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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 03-20-2017, 08:59 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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Question What will trigger OCL to take the case?

Hello..sad to say I am back...again
Daughter is now 10. Nothing has changed. 50/50 time with joint custody (some exceptions)
We have exhausted our resources (parental counselling, 2 mediation agreements not followed, several counselors for child whom she would not open up to, CAS continuous involvement).
Child has admitted that Dad is punishing her whenever she tells counsellor/assessor that he is coaching her, punishing her etc.
Parental conflict continues, most recently with him refusing to pay increase in CS for 6 months (finally paid when he realized how bad that would look to a judge)
constant threats to take me back to court.

my child is too scared to tell anyone the truth.
what exactly will the OCL look for to accept involvement? I need to know what to write into the affadavit as I have mountains of evidence.
Can they assign both a lawyer and an assessor?
How much attention will they pay to CAS records, counselors already involved?
If I had a recording of my child talking about the dad's coaching and punishment, would they even consider it?
Thanks..I need to know where to start. the overwhelm is real
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  #2  
Old 03-21-2017, 01:04 AM
trinton trinton is offline
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Is there any court order for the OCL to get involved? You may want to read through here: http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-motion-20835/ - hopefully Tayken won't call you a jack-ass.


Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Child has admitted that Dad is punishing her whenever she tells counsellor/assessor that he is coaching her, punishing her etc.
Put that in your affidavit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Parental conflict continues, constant threats to take me back to court.
Put that in your affidavit, and hopefully you have evidence to back it up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
my child is too scared to tell anyone the truth.
what exactly will the OCL look for to accept involvement? I need to know what to write into the affadavit as I have mountains of evidence.
What mountains of evidence do you have?

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Can they assign both a lawyer and an assessor?
Don't know, but I am interested in the answer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
How much attention will they pay to CAS records, counselors already involved?
A lot as long as they are relevant- attach them as exhibits.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
If I had a recording of my child talking about the dad's coaching and punishment, would they even consider it?
No, and matter of fact, they would use that against you. it is evidence that you are exposing your child to the conflict. The family legal system frowns on parents who record their children. It happens all the time. So just stop.
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  #3  
Old 03-21-2017, 12:26 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
We have exhausted our resources (parental counseling, 2 mediation agreements not followed, several counselors for child whom she would not open up to, CAS continuous involvement).
What do you mean "exhausted our resources"? Do you mean run out of money?

I have a concern when a parent says that their child will not "open up to" counselors. Generally, for a child who is 10 the sessions with a properly trained psychologist/psychiatrist will be done mostly in private between the child and the clinician. Parents are generally not in the room for the entire visit. (Unless it is reunification counseling or some other specialized practice.)

So in absence of the information, I can only assume that you are not in the room and are making this broad assumption. The clinician will want the child's input and not the parent's perspective on what they "believe" is happening.

It takes a long time for clinicians to establish a trusted relationship with children. So don't expect things to happen quickly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Child has admitted that Dad is punishing her whenever she tells counsellor/assessor that he is coaching her, punishing her etc.
Admitted to whom? To you? You stated above that the child won't "open up". Hence the question.

Often will tell a parent what they think the parent wants to hear. Even if it isn't truthful. They tell the parents things because the onslaught of questions about the other parent will quickly end. Even if it isn't the best way to end the conversation. Getting out of an anxious situation is the goal for the child. I am not saying this *is* happening. But, it is worth assessing if this is happening.


Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Parental conflict continues, most recently with him refusing to pay increase in CS for 6 months (finally paid when he realized how bad that would look to a judge)
Again, this has nothing to do with the child in the matter. The child should not be aware of this conflict at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
constant threats to take me back to court.
Again, this doesn't involve the child. Also, if you have a final order in hand you should /ignore this stuff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
my child is too scared to tell anyone the truth.
"the truth" or "your version of what you think the truth is" -- You need to determine which it is. (See above.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
what exactly will the OCL look for to accept involvement?
They generally need a clinical reason to become involved. (Or a really good reason.) Parental conflict is generally not enough. Hearsay from a parent in an affidavit that says the child told me this/told me that etc... won't work. You need the current clinical professional working with your daughter to raise a concern that would point to the need to have an assessment. Failing grades, extreme anxiety, depression, etc...


Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
I need to know what to write into the affadavit as I have mountains of evidence.
Is it good evidence though. Most people don't understand the rules of evidence. Hearsay and belief are not evidence. The best evidence you can get is from an independent third party - like the clinician treating your daughter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Can they assign both a lawyer and an assessor?
For your situation, you would need a clinical assessment I think.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
How much attention will they pay to CAS records, counselors already involved?
Significant attention. They would interview and reivew all the records.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
If I had a recording of my child talking about the dad's coaching and punishment, would they even consider it?
NO! In fact, that would would get you in a lot of trouble. You should never be interviewing your child about what happens at the other parent's place and you should not be taping it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Thanks..I need to know where to start. the overwhelm is real
You start with retaining a lawyer.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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  #4  
Old 03-21-2017, 04:16 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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I've been through all this before. OCL involvement and settlement based on recommendations in 2011.
Mountains of evidence is 8 years worth of text messages from him, refusal to pay CS increase for last 6 months. CAS involvement on no less than 10 separate occasions (both sides and independant reports)

Child has told me on several occasions that she is punished by her father when she tells CAS, counsellors about how dad yell sat her and gets in her face.
Look...I realize that for most parties it is best to assume that there are still steps to take that can resolve this. What I meant by exhausted my resources is that we have tried everything. Counselling mediation court..we've tried it all.
I need to protect my child. Even the CAS worker was baffled today with what to do if she won't tell him what is going on.
It is bad enough that I was not taken seriously when I reported abuse despite photographic evidence. What do I have to Do to get my kid help?
I am NOT out to "get" her dad. I've spent 8 years doing what I can to support their relationship and also walking a fine line trying to protect her from his manipulation and alienation. Continuing to sit on this fence is only hurting her and showing her that even when she asks for help..she won't get it.

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  #5  
Old 03-21-2017, 04:20 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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We have been to mediation twice, came to agreements both times, added to final order. He chooses where and when he wants to follow the agreement.
Stalking my Facebook profile, which CAS reprimanded him for.
So if anyone has some good ideas..please suggest.
And no, I do not have the money to retain a lawyer. I do not own a home or have anything I can use as collateral


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