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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 10-24-2014, 12:00 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Default "Can we talk for a minute?"

The red-flag question, that comes up when you arrive to pickup your child, from the other parent.

I knew something was up, as soon as I pulled up to her place, as I could see her standing on her front step, by herself (no D5 visible).

sigh.
Get out of my vehicle, to open car door for when D5 comes out, and...

Ex: "Umm.. Can we talk for a minute?"

Me: "I'm kind of in a rush. What about? Is it important?"

Ex: "Can you explain this too me <myname>? Can I expect this BS every year from you <myname>?" (she has a paper in her hand)

Me: "I don't know what you have there. Can I see?"

Ex didn't show me what she had, but started to go into some tirade about Revenue Canada and her taxes, and my "claims".

Me: "I don't know your tax situation. Your tax issues, are your tax issues. You never provide me your tax returns, so that is not something I know about." (we are court ordered to exchange them, I do, she never does)

Her: "My government business is none of your business <myname>"

(actually, it kind of is, since she's supposed to exchange her returns...I of course didn't bring that up further though).

She kept ranting, so I just told her,

Me: "Like I said, I don't know your tax situation and I haven't heard from CRA about this. Can you get D5? I'll wait in the car for her."

Ex kept ranting. Said she would send CRA everything she has, and ruin me. Said CRA won't pay me, for "vacations" with D5. Ex called me a derogatory name.

I'm just sitting in my car waiting, while she continues on.

She stopped ranting and called D5 out, and D5 was out a few seconds later.

I`m sure D5 could hear her.
Embarassing, because a neighbour of hers was also out, doing yard-work, and could hear this. I don't think ex and this neighbour get along though, as I'm suspecting he hears other crap when I'm not there trying to pickup our child.

Given what she said to me, I'm guessing that CRA is simply crediting me part of the child tax benefit again, as they are doing each year. Because I have badly worded order on this part, they only credit me for part of the year (summer season). But they had communicated to us last time, that they would be doing this. Perhaps there is some other unknown to me issue. I honestly don't care.

Ex continues to ignore requests to have exchange location moved. That won't change, unless a court orders it, it seems.
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  #2  
Old 10-24-2014, 12:07 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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You are recording this, I hope?

In the future the question of 'can we talk?' should always be answered with 'i am in a rush, please email me if you feel you need to.' Return to your car with the windows up and be busy on your phone or making a call (call your voicemail if needed) and wait for the kid to come out.
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Old 10-24-2014, 12:19 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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My ex called me earlier this week and asked if I had claimed my D9 in my tax returns as she was being audited about the tax refunds she received for D9. I have never claimed her, or any activities or tax credit, as I can't and know this. I don't have enough parenting time to qualify (I have the EOW screw-job).

She was polite and I was honest. She was ok, she will look into whatever it is on her end.

This letter could be along those lines, and the CRA is simply looking into instances of separated families. Who knows.
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Old 10-24-2014, 12:54 PM
Serene Serene is offline
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Who cares. You are entitled to claim what you claim. And if not, CRA will let you know.

Moving forward:

Her - Do you have a minute?
You - No, I really need to go, I'll be in the car waiting for child.
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Old 10-24-2014, 12:55 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
You are recording this, I hope?
I always record each pickup/dropoff exchange, as I don't know how they will go. Fortunately, it's been a long while, since the police have been called. If I think, "hmmm... I should probably keep that recording..." I do. If there was nothing of consequence, then I just purge it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
...
This letter could be along those lines, and the CRA is simply looking into instances of separated families. Who knows...
It could well be, since I haven't received anything lately from CRA. Perhaps I will get something next week? But given her ranting, I'm guessing they are catching up to adjustments.
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Old 10-24-2014, 01:04 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
...You are entitled to claim what you claim. And if not, CRA will let you know...
Yes, exactly.
It's not like CRA gives me special treatment. They are applying the tax rules (or benefit rules).
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Old 11-02-2014, 10:08 PM
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Good thing you refused to talk. My ex wants to meet at tims to convince me to take off CS. I feel like going becauee i might recordcsomething that can eventually be used against her.

If it was anything else i would jyst say send me an email
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Old 11-02-2014, 10:12 PM
The Iceberg The Iceberg is offline
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Default Extracurricular activities

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Last edited by The Iceberg; 11-02-2014 at 10:13 PM. Reason: Wrong thread
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Old 11-03-2014, 10:21 AM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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From what I can see, this year CRA is heavily auditing this area. Every divorced person I know is being asked a lot more pointed questions by CRA than usual, and many people who had been collecting benefits improperly are being nailed.

Unfortunately, neither divorcing parents nor their family law lawyers seem very good at preparing agreements, offers and orders that actually respect CRA's rules.

Most people don't seem to understand that things like the CCTB, UCB and claiming dependents are NOT items that are open for negotiation between the parties. They are CRAs money, and they alone will dictate who gets it. Some times people can get away with it for awhile, but in the end CRA always catches them and it's brutal.
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Old 11-03-2014, 10:39 AM
DowntroddenDad DowntroddenDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FightingForFamily View Post
From what I can see, this year CRA is heavily auditing this area. Every divorced person I know is being asked a lot more pointed questions by CRA than usual, and many people who had been collecting benefits improperly are being nailed.

Unfortunately, neither divorcing parents nor their family law lawyers seem very good at preparing agreements, offers and orders that actually respect CRA's rules.

Most people don't seem to understand that things like the CCTB, UCB and claiming dependents are NOT items that are open for negotiation between the parties. They are CRAs money, and they alone will dictate who gets it. Some times people can get away with it for awhile, but in the end CRA always catches them and it's brutal.
My GF, who is self employed, was audited for last year, deductions that were fine before are being denied.
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