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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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  #31  
Old 01-05-2012, 09:51 PM
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Gary M Gary M is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mylesc View Post
wow this site is mostly full of angry people with control issues. very few contstructive comments.
The fact that it's not what you want to hear does not render the advice not constructive.

If everyone is telling you that you're wrong, maybe you need to think about that.

Or not... We really don't give a rat's ass.

Cheers!

Gary
  #32  
Old 01-05-2012, 10:31 PM
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Is there really nothing constructive we can provide to this poor father who just probably doesn't want to see his daughter turned into her mother before his very eyes?

Yes, he's going about it wrong, trying to dictate how his ex should parent. But I'm sure I've seen resources mentioned around here someplace about learning how to deal with shared parenting situations, and how to diplomatically phrase things to an ex to improve cooperation.

As far as my ideas go, maybe you can see about enrolling the child in some sort of weekly physical activity over the summer, and present it to your ex as a bit of a break during her week if you come collect your daughter for that couple of hours. You'd have to take a bit of time off work, but it sounds like it might be worth it. Or maybe get your daughter really interested in some sort of non-TV activity that she may also want to do at her mom's, like a craft, or Play-Doh.

And honestly, it's only for two summer months, every other week. During school, TV for before and after school won't be a huge issue, and then her mat leave year will be over, right? While it's annoying, it's not going to cause lasting harm to your daughter, but being controlling about it to your ex may cause lasting harm to your co-parenting relationship.
  #33  
Old 01-05-2012, 11:39 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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I think he hjas recieved plenty of helpful advice. but since he chooses to bash the advice then people tend to lose patience with someone who cant be reasoned with.

What I would give to just have this one concern....
  #34  
Old 01-05-2012, 11:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
I think he hjas recieved plenty of helpful advice. but since he chooses to bash the advice then people tend to lose patience with someone who cant be reasoned with.

What I would give to just have this one concern....
You said it, Sister

Cheers!

Gary
  #35  
Old 04-27-2012, 03:05 PM
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So we've had this issue come up in our home and we are a blended family with 5. He has 2 I have 2 and we share one together... Now it is a great oppertunity for D8 to be home with mom and mom will do lots of activities with her, I know when I was on mat leave the kids hated that they had to go to daycare (because the other parents fought even thought she paid 35% of daycare). Now keep in mind, if she has D8 during the day all days, make sure you are "providing her a daycare payment", come up with something reasonable... If it's 150$ a week and you pay 50/50 tell her you'll give her a cheque for 60$ a week... WHY you ask... Because if you don't and the patern is set and can look as thought she now has D8 more then 60% of the time thus she can go for more child support! So little daycare cheque or double support. My ex was all on board with havint to pay daycare cost on his days... D8 will love the time home with baby and mom, even if you feel she won't get certain activities etc... You can always sign her up for a few summer camps during the summer, say on your weeks...
  #36  
Old 05-01-2012, 03:13 PM
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I think the best advice going back to the original post, which was stated many times is to work with her to develop a new parenting plan since there is a change in circumstance (aka her being on maternity leave). Approach it from the child's perspective, now that mom doesn't work during the day, you can change the schedule so that D8 sees both parents EVERY DAY!

Approach your ex with a suggestive proposal (not a dictating one) on where D8 spends certain days with her and certain evenings with you, maybe attend daycare on certain days.

Put it in writting with your lawyers as a temp plan until her mat leave is over then the schedule gets put back to week on/off as of a certain date. Put stipulations in there that CS will remain offset, etc.

If she won't bite or negotiate, document everything and ask a judge to help showing you're working with a non-cooperative parent.
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