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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 12-27-2018, 10:27 PM
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So mom has to schlep kids to and from school... rules... bedtimes... homework.

Dad is the fun guy ... lazing around on the weekends... sleep in... video games.. and, as you say "vacations, camps, skiing, tennis, galleries, fishing, cottages, travel with my kids...."

Yep that nasty thing "mediation" is so irritating and inconvenient.
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  #12  
Old 12-28-2018, 09:06 AM
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You don't have to agree, especially if there is no material change.

However, if she is insisting there is a material change that calls for a change in the schedule, then you can also request to move to a week on/week off 50-50 schedule. Then you both get to be involved in school requirements and have weekends with them regularly.

Her reaction to this will tell you whether she truly believes she has a valid material change. A material change applies to any change in schedule, not just the change she wants to see. She would have a very difficult time reducing your time with the kids, material change or not.

If she wants to open the door for a material change to adjust the schedule, take the open door and move to a more practical schedule that is better for the kids, especially now that things are becoming contentious and she is involving the kids in it.
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  #13  
Old 01-03-2019, 02:50 AM
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Just curious, what is the current CS payment? Offset or full?
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  #14  
Old 01-04-2019, 11:24 PM
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net CS payment is $1350/mth to her (offset). I have he kids 3/7 days. No less than 40%.

When I go into mediation, I'm happy with no change in schedule but I'm going to re-propose 2255 schedule or week on week off. I'm hoping the mediators can convince the ex it's better for everyone so that we both get full weekends and our share of weekdays.

I think because the ideas come from me she won't listen to them.
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  #15  
Old 01-05-2019, 08:14 AM
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I am going through this right now. Ex husband trying to change signed agreement thatís been in place last 5 years. No material change. Of course they are lying to say their is...

I would say itís normal for kids sometimes to have hard time with the translations. My kids did and still do. I have to pep talk them before they go... they seem to do better when I tell them they have to see their dad and itís not a choice... daddy misses them. I didnít have to do this before as they usually would go on their own ok with just small resistance. My ex is not the father you sound like though. So kids have their reasons. When ex brought gf into the picture and kids didnít get along with her because She was running the show and dad lets her....
now we are in court. OCL involved (complete waste of time and money as Tayken and Janus have said in past). I donít think there is any reason for your time to lesson. Sorry your going through this with the kids. Sounds like your a great dad.


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  #16  
Old 01-05-2019, 11:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nofrills View Post
net CS payment is $1350/mth to her (offset). I have he kids 3/7 days. No less than 40%.
Being above 40% does NOT guarantee offset. It merely provides the opportunity. If you are below 40%, then you are paying table CS unless you can prove some pretty exceptional circumstances. Above 40% the judge can look at a number of factors.

You are at 42%, that is pretty close to being under 40%. Some judges calculate time in wonky ways that can easily put you under 40% (eg. assign all school hours to parent who spends more time with the kids).

You are not guaranteed offset at all.

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When I go into mediation, I'm happy with no change in schedule but I'm going to re-propose 2255 schedule or week on week off.
What I would do is print out 8 different 50% plans, and let her pick the one she likes best. You can even colour code them for ease of viewing in stereotypical pink and blue for mom and dad.

Ask her what she thinks the pros and cons are of each schedule, and which would be her top 3. The point is to move away from the discussion of whether 50% is correct, to what form the 50% will take.

Quote:
I'm hoping the mediators can convince the ex it's better for everyone so that we both get full weekends and our share of weekdays.
Mediators are not really there to convince anybody of anything. If you are expecting the mediator to do that you are going to be disappointed.

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I think because the ideas come from me she won't listen to them.
That's why you give her the 8 options and let her choose. She gets agency, you get what you want.
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