Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 02-23-2013, 03:33 PM
d002 d002 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 42
d002 is on a distinguished road
Default Need a lawyer, need help!

Hi,
Please if there is someone on here who knows or is a lawyer I really need help but do not have a lot of money. My ex husband finally managed to get me to give up child support but his emotional abuse and constant harrassment ended up in my having a breakdown.....I just want weekend visitations, he took them from school and switched their schools, I ended up in a shelter then crisis center and now have supervised visits which I insisted on, but he keeps saying the time doesn't work for him so I have only seen them twice since January 10, before that I had full custody. My children text me daily to say they love and miss me, but he said I am going to pay for making him pay so much child support for years. I just want to see them on weekends, can someone help me? I can explain in more detail if you want to message, but not on here since I find some people make wrong assumptions. Please, my Social Worker agrees that he is using the children to get back at me and I have opened a file with DPG but they say I need a lawyer. I made too much last year to get legal aid, even though I have now lost everything and am on disability because of all this. I miss my job but I cannot stand being away from my children and that is my priority. I just want to go to court and get visitation rights. Enough of his games, I gave him all the child support but he says that is not enough....how much would it cost to have the draft agreement they sent me which I modified for visitation put into effect in court? Please I miss them desperately...........can anyone help? Or know anyone who could help that doesn't cost a lot of money? I am selling almost everything I own to try and find someone.
Thank you.
  #2  
Old 02-23-2013, 11:04 PM
HappyDays HappyDays is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 286
HappyDays is on a distinguished road
Default

You don't have to give specific details, but how did you go from full custody, to no access, to now only wanting to see the kids on weekends.

Child support is the childrens right, so whoever doesn't have custody should be paying.

You can always go into court and speak to duty counsel. They will help you prepare all the paperwork, explain the process, and give advice on what you should do/say for free. They won't be able to represent you in court, but hopefully you can explain everything to a judge better then them anyways. Sometimes the judge is easier on you when you are self represented.

If you're still in a shelter, I'm not 100% sure, but they should have someone to help with this for free too.
  #3  
Old 02-24-2013, 12:47 AM
mnadarasah mnadarasah is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: SCARBOROUGH
Posts: 23
mnadarasah is on a distinguished road
Default Try this lawyer, She is my x-wife lawyer and she is really good

She gave me really hard time. My two lawyers was quit because of her. She really work for her client. I had three lawyers but she is really good.





Ms. Renuka Satchithananthan, LL.B.

Name :
Renuka Satchithananthan
Firm :
Renuka Satchithananthan, Barrister & Solicitor
Address :
1235 Bay Street, Suite 502
Toronto, Ontario, M5R3K4, Canada
Phone :
(416) 962-8008
Fax :
(416) 925-4571
E-Mail :
Contact this Professional
  #4  
Old 02-24-2013, 06:44 AM
d002 d002 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 42
d002 is on a distinguished road
Default

