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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 03-25-2009, 09:58 AM
davedad davedad is offline
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Default Recommendations for mediator?

Hi Everybody

My ex would like to move forward with our agreement/divorce, but the early stages show that we're a bit further apart in our expectations than we thought. If it matters, the matrimonial home was sold and split 4 years ago, finances are split and divided (1 joint account for kid-expenses), and the kids have been week on/week off for about 3 years. Don't ask me where we're differing in expectations because all I want is a continuation/formalization of the status quo, but an agreement takes both sides...Rather than fighting or paying legal bills, I think we'll try mediation...

That being said, can anyone give me names and recommendations on mediators that they have had experience with or know of people who have?

Oh, and if anyone can comment on the status quo relevance? By that I mean, if things did go all the way to court, how much weight does 3 or 4 years of successful status quo count? Being a father, and reading the stories here about the bias against men, I am very leery and nervous.

Thanks a lot...
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Old 03-25-2009, 11:32 PM
FreeNow FreeNow is offline
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How could anyone recommend a mediator when nobody knows where you live?
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Old 03-26-2009, 12:07 AM
davedad davedad is offline
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Good point - I forgot that the Ottawa forum is wider than just Ottawa.

I'm in Ottawa...
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Old 03-26-2009, 05:58 PM
Max22258 Max22258 is offline
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I recommend using this web site Ontario Association for Family Mediation: Maps to find out, does your ex want the status quo.
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Old 03-26-2009, 06:00 PM
Max22258 Max22258 is offline
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Ministry of the Attorney General - Family Law Resources Forgot about this site
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Old 03-26-2009, 08:27 PM
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dadtotheend dadtotheend is offline
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Maintenance of the status quo is very important to the court. It is one of the most compelling custody/access factors because of the children's need for a stable routine.
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Old 03-27-2009, 11:29 AM
davedad davedad is offline
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Well, she has made noises of changing the status quo -- ie me dropping to every-second-weekend/one day, paying support, and no longer being a joint custody etc.

So, a teeny bit of a change to the status quo...

There hasn't been any change of any signficance at all to justify the change, she just doesn't agree with me on things and has decided that I"m not really a good parent anymore.

I don't think she will go as far as a court challenge. If she does, and the case is deemed "frivolous" or "malicious" (something a friend told me could happen), she might be penalized with all court costs (including mine) for it? I won't go into details and waste anyone's time, but suffice it to say I'm not a bad parent...

Thanks for all of your input and suggestions, those websites are really useful.
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