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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 04-30-2019, 04:17 PM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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i have a slower day today and reading older threads
this resonates with me because i am seeing early evidence of this in my kids

my daughter is 6 and son is 4

separated since september, case conference in 2 weeks...awful situation, the op story resonates with me in a lot of ways

basically, the ex has gotten away with a lot of shit so far (placing a hidden camera in the house, depleting all marital funds, removing all contents from the house and placing in her house including all the kids stuff while i was away) and will be addressed at the case conference..also very early evidence of interference with access

spent the whole last weekend convincing my 6 year old that daddy is not "bad" and that she shouldn't be afraid to talk about my family at her mom's house (she is scared what her mom will say if she prays for my brother with cancer bc the ex makes them all sleep in one bed)..her family feeds them stuff regarding my family being bad

i understand when kids are younger its easier to still mould them and as time goes on they will see dad as being level headed and realize that im not bad...

just any advice or suggested game plan to try and stop this or use this for custody...i am also living with my parents as an extra layer of support and to mitigate brainwashing and the kids love being with my parents (but still hard seeing my 6 year old confused and saying things that a 6 year old could not know)

I have kept everything documented in redic detail (complete list of all items removed, detailed accounting of every dime she spent vs me, proof of the cameras, all the comments from my kids, etc) and likely will have to have custody and access and OCL for the kids
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Old 05-01-2019, 09:03 AM
Tired_Dad Tired_Dad is offline
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I'm sorry you're going through all this. I know what it feels like and hurts more than anyone could imagine. Some things to remember are... she's doing this out of vengeance/anger/jealousy, she wants to have control over you, she doesn't mind playing dirty, etc... Remember that this is not your children's fault! It never was and never will be. Stay true to who you are and always be upbeat and pleasant around them. It will only strengthen their idea that you are always calm, happy, approachable, etc... Same goes with all your family. Never bring up your ex to the children unless they do (and always make it pleasant and happy). If the conversation goes into serious questioning about affairs they shouldn't be involved in, ALWAYS keep them out of it by saying "that sounds important to you. This sounds like it's bothering you. You don't have to worry about those things. I will talk with your Mom/Dad about this and we will figure something out. Please know that we love you and will always do what's best for you". My children are older and I've done all I can to keep them out of it. My ex is constantly bringing them into it and now has our middle child committing illegal activities. I've been trying to get my ex to take ownership of a car for over 1.5 years. She just refuses to do it! She's now claiming that she's giving it to our daughter (when she hasn't put it in her name) and allowed her to drive it with expired stickers. Now our child has ordered stickers online (falsifying my identify) and then putting them on the car (opening mail addressed to me "federal offence" to access said stickers for the car! I've had to notify the police after I was notified about the repercussions to my if anything happened to the vehicle with expired stickers. That's how I found out about the illegal apprehension of the stickers. All I can say is that divorce seems to bring out the worst in people and can make them to horrendous things to get their way! My ex is coming after me for $$$... I'm at the point where I believe it's in my best interest to sit in front of a judge and have the judge tell me what I should do (and hear about all that my ex has done!!!). Good luck to you and stay positive for your children. It sounds like they will need you more than you know.
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Old 05-01-2019, 09:12 AM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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Thx for advice
We do not talk about their mom

Just hoping a judge can recognize this next week..we had 2 x in 4 weeks where she flat out refused to give me my kids bc they were crying
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