I had an emotional breakdown, my dad had a heartattack in late October, I purchased his house since he could no longer work and afford it, I scraped every penny together for a downpayment to give them so they could rent a house and retire. My ex really upped the harrassment (all my former posts go through all the things his lawyer and him did), I started to have difficulty dealing with everyday issues because I was working full time at a very difficult career so when I was having trouble coping I went to see a psychiatrist in emergency. They gave me a medication I did not react well to and ended up back in the hospital with a full emotional breakdown/medication reaction. While there my sister found it too difficult to look after my two children and called my ex to come pick them up (I was hospitalized 3 days). When I was released I was taking a week off work, was given medication to help with the anxiety and so I went to pick my children up from school. When I got there they told me that my ex-husband had already picked them up, I panicked because I knew exactly what he was planning, I went to get them and he would not let me take them, I called the police, and he convinced them that he was just keeping them from Wed. to Sunday to 'help' me out and would bring them to their schools on the Thursday and Friday. The police officer told me he thought this was a good idea that if I had just been hospitalized the time off would help. I KNEW my ex was lying, the next day I called the schools and the children weren't there. My ex was not answering my phone calls or emails. I started panicking, on Friday when I found out he had withdrawn them and enrolled them in another school, told the children they were staying with him, just needed me to sign the permission form, my parents said that since he had the children and I would not get child support I could not afford their house, I fell apart and went to a women's shelter, while there I signed the transfer papers for my children, it would not have been fair to make them switch back and forth and I did not have a home. The second page of the fax to transfer them was a guardianship letter, I thought this just meant he needed it to move their schools. As soon as it was sent, he emailed me at the shelter that he would make sure I saw them the least amount possible so that I would have to pay him child support (he had extended visitation, 3 wkd's per month plus half the summer, to lower his payments originally plus the fact that I refused alimony from the start ($400 a month). I asked for the same visitation as he had, he said no, I was going to pay for a change since I fought his lawyer to keep the support. I fell apart, I found out I had no rights because I had signed guardianship over to him and ended up being transferred to a Crisis center. Once I found an apartment in town I moved into it but had to declare bankruptcy because of all the money I had lost for the downpayment, and now I was on disability off until September (I hope I love my career and really want to return but can't until I have done everything possible to get visitations.) I decided to not disrupt their lives again and let him keep his child support to end all the harrassment, and get to spend some fun time with my children on weekends, really get to enjoy my time with them, go skiing with them more often, hiking, etc. He and his lawyer said I was not 'psychologically' safe to be around my children until I provided a psych letter (waiting list is minimum 6 months but we have really been pushing to fast track it) I can only have supervised visitation. I totally agreed, I have nothing to hide and just wanted to see my children. I told the home I was available any and all time for the visits so it was just up to him, for a month he refused the times they gave him as not being 'good' for him (yet he took them away for the weekend when they did have an opening, they have been allowed to see my younger sister every week, she is a part of this and very close with my ex, hates me since we didn't get along as kids). Thus two one hour visits with them since January 10, yet we text everyday. My daughter and son beg me to come stay with me on weekends
like they did with their dad, everyday they say they love and miss me, this is killing me. He keeps telling them that when he gets the psychiatrists letter saying I am no longer suicidal then they will be allowed to visit. I have been referred to every resource and begged to get a psychiatrist, everyone is trying to help me because they see that I need to see my children and they need to see me (2 hours in a month after being with me full time is neglecting their emotional needs, thus my asking DPG to get involved, they agree with me and have opened a file but only a lawyer can get me my weekend visitations. I did not know that when I signed a guardianship form that meant I gave up all my rights as their mother. The only thing getting me through each day is fighting to be able to see them regularly soon, the doctor's have told me I have been through emotional abuse with him and this controlling my access to the children is one more way to make me suffer. I am selling all my belongings, bought some stuff second hand and am trying to raise some money for a lawyer. That is how I ended up going from full custody to near nothing. This is breaking my heart, and theirs. He won yet he is going to milk this for all it is worth as pay back for me fighting the child support issue and increasing his lawyer bills especially now with a new baby and marriage. My children are no longer in any sports (I had them in a few), my daughter does not have a tutor anymore, they say their dad works long hours (he did when we were married also). It is all about the money and now the revenge. I just want visitations with my children, I never refused him anything regarding seeing the children, taking them on vacation, etc. Now if I call they won't answer or the kids have to talk to me on speaker phone, so we text but these are monitored as well. I am doing everything and more to get help coping but he is enjoying every minute I am sure, he knew he would push me into a breakdown and get his own way. If you read back to my other posts in November you will see I saw this coming. Please, I need a lawyer but cannot afford an expensive one and because I worked full time last year, am not legible for legal aid. Thank you. So if anyone knows a lawyer who could help me just to go to court, pass the draft agreement I have modified from my ex's lawyer that doesn't cost a lot I would greatly appreciate it, I don't know where to turn right now....I figure representing myself sure didn't work. Thank you.
  #5  
Old 02-24-2013, 08:12 AM
d002 d002 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 42
d002 is on a distinguished road
Default

I have the draft agreement that they sent me and I modified to get visitations, do I need a lawyer to have the agreement sent to court to finalize? Does this make sense?
Thank you!
  #6  
Old 02-24-2013, 09:00 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,530
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by d002 View Post
I have the draft agreement that they sent me and I modified to get visitations, do I need a lawyer to have the agreement sent to court to finalize? Does this make sense?
Thank you!
if you modified it then you have to send it back to his lawyer to see is they accept the modifications and sign off on them.

I realize your kids are the main thing but you really should get back to work. You need the routine of work etc to help you calm down a bit. Focusing all your energy and thoughts on the kids isnt healthy for your mental state, you need to be able to shut down on that for a little while each day and working will get your mind off things a bit and help you think more clearer. There maybe something more that you can do that is staring you right in the face but you cant see it when your thoughts are just focused on one thing.

Your ex is trying to get revenge and using the kids (how old are they?) You could maybe fight the paper that you signed for guardianship as you were not fit mentally to sign anything.

How did you lose your downpayment for your parents house?? Are you saying that your parents kept the money? When you were looking to buy a house you should have not included the CS in the budget, it is never a sure thing (especially with your ex it seems) Just use the money that you actually earn from your job.
  #7  
Old 02-24-2013, 09:09 AM
d002 d002 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 42
d002 is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes, my parents kept the downpayment and hadn't warned me there was a $600 per month hydro bill also. I have tried to get it back through my bankruptcy lawyer but they are declaring bankruptcy now. I did not apply for a mortgage because I didn't make enough and so they held the mortgage, I know, I am stupid and trusting. I cannot return to work because I have to attend therapy and find a psychiatrist to show I am okay to have visitation with my children (their stipulation when I ended up in the crisis center). I was working in a rural area, lost my vehicle and can't bus to work up there, plus my family live there and being a very small town...... I worked at and I understand that I need to go back but I need to see my children more importantly. To have this finalized or I just end up back where I was in January which is no good for anyone.
  #8  
Old 02-24-2013, 09:12 AM
d002 d002 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 42
d002 is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes he is getting revenge using my children they are 10 and 12, text me daily. I sent back the modified agreement and my ex, not his lawyer, sent it back saying I was asking for too much visitation (3 wkd the same he had) and that I would pay for not giving in to him months ago. So he refused it on those grounds.
  #9  
Old 02-24-2013, 09:20 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,530
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by d002 View Post
Yes, my parents kept the downpayment and hadn't warned me there was a $600 per month hydro bill also. I have tried to get it back through my bankruptcy lawyer but they are declaring bankruptcy now. I did not apply for a mortgage because I didn't make enough and so they held the mortgage, I know, I am stupid and trusting. I cannot return to work because I have to attend therapy and find a psychiatrist to show I am okay to have visitation with my children (their stipulation when I ended up in the crisis center). I was working in a rural area, lost my vehicle and can't bus to work up there, plus my family live there and being a very small town...... I worked at and I understand that I need to go back but I need to see my children more importantly. To have this finalized or I just end up back where I was in January which is no good for anyone.
I wonder if they are legally able to do that. They are real pieces of work, well them and your sister. I would move to a bigger town, if you are sticking around there for your parents and sister then you are wasting your time.

You dont understand, starting work etc will give you two things you need, money and stability. So your work is saying you cannot return or is it the crisis center?? Lots of people who are worse off then you (Years of not seeing kids and the battle to see them) manage to work and fight their battle.
  #10  
Old 02-24-2013, 09:32 AM
d002 d002 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 42
d002 is on a distinguished road
Default

Exactly, I have moved into town away from my family and have no more contact with them, I am trying to get a transfer into town and am on sick leave at the moment (I guess that is a better description). I am looking to get a position in town, I cannot return to that place of employment because my family is in the town, I don't have transportation and would run into my family constantly not to mention the fact that my son was at the school I was at and I would be constantly questioned plus one of my family works there also. Not exactly an ideal environment to 'go back to work and move on'. I really need help right now emotionally, I realize other people have been through worse, but you don't understand the deep pain of losing your children even if temporarily, they were and are my life, it is almost unbearable, I am trying to fight back, I just want visitations with them, I miss them sooo much, my ex continues to refuse visits even at the supervised center to punish me only making a bad situation worse....I am starting full time therapy this week because of this, I need to be emotionally stable to do my job, it is quite a difficult position.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can my lawyer berate me? Holly Divorce & Family Law 8 07-11-2012 12:35 PM
Ditching Lawyer to Represent Myself Rhonda&Kids Divorce & Family Law 8 02-28-2010 12:33 PM
Lawyer out of town? What to do? Edward Divorce & Family Law 2 10-20-2009 08:46 AM
What to do with my case? independentgal Divorce & Family Law 6 04-17-2008 05:30 PM
Sounds like my lawyer is gonna bail on me... sasha1 Divorce & Family Law 26 01-18-2006 06:13 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:49 PM.