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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 12-16-2013, 03:20 PM
ringettteplayer ringettteplayer is offline
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Default 14 days

Hi my kids dad has not seen or attempted to see our children in 2.5 months.
He now has asked for them for 14 days over Xmas.
I will agree but want them home for Xmas eve until 12noon Xmas day then he can have them back for the remainder of the days he has requested.
Does that sound fair? The kids do not want to go, but they will even though they don't like it there.
What do I do if he doesn't return the children to me Xmas eve? How do I go about that?
He will not offer me his proper address or phone number where the children will be when they are with him.
Obviously I feel a safety concern but what legal option do I have
No parenting orders no custody order.
No parenting plan either.
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Old 12-16-2013, 03:26 PM
shellshocked22 shellshocked22 is offline
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I don't know what your "legal" rights are but for what it's worth, my personal thoughts on your questions....

-I think you're being quite fair including Xmas eve and till noon on Xmas Day at your place - I suspect the children would prefer that since they are with you most of the time.

-If even for emergency contact reasons, I see nothing wrong - and indeed would expect it - for you to have his address and phone number should you need to reach the children for some reason.

-I suspect easier said than done, but for everyone's benefit, try to get some kind of child access agreement documented and in place.

-
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:16 PM
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Janibel Janibel is offline
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Hi my kids dad has not seen or attempted to see our children in 2.5 months.

And the reason for that is? Was he off working? what's the usual arrangement?

He now has asked for them for 14 days over Xmas.
I will agree but want them home for Xmas eve until 12noon Xmas day then he can have them back for the remainder of the days he has requested.
Does that sound fair? The kids do not want to go, but they will even though they don't like it there.

Absolutely, they should spend time with their father.

What do I do if he doesn't return the children to me Xmas eve? How do I go about that?

You are f'ed since you can't contact him.

He will not offer me his proper address or phone number where the children will be when they are with him.

For me, that would be a deal breaker right there ....No way nohow!!

Obviously I feel a safety concern but what legal option do I have
No parenting orders no custody order.
No parenting plan either


You say that you have safety concerns, then why haven't custody issues been taken care of legally at least in the interim?
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:24 PM
ringettteplayer ringettteplayer is offline
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Hi thanks janibel
He only calls when he wants to see them whenever their is no schedule!

Reason for no interim order? He has requested to adjourn court 9 times.

Thanks Shellshocked for your reply as well much appreciated!
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:32 PM
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Janibel Janibel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ringettteplayer View Post
Hi thanks janibel
He only calls when he wants to see them whenever their is no schedule!
I don't understand why your lawyer has not obtained an interim order in regards to custody issues? Nothing at all? no separation agreement?
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:37 PM
ringettteplayer ringettteplayer is offline
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I'm not sure how everything works. I have made the application for custody and cs and ss and divorce lol
He has never presented or made a parenting order or custody order therefore that means he is ok with the present arrangement therefore there is no need (from what I understand) to have an interim order
I could be way off...... I am nor do I claim to be any sort of an expert!
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Old 12-16-2013, 06:35 PM
Beachnana Beachnana is offline
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If you have legal counsel surely they could suggest a course of action to ensure that legally the children are to be returned to your care. Regardless of him only wanting to see the children when he feels like it and seems okay with no order what so ever. I would want a interim order, which I am sure you could go to the court and get before they go and stay with Dad. I believe, and i am sure there are those on the forum, who will either verify or correct me. You both have joint custody of the children so he is quite within his rights to keep them, until a court order is settled.

What if you said you want Dad to pick up from your house and you picked them up from his and returned them after your time with them? You have a right to know the address and phone number where the children will be staying. If he will not give it to you I would be wary of letting them go. He knows where you live so he should let you know where he is staying. No judgement of accommodations just you should know as a parent, much the same and he should know where they live when with you.

But without the home address the order will do you no good if you do not know where there are. It would make it hard to give the children a positive attitude to staying with Dad. I have been learning that it takes two to make a good parenting relationship. Thanks you all those straight shooters on the forum!
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Old 12-16-2013, 07:02 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Hey ringette - didn't you go through the same thing this time last year? I thought you had documentation all lined up? Are you trying to do this in Alberta or Ontario? If it's Alberta your lawyer can request same judge.
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Old 12-16-2013, 08:21 PM
ringettteplayer ringettteplayer is offline
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Hey Arabian
Lol I probably did go thru this last year! I'm not too concerned about this ongoing suit I'm just concerned about what happens if he doesn't return them? I was advised to get complete contact information and was just wondering if I was seeming fair/ generous with regards to Xmas and what/how do I approach it when he doesn't return them....
I'm sure I can get the legal expensive response tomorrow I was just curious if anyone had suggestions or advice with that? And if I seem generous and fair?!
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  #10  
Old 12-16-2013, 08:28 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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yep you are.
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