expected to pay an up-front retainer you would have gotten 100% back if the child did not attend.

                So you paid nothing as the child didn't attend. Maybe you paid to get the order but, you didn't go back to court to have the order enforced. Your fail not the systems.

                You need to be better educated on how family law works and how actively involved you need to be.

                Originally posted by SmallTalker View Post
                I haven’t seen child for almost a year, I have paid all that judge ordered, yet somehow it still remains my problem, while good mother so much worries about a kid.
                Non access is something you need to file a motion on for contempt.

                Read Scrivo v. Scrivo and all the related cases to it.

                https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...4onsc3779.html

                This forum is familiar with it. Because the offending mother was posting here at one point. So if you search this forum you can see all the posts of the mother in this case. Do what the father's lawyer did and you will get to resolution.


                Originally posted by SmallTalker View Post
                When kid was with me not a single day in school was missed, not once, and kid was an A student. Attendance Officer from school board usually gets involved in few weeks, there are meetings with mother in school (virtual) but results are the same.
                We brought it to judge 3 times already. I know everyone in school board. An OCL is involved. Result is Zero
                SCRIVO v. SCRIVO

                have your lawyer read that case and do the same pattern.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                  Call the truancy officers directly and ask them to investigate. Seriously its not even a part of that court system so you clearly just thought the system would solve your problem. You need to call and report the truancy and ask for it to be investigated.

                  14 occurrences in my history of working with people in same situation. 14 truancy officers engaged. 5 parents charged. 100% of all reported issues for parents that reported children returned to school.

                  Call the school board and they will help you out. As well, talk to the school principal directly. If they don't listen to you have your lawyer contact them.

                  Sitting on your hands and waiting for "justice" from the "system" isn't going to happen. This isn't an issue that the family law court enforces.

                  Also you can report it to CAS.
                  Spent few days calling the school board. There is no Truancy Officer in this school board (GTA) at least they didn’t connect me with one. The closest they have is a social worker, that puts a great efforts though achieved nothing in prior year, and according to social worker family situation is beyond their scope of responsibility, and the only thing they can do is talk to a child. If child will agree talking to them.

                  I haven’t talked to CAS in a last year, but year ago they washed their hands and after number of meetings closed the file suggested going to family court. I did at a time followed up with CAS to talk to their management - no one ever returned calls.

                  Regarding your other post psychologist does charge per hour, and the no show still charged, same as your dentist will charge you for missed appointment - I don’t know if it is legal or not, but sounds fair. Dentist doesn’t take $4,500 retainer though for upcoming 20 sessions of your cleaning, but let it be my biggest issue.

                  I did look into case you quoted- seems to me good 25-30k in legal fees which I simply don’t have and lawyer won’t work without money. I do appreciate your response and time spent to research- thank you.

                  If you or anyone have more suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by SmallTalker View Post
                    Spent few days calling the school board. There is no Truancy Officer in this school board (GTA) at least they didn’t connect me with one.
                    https://www.tdsb.on.ca/About-Us/Prof...dance-Services

                    They call it "attendance counsellors".

                    Right off the website:

                    Attendance counsellors are assigned to address attendance issues at the secondary school level. At the elementary level the school social worker is responsible for these referrals.
                    Call these people directly:

                    Learning Centre 1 Adolph Williams 416‑394‑3388
                    Learning Centre 2 Rose D'Alimonte 416‑396‑3400
                    Learning Centre 3 Yulanda Julien 416-988-1587
                    Learning Centre 4 Wendy Shaw 416‑394‑3767
                    Not sure what education office your child belongs to. Again right off the website.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Right, I talked to one of those folks, they have dual role of social worker/attendance counsel.
                      I am dealing with same attendance counsel/social worker for last 2.5 years. That specialist opens file, maintains it for few month, and then typically closing it claiming they failed this time, but will do so much better next semester. It came to a point I know days, weeks, months in advance what they will be doing, as they repeating same steps over and over and fail over and over. Kid doesn’t talk to them, and doesn’t attend school.



                      I spoke with same specialist again week ago. They offered exactly same approach of “attempting talking to a child” When I pointed that maybe they should switch approach or talk to other parent instead I’ve got a very aggressive lecture that they are social worker and not me, and I shouldn’t be advising them how to do their work. They absolutely refuse idea to fine other parent for truancy.
                      I called school board, explained situation, and after few days of internal research they produced name of same social worker to discuss this issue.


                      Thank you for your response.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by SmallTalker View Post
                        Right, I talked to one of those folks, they have dual role of social worker/attendance counsel.
                        I am dealing with same attendance counsel/social worker for last 2.5 years. That specialist opens file, maintains it for few month, and then typically closing it claiming they failed this time, but will do so much better next semester. It came to a point I know days, weeks, months in advance what they will be doing, as they repeating same steps over and over and fail over and over. Kid doesn’t talk to them, and doesn’t attend school.



                        I spoke with same specialist again week ago. They offered exactly same approach of “attempting talking to a child” When I pointed that maybe they should switch approach or talk to other parent instead I’ve got a very aggressive lecture that they are social worker and not me, and I shouldn’t be advising them how to do their work. They absolutely refuse idea to fine other parent for truancy.
                        I called school board, explained situation, and after few days of internal research they produced name of same social worker to discuss this issue.


                        Thank you for your response.

                        So in other words you are trying to control everyone to do what you want and not getting anywhere.

                        You can’t make them do what you want. You made the attempts to get something done and it wasn’t. All you are going to do is drive your kid and your ex to continue to do the things they know you hate. Your kid is 14. They will learn that life has nothing for you when you don’t put in effort.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Rocksan, my post was not to vent out or look for sympathy - it was my observation to OP - his friend’s kid doesn't attend school for few weeks, my for over 2 years.
                          In my personal experience there isn’t much can be done here, which I have responded based on my experience.

                          Furthermore, giving valuable input from Tayken I’ve got an inspiration for yet another round with school just to figure out that essentially I was already making very same steps (with school) he described.

                          Comment

